Cockroach Cafe 🪳Autumn 2022 🪳

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Welcome! I’ve taken advantage of the relative quietness recently to have a good “spring” clean. And also install solar panels and get in a good supply of logs for the stove.

Come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So 🪳 mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

chester, I hope you find peace.

Oh @chesterelly1 I'm very sorry. Glad for no more hospital time and horrible treatments and needles and worry, but very sorry that he's died.

For a lot of Councils the way it works is “if they fall they press it and the call handler contacts you to come and pick them up”

@chesterelly1

@chesterelly1 🌺🌺🌺

@chesterelly1

chester I am so sorry, I didn't see your post yesterday.

I am horrified he and you had to go through all that. Water too cold. FFS.

May he rest in peace now. Hugs to you

@chesterelly1 So sorry. Hope you all get a chance to take things slowly and no more stress for a while.

There is no team in my area, or mum's, or her friends. They alert friends and relatives to deal with it. I have honestly never heard of an actual team being in any area, sounds amazing.

@chesterelly1 I'm so sorry, take care of yourself

So sorry for your loss but glad he is at peace now. Look after yourself ❤

So sorry for your loss, @chesterelly1 .

So sorry, @chesterelly1 . You've been through so much, and your DF even more.

@chesterelly1 sorry for your loss and thinking of you x

@chesterelly1 I'm sorry that he's died but glad that there wasn't another round of discharge and admission for him to suffer.

Can I share positive things? DM is currently in an elder care assessment unit after we twisted her arm to come to a&e to get her “funny turns” checked out on Friday, on her GPs request. Ever since we stepped into the hospital, we have been met with nothing but care, consideration and kindness. The doctors are treating her as a human being, not just a set of symptoms, with the aim of finding the best long term solution to keep her safe. The doctor in a&e even went and made her a cup of tea himself while we were waiting for a bed. He’s comment when we thanked him for his care was “we’re (nhs) not that broken, we should be able to do this, it’s straightforward”.

Thats great news @funnelfan.

Hello, hope there's room for another one in the cafe. The inevitable happened this week & my mum had a fall and ended up in hospital. She has Alzheimers and has got a lot worse since her fall. She has also had at least 2 falls since being in the hospital. Dad has reluctantly agreed that he can no longer cope at home so we will need to look at homes. It's so sad to see the decline in Mum and how it's breaking Dad's heart.

@funnelfan good to hear.
@seanbeanmarryme welcome, plenty of room for all here. Sorry to hear about your dm, and your df. Feel free to ask questions, vent or anything.

It's been a testing weekend again with Dad. He's being encouraged to eat but for some reason they're giving him solid food and he just can't manage it. He chews, feels sick and then has to spit it out. He was covered in food today, it was all around his chair/floor, and he is trying to hide it all in his bin. He was in a foul mood today, moaned the whole time I was there about what a terrible place it was (it really really isn't), and for the 1st hour, thought I was my DD. He can't use his phone anymore and has locked his banking app so now I've got no access to his finances at all (it's all happened too quick to get POA). He got in such a state that I've ended up going to his flat this afternoon and spent 2 hours looking for an old Nokia he'd got somewhere that he insisted on having. Respite stay my bloody arse, I've had no respite from this at all and am feeling very sorry for myself tonight.

Argh badger why are they doing that? Can you ask for a liquid diet - does he still feel sick on nourishing drinks?

Hello all <waving>

Badger why on earth would do that? Sorry to say it but it smacks of someone making a very weird decision somewhere along the line.

I'm sorry this is so hard on you.

how frustrating Badger. Are you trying to get to the bottom of the food issue - could it be your dad is insisting on trying solid food rather than the respite place pushing it on him?

sound like respite is just creating a new set of tasks for you to run around. Can you say no to any of them?

I think the problem is that the kitchen staff go into the rooms and ask the patients what they'd like that day, rather than the nursing staff guiding it. I'm going to have to catch someone today, and explain that he can't chew. He does really well on plain yogurt, Fortesips and he's even been enjoying ice cream.

I am going to have to start saying No to some of his requests - it's like I'm enabling his madness and being swallowed whole by it too.

Badger oh I see. This is a bit strange. I hope you get it sorted. Sorry, I feel your pain re the phone etc.

does anyone else's oldie have constant stomach problems? Mum is having another flare up and I have realised all her falls have been preceded by flare ups of this - I realise there's no medical connection but it just struck me recently.