Hello Everyone
Occasional visitor here, and back for coffee and cake ( lemon drizzle or coffee and walnut please.)
Mother, 91, frail, Alzheimer's, DNR in place, in care home. Has been ailing for a while, having episodes with varying degrees of severity of being hard to rouse and not responding to staff. Possibly mini strokes. When this happens, it ends up in her being transferred to hospital to be checked out, with endless ( up to 36 hrs once) waits in a and e.
Her local hospital is diabolically bad at communicating anything, so this results in days of highly stressful radio silence. It's almost impossible to get through either via the switchboard or directly to the ward.
Latest episode was on Sunday. It didn't sound too bad, her obs were ok, but... abundance of caution ( otherwise known as back covering I suspect) kicked in and off she went.
Call from care home some hours later. Sorrowful tones. She was being discharged on palliative care only as nothing radically wrong that they could tell. Docs thought she was approaching the end.
Although sad, this news was rather a relief. I feel very strongly it cannot be in her best interests to be continually ping ponged around in this way when nothing concrete will be gained. She needs to be in the comfort and familiarity of the care home, surely, and what will be, will be.
Imagine my surprise therefore to receive further call some hours later from an on call doctor in another far distant hospital ' as you know your mother has been transferred here for scans and assessments...' 
. She had no knowledge of previous discharge decision. I explained my feelings and she promised that the consultant would call me in the morning to discuss, and that nothing would be done until then.
Next morning dawns. I have a call from a research clinician at the hospital seeking my permission for my mother to take part that day in a study about the benefit of regular teeth cleaning in elderly stroke patients to prevent aspiration pneumonia. 
I refuse permission, explain the position and ask if she has any clue what is going on. She says she has been told mother is due for urgent discharge that day. Excellent news. I ask them to tell me when she is on her way back to the home, and I call the home to expect her back. They tell me I will be able to visit without an appointment, and will put all the arrangements in place re equipment etc.
Hours pass.
I call the home. The message about her potential discharge has not been passed on, so they are not expecting her. They ring the ward and by some miracle get through.
They are told that Mother isn't due for discharge 'just yet', and far from being on end of life care, is alert and having physio to prepare her for discharge.
Today I will speak to the care home manager and try to get an urgent call with the GP practice to try to stop these constant admissions if possible.
The communication failures at the hospital trust will not be resolved anytime soon, so I need to tackle the local decision makers instead.
It's all completely disgraceful.