Cockroach Cafe - newly refurbished for the summer

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Welcome into our newly refurbished cafe. We've got rid of the Bad Daughters' bench - it was getting too small - and refitted the main room as a Bad Daughters' room, with comfy sofas, coffee, chocolates and drinks of your choice. (There is a good daughters' room - go down that corridor there and you'll find it tucked behind the stairs. It's not yet been fully furnished - we haven't had a visit from a Good Daughter in I don't know how long).

Anyway, come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So cockroach mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

I've managed to speak to mum and reassure her but I'm afraid I gave the hospital both barrels. Not particularly proud of that but DB has had a very apologetic doctor phone him and hopefully they understand the very real distress that they have caused an 83 year old lady and will he more careful in future (yeah, ok, this is the hospital that lost his shoes and sent him home barefoot and in pissy clothes last time so maybe not). At least now we know what is happening and in the morning we can find out what the visiting rules are at the home as Mum hasn't been able to see dad since 13/8. If they had phoned DB that's something we could have found out today.

yeah, ok, this is the hospital that lost his shoes and sent him home barefoot You too? Ours lost one of my father's slippers. Christmas present, they lost it on about 1st Jan. I wasn't happy.

He was only in for less than 24 hours ghat time. They phoned DB to pick him up and didn't mention they had lost his shoes moving and left him so long with neither help to get up nor a bottle that he had wet himself.

The dad of a friend of mine collapsed at home due to leg problems. They called an ambulance and were told it would be 11 hours.

Nine hours later they were told there was no ambulance and to call OOH. The OOH doctor looked at the photo of his legs and said you must see the GP tomorrow. Eventually got a GP appointment that afternoon who promptly sent him to A&E, nine hours later they found a bed for him.

Next day friend's DSis gets a call asking her to come and pick him up, which she did. He was in a terrible state.

They then get a call saying he shouldn't have been discharged, it was a mistake!

Several years ago my DDad was sent home after a night in hospital for investigation into abdominal pains. He was so dehydrated (in spite of repeatedly asking them if he could drink and being ignored) that he virtually collapsed getting into the taxi. The driver went into the M&S store to buy bottle water for him.

That's awful.

Dad is at the care home now. I'm going to phone tomorrow to see when I can visit.

14 day quarantine😔

(((Hugs))) @countrygirl99

That bit is so tough. I was lucky that my dad was in a front ground floor bedroom and in walking distance of my house so I use to potter past every couple of days and wave at him!

Toughest gor mum. It will be 5 weeks since she saw him by the time quarantine is over and she is really struggling already. She is still in total denial about her alzheimers. DB took her to the doctors this afternoon snd she told the GP that no one is telling her when dad is coming out of hospital. He was already in the care home and DB had explained several times.

Surely they can test him to make the quarantine period shorter!?

You would have thought so wouldn't you. Maybe I'm underthinking this which would be a complete reversal from my normal self but I would have thought a negative PCR on say day 5 would have been fine for receiving visitors in his room. I can see an argument for keeping him separate from other residents with a PCR at day 8-10 but I can't see how visitors with a negative LFT will be less risky after 14 days than before.

Country I think each carehome interprets the guidance in their own way and I suspect some places do it differently. While it’s a long while for your DM and family to be apart from him, maybe it buys you a little time to regroup and work out what the new normal will be for your family dynamic.
I’m feeling guilty that I am not rushing to visit my DM. It’s a week since I’ve gone and as she no longer has any significant recognition that it’s me, I’m prioritising other things. But I do feel bad.

Dad is 94 and very frail. Even a few weeks is likely a big proportion of the time my parents have left together.

Hi - apologies for the grim topic, but is there anywhere I can buy incontinence slips (disposable pants with tapes) on the high street? Amazon will deliver in a couple of days but was looking for something sooner.

I've been looking online, but I'm quite new to this.

Thanks.

country I'm sure the care home will set up a daily face time call for him when you explain how upset your DM has become. Teams and FaceTime meet ups are now a 'thing' in our care home after the last 18 months. There is bound to be an Entertainments or Activities co-ordinator who will look favourably on making the 14 days less difficult for your DF. I'm not sure if your DM can still bake or write him a card or a couple of daily paragraphs but when my DF was in hospital and apart from my DM, we sent him funny letters detailing what she was getting up to and her riotous behaviour. However, as she got sectioned shortly after that the letters were more about us telling him how we weren't coping

Mum can't manage anything tech wise now. She used to shop on the Internet, email, use Facebook etc but it's all gone. She can just about manage to use her tablet to play solitaire these days but often manages to mess even that up. Goodness knows how.

Sorry countty
bamboo worth contacting boots or a local disability aids place?

bamboo google suggests Boots do them

@countrygirl99

I feel so sad and angry on your behalf. We had this when dad transferred and although it could've been worse we (and particularly I) could have had so much more time with him.

I've just found this, updated 17th August. It seems to imply that they actually shouldn't be enforcing this quarantine...it's no longer government guidelines.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-admission-and-care-of-people-in-care-homes/coronavirus-covid-19-admission-and-care-of-people-in-care-homes#admission-and-isolation-of-residents

Thank you thesandwich notaflyingmonkey I've sourced some.

Sorry to derail country

@BambooWhoosh

We used to get dad's from eBay...not sure which ones they were but they do a few brands and some are available to Click and collect if that's any help in the future.

Thanks Minty.

@bamboo. You should be able to get them from a chemist . If it's a long term thing it will be worth your while contacting the District Nurses and asking for a continence assessment. If they deem incontinence aids are necessary then you should be able to get monthly deliveries.

@BambooWhoosh what's the advantage of that slip style over the straight pants style? Is it more for bedbound use?

Good morning everyone, would it be ok if I join you?

Of course it would @Dumakey

What's going on with you and your Olds?