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Elderly parents
Original poster

Urgent advice needed-mum is delirious

117 replies

flygirl767 · 09/06/2020 14:28

My mum has been gong down hill rapidly, suffering from extreme anxiety and thinking there are people in the house/she's not in her own home. This has been sporadic and the GP could find nothing wrong initially. Over the last few days she has been particularly bad and today she is talking no sense at all. She usually comes round mid morning and is relatively ok but she is talking about being able to see a room full of people, saying she wants to go home etc.

I spoke to the GP this morning, he as already put in an urgent referral to the elderly care team with a view to getting her assessed and scanned but we are unsure how long that would take right now. He said the only other way of getting her assessed is to have her admitted to hospital which she would hate and probably make her even more confused.

I'm going over there now but can't stay over as I have my son at home (she is 30 mins away). Really not sure what to do? She sounds really bad and I wonder if any one has any advice? She is completely delirious at the moment but the GP says if she is a danger to herself I must call an ambulance. Seems extreme but not sure if she is ok on her own?

OP posts:
Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 17:12

@helpfulperson

I agree with your cousin. As long as your mum is in hospital she will get the referalls and see the people she needs to see if only because they don't want her taking up one of their beds longer than is necessary. If she goes home it all becomes much harder. Is she still having the delusions, if so it's also better for the to see them rather than hear about them second hand.

You have absolutely done the correct thing and she is in the best place.

@helpfulperson thank you so much, I know you are right and that has comforted me. She is a little confused from the sound of it but nothing like how she was yesterday. She proudly told me that she passed the memory test (again) with flying colours!

@Wolfiefan I shall raise a (huge) glass to you tonight!

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 10/06/2020 17:15

Just to echo what PP have said, I've always found it easier to get tests as a hospital inpatient when someone needs them, so while I appreciate that it must be awful for you to hear the term sectioned, I do think she's best off in hospital.

I hope they get to the bottom of it very soon OP.

Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 18:04

@flygirl767 and me to you too lovely. Gin

Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 18:23

AMHP has just called, she is being moved to a MH facility less than a mile away from my house! Shame I won't be able to visit but handy for dropping things off to her

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Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 18:48

Oh that’s good news. Can you check if she needs anything taking in? And if they will do laundry?

greathat · 10/06/2020 23:29

Hope she's on the mend soon OP. Good that she is close by at least

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 12:57

I'm being allowed to go and see her tomorrow which is great. We have to meet in the hospital grounds but obviously better than nothing. She seemed fine yesterday and thought she was in a hotel in France so it can't be too bad! I dropped a bag of clothes and goodies off to her and spoke to the nurses who are so caring and supportive.

However she called me this morning very upset, doesn't know why she is there, denying being ill and says that the doctors have told her she has been confused but she's not. Then went on to tell me it was me that was ill not her. Begging me to come and visit and take her home. It was so upsetting, I spent half the morning in tears.
I've now spoke to another nurse who says this is common and she is calm and fine. Mum called again and she was much more lucid and gave me some phone numbers of people I need to call.

Not sure how to broach the subject of why she's there tomorrow, how do you go about this if she thinks she is fine? I don't want to distress her but neither do I want to give her false help as she will be in there minimum 2 weeks.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 13:02

My mum was referred by her go for a scan and X-ray last week. She was seen within a couple of days. The dept was really quiet.

But if she’s as bad as she sounds I think you’re going to have to get her to hospital, whether she likes it or not. She doesn’t sound safe to be alone.

Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 13:03

Sorry, for some reason I didn’t see the last page so ignore the previous post. Glad you’re getting help

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 13:04

@Honeyroar

My mum was referred by her go for a scan and X-ray last week. She was seen within a couple of days. The dept was really quiet.

But if she’s as bad as she sounds I think you’re going to have to get her to hospital, whether she likes it or not. She doesn’t sound safe to be alone.

Thanks @Honeyroar but you missed the last couple of pages, she's been admitted to a MH hospital
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Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 13:05

@Honeyroar

Sorry, for some reason I didn’t see the last page so ignore the previous post. Glad you’re getting help
Cross post! No problem thanks for replying anyway x
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Wolfiefan · 12/06/2020 13:39

Any chance you can say you’ll talk to someone and find out if she starts saying about going home.
We aren’t allowed in. But TBH I think that’s no bad thing. Mum thinks I’m not me.
Hope your mum improves soon. Flowers

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 14:39

@Wolfiefan

Any chance you can say you’ll talk to someone and find out if she starts saying about going home. We aren’t allowed in. But TBH I think that’s no bad thing. Mum thinks I’m not me. Hope your mum improves soon. Flowers
Hi Wolfie yes that is what I said today that I would ask the doctors then I just changed the subject! I'm just more concerned about what to say when she questions what is wrong with her as she clearly believes there isn't anything!
OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/06/2020 14:54

Maybe say they’re waiting for some test results?

helpfulperson · 12/06/2020 17:01

It's a bit like having a child at nursery. She may well be upset for you both on the phone and in person but be fine 10 minutes later with. It is perfectly normal.

Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 17:22

I’ve told my MIL that we’re just waiting to see the Dr again loads of times. I’ve also said I’m just popping to the dentist and will be back shortly when I leave. Makes me feel a little guilty but stops her stressing.

WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 13/06/2020 11:29

You will never get her to understand so its best to try to avoid the subject/ distract away. Don't bring it up unless she does. Just say 'you are in hospital because you have not been well' or something vague like that.

Tell her you are not allowed to take her home which is true because she is detained. You will take her home when the Drs say you can. If she still thinks it's a hotel don't argue. She will most likely not remember any of it or blame you when she is better.

The nurse is right this is very very common for patients not to realise they are unwell and in a mental health unit they will be easily able to handle it. She may get upset when you leave by staff are trained to deal with it and wouldn't advise you to visit if they thought it would harm her.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 13/06/2020 15:28

Well that went surprisingly well! Aside from initially thinking she was in prison and not knowing why I was there, we had a lovely chat and she was pretty lucid. She did ask why she was there and what’s been going on and after waffling for a bit I blamed the GP!! I did tell her it was all to do with her anxiety and how she’s not been coping at home and she seemed to accept that. She said that she didn’t think she was ever going to get out and I said that she would it just takes time to get the right medication and she seemed happy with that.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 13/06/2020 15:33

Oh I’m so pleased. I’m waiting to hear back about my mum. They found her on the floor in the middle of the night. Sad

Original poster
flygirl767 · 13/06/2020 16:05

@Wolfiefan

Oh I’m so pleased. I’m waiting to hear back about my mum. They found her on the floor in the middle of the night. Sad
Oh @Wolfiefan how worrying. I hope you get to the bottom of what happened and she is okay. Keep me posted
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Rinsefirst · 13/06/2020 16:54

The ‘good’ thing about being sectioned is there is a higher staff ratio available to her than any other form of help. They will get her on to some meds I would imagine to help her deal with what’s going on. My DM was sectioned five years ago. She was very well looked after in her unit and we were able to provide her with her own bed linen and did her washing. Suspect that may not be an option for you but at least she is handy if you are s as slowed to provide meals. We just explained it as she was being given a free holiday so why would she pass that up?

Rinsefirst · 13/06/2020 16:57

Able not slowed.
Wolfie hope she’s stable now Flowers

Wolfiefan · 13/06/2020 17:02

She’s had a scan and no brain bleed.

Pearl97 · 13/06/2020 17:08

OMG I could have written a lot of these posts. My mum is currently in hospital. She has had every test available and physically she is ok. She has been totally confused for weeks. Do people think covid has brought a lot of this on? Not that they have it, but the anxiety brought on by it.
Thinking of everyone. This is such a crazy time xxx

Wolfiefan · 13/06/2020 17:56

@Pearl97 the staff told me they think lockdown has caused a lot of it. If people are anxious they can normally see family, go out shopping or do any one of 101 things to distract themselves. But stuck at home? Alone? With just those thoughts in your head getting louder and louder? It’s no wonder that people without effective coping strategies are slipping under.
Crazy feels like an understatement today. Sad