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Elderly parents
Original poster

Urgent advice needed-mum is delirious

117 replies

flygirl767 · 09/06/2020 14:28

My mum has been gong down hill rapidly, suffering from extreme anxiety and thinking there are people in the house/she's not in her own home. This has been sporadic and the GP could find nothing wrong initially. Over the last few days she has been particularly bad and today she is talking no sense at all. She usually comes round mid morning and is relatively ok but she is talking about being able to see a room full of people, saying she wants to go home etc.

I spoke to the GP this morning, he as already put in an urgent referral to the elderly care team with a view to getting her assessed and scanned but we are unsure how long that would take right now. He said the only other way of getting her assessed is to have her admitted to hospital which she would hate and probably make her even more confused.

I'm going over there now but can't stay over as I have my son at home (she is 30 mins away). Really not sure what to do? She sounds really bad and I wonder if any one has any advice? She is completely delirious at the moment but the GP says if she is a danger to herself I must call an ambulance. Seems extreme but not sure if she is ok on her own?

OP posts:
Pearl97 · 13/06/2020 18:01

@Wokfiefan, I totally agree with you. I could see my mum was struggling from the minute I told her she had to stay in.
The problem is, she’s now not ok even when she’s with people. As awful as it sounds I’m so glad she’s in hospital as the worry was becoming unbearable.
They have said they think my mum is physically ok, but they can see the mental issues. She was admitted a few weeks ago and sent home deemed mentally ok. It’s just so hard.
I’m really thinking of you. I would never wish this on anyone but knowing we’re not alone and can support each other has made me feel a little better. Take care.

Wolfiefan · 13/06/2020 18:15

Thank you. I’m so glad my mum is safe and I really hope this will be the start of better mental health for her @Pearl97. It’s got to be better than her calling the fire brigade out in the middle of the night because the house is on fire. It wasn’t.

Pearl97 · 13/06/2020 18:25

@Wolfiefan. Please keep in touch. My mum rang the police at 2am telling them to get Boris Johnson. Then she called back saying someone had to go and make her a cup of tea. They then sent the paramedics who she told to f@ck off. You couldn’t make it up ...

Wolfiefan · 13/06/2020 18:27

Sounds familiar. I’m not me. The rain is them spraying her with “something”. Take care @Pearl97

Original poster
flygirl767 · 13/06/2020 19:45

[quote Pearl97]@Wolfiefan. Please keep in touch. My mum rang the police at 2am telling them to get Boris Johnson. Then she called back saying someone had to go and make her a cup of tea. They then sent the paramedics who she told to f@ck off. You couldn’t make it up ...[/quote]
@Pearl97 sorry you have been in the same situation but lockdown has definitely had an effect on DM. It was 4 weeks in (with me doing strict social distancing) that she first started showing signs of delusion. Until then, she had been forgetful and a little vague but nothing worrying. Since the end of April it has progressively got worse with her claiming to have no knowledge of COVID 19 and every day was like I had told her for the first time. She too called the police and told them she was being held against her will in a house in Birmingham (we live in Sussex) Totally denies it ever happened though! Hilarious about Boris!!
I am so glad mum is safe now and in such a lovely unit. I've taken her some treats in but she says she gets a 3 course lunch and dinner with menu choice every day-sounds good!

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Pearl97 · 13/06/2020 20:09

@flygirl767 I’m so glad your mum is being so well looked after. Is she in a mental health hospital for the elderly? I don’t know where they will send my mum. I really hope they recognise how she is acting. Some of them have just said she’s lovely, I really hope they keep her in as she’s not safe at home. Please keep in touch. I really hope we can help each other xx

Original poster
flygirl767 · 13/06/2020 20:14

[quote Pearl97]@flygirl767 I’m so glad your mum is being so well looked after. Is she in a mental health hospital for the elderly? I don’t know where they will send my mum. I really hope they recognise how she is acting. Some of them have just said she’s lovely, I really hope they keep her in as she’s not safe at home. Please keep in touch. I really hope we can help each other xx[/quote]
She is in a mental health hospital but not just for the elderly. It is a small hospital, modern and just perfect. We are so lucky she got sent here from a different Health authority area as there were no beds available in hers.

Where is your mum, still in a general ward? A MH unit is the best as they have all the right sort of health professionals in one place and are used to dealing with these kind of issues. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more

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helpfulperson · 13/06/2020 21:03

I'm glad your visit went OK. Sounds like she is doing as well as can be expected in the circumstances.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 30/06/2020 06:57

Updating on this - it is now 3 weeks since Mum was admitted and she is still there. She is being well looked after and I cannot fault the care she is receiving. I had a Skype meeting with the consultant and some of the team looking after her and they recommended she stay in for maybe another 2 weeks as they do not have a diagnosis as yet.

On admitting her, a catheter was fitted as she was retaining urine. The doctors initially thought this was the cause of the confusion along with constipation. She still has the catheter as they tried removing it once and she was still retaining urine so it had to go back in. I thought she was improving last week and she seemed more back to her normal self but this week she is just as confused as she was. Numerous phone calls per day to me and she is highly anxious being in there and doesn't really understand why she is there. Does it always take this long to diagnose? The consultant said they wanted to repeat some cognitive tests this week and it was likely it was the beginning of some form of dementia but I just feel the longer she is in there, the less she will be able to do when she goes back home. She is unable to shower or dress now without assistance which she was fully able to do until she was admitted. They are talking of moving her to respite care initially to help her get back on her feet and then carers 3 x a day at home. No way should she be at home at the moment but it does all seem to be taking an age to get any progress. They haven't even mentioned what they are going to do about the catheter, I assume she will go home with that which is another problem!

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Knotaknitter · 30/06/2020 09:42

The loss of skills after admission is common, it's one of the things that is addressed on discharge as part of the re-enablement scheme. It's what the respite care facility would do, the one mum was in had a domestic kitchen so that the occupational therapist could see how she was likely to fare at home. I had another relative return home after a three week hospital stay where food magically appearred three times a day and she'd lost the plan/shop/store/cook set of skills. They've come back, it just took time and a month or so that was mostly ready meals and a lot of support with the shopping list.

It's better that they keep her in until they know what is at the bottom of this otherwise you'll be doing this again after discharge. Yes, she's losing the skills she needs to be independant but this is really common and it will be addressed before she's discharged.

Lightuptheroom · 01/07/2020 19:10

If they do send her home with the catheter, then she'll have district nurse input. BUT please keep on at them about it as some professionals view it as an inconvenience that they would then need to get up to go to the toilet. Retaining urine and being constipated is also a side effect of many different medications

TheId · 01/07/2020 21:40

They need to figure out why she is in urinary retention. In men it's common due to enlarged prostate but in women in shouldn't be and is often temporary and due to infection or constipation which could be treated. If they think it's temporary they will try again to take it out.

Sometimes I am afraid that it is a matter of time to tell if confusion is due to delirium and will resolve or due to dementia and will not resolve. There are no tests to tell these possibilities apart except wait and see. If she's had blood tests and a CT scan to look for reversible causes and these have been treated then you just need to wait and see if she will get better.

If she really was completely fine and then it was a sudden deterioration then it is likely she'll recover. If she had actually had some memory issues before this then it's more likely there is underlying dementia.

There's no way to hurry it along or make a diagnosis quicker.

TheId · 01/07/2020 21:42

If she has taken a turn for the worse again it might be she has another infection. I am sure they will check.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 05/07/2020 14:11

Does anyone know what happens when the section 2 comes to an end? Mum's does on Tuesday, we have a meeting with the consultant, MH nurse and social worker Weds am so I guess I will find out then what the next steps are but do they renew the section if mum needs to stay longer? She still thinks there is nothing wrong with her and would be fine at home on her own with me popping in occasionally. Not a chance she will be ok with that!

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BetterCare · 05/07/2020 14:20

Dehydration or UTI or some other infection.

I know the doctor has tested but someone times the test can give incorrect results.

Definitely call an ambulance it is not too drastic. She needs rapid treatment, even if it is dehydration they can help quickly. I went through this with my Mum on more than one occasion.

Hope she is ok.

Rinsefirst · 05/07/2020 14:31

From memory I think the hospital team, the advocacy officer from the Council and the social worker sorted it between themselves after the first 28 days and rolled it over. We attended a couple of meetings but am a little hazy so others may know more.

Lightuptheroom · 05/07/2020 14:42

as Rinsefirat says, it can be extended, particularly if they need to put other care plans in place, as she may need to be moved to respite care or similar which will take time to organise

Original poster
flygirl767 · 05/07/2020 15:09

I've just read on the Mind website that a section 2 cannot be extended and they have to detain her under a section 3 if they want to treat her in hospital and she refuses.

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DorsetCamping · 05/07/2020 19:47

Really feel for you OP...my numerous threads will testify to a similar position.
DM has finally been placed in a respite nursing home following several hospital admissions. Over the last month she has become very confused, suspicious and paranoid; but because I have been unable to visit, have no idea what is going on.

Thinking of you Thanks

Original poster
flygirl767 · 07/07/2020 07:09

@DorsetCamping

Really feel for you OP...my numerous threads will testify to a similar position. DM has finally been placed in a respite nursing home following several hospital admissions. Over the last month she has become very confused, suspicious and paranoid; but because I have been unable to visit, have no idea what is going on.

Thinking of you Thanks

Thank you Dorset, yes I have read your threads and totally sympathise!

I would imagine Mum may be sent to respite care, I really can't see them discharging her to go home yet. I think she would be ok with that but she doesn't realise that I wouldn't be able to visit. At the moment, I can visit her whenever I like in the hospital grounds so that would be tough for her. I'm kind of dreading what they are going to say tomorrow but we do need to move forward with her care and treatment (if they have a diagnosis).

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Original poster
flygirl767 · 07/07/2020 11:34

So mum has been sectioned again under a section 3 which is to treat her. No idea how long she will be in and until I speak to the consultant tomorrow, I do not know what the diagnosis is.

The AMHP rang me this morning and they are telling her today she has to stay in. I had to give my permission, what a decision to have to make but there really didn't seem to be any alternative as she needs 24 hour support at the moment. I feel awful though (again)

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lockdownlunacy · 07/07/2020 12:42

I really feel for you @flygirl767. It's so difficult especially when the decline is so rapid and you're suddenly put in the position of making all the decisions on their behalf. And that's even without all the emotional turmoil.

My DM is displaying increasingly erratic and confused behaviour, her mental state has gone downhill so quickly over the last month or so.
The GP is referring her to the elderly mental health team so we can try and get some sort of diagnosis but I am just so relieved she is in a safe place.
There is absolutely no way she could be at home.

DPotter · 07/07/2020 12:54

I feel for you and your DM, - she's in the right place and her condition is being taken seriously which is all good. We had similar with a elderly family member. The good news about a section 3 is that the person is then entitled to full care support on discharge paid for by the NHS - they don't have to contribute if they have savings / house etc. It's called Section 117 .

You haven't failed your Mum at all - she's in need of assessment and care and that's what she's getting and will continue to receive.

cakeandchampagne · 07/07/2020 13:11

Thinking of you and your mum. Flowers
She needs much more care than you could possibly give her.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 07/07/2020 13:12

@DPotter I have just been reading that on a dementia website, I thought I must have read it wrong! That is great to hear as she would have been self funding.
@lockdownlunacy sorry to hear you are in a similar situation, I am still in shock as it all happened rather rapidly although looking back the signs were there.

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