Support for those who care for elderly parents - drop in as you need, everyone welcome

[CMOTDibbler]

All of us would rather not be here, but we need to be - with the people who really understand.

SugarPlum, you definitely did do the right thing in flying her to your bro - it sounds like the care is fantastic. And you have done your share.

SugarPlum, is the broken thing just a phase? Will it pass?! What comes after - just totally unaware of how things work?

Is that standard through all local authorities, regarding rebate on council tax. I have never heard of that. I think I will check it SugarPlumTree.

The council tax thing is standard Florentina - it makes quite a financial difference.

They may have got to the bottom of why dads blood glucose has been so massively high. His last appointment at the hospital they asked him to bring his pen, meter etc so they could check it all. Turns out his GP has had him on needles 3 times too long so they don't go into the skin, they go through it so the insulin isn't getting absorbed All this time he's been running at 20+ for no reason (should be 5) causing heaven only knows what damage.

Thank you. I might get onto his LA.

With my Mother she moved onto someone else doing most things for her so not so much of an issue at that point ie. When she went into a Home.

Re the Council tax it's a diagnosis of Dementia and in receipt of something like AA. Discount. If they live alone it's then a total exemption. Beware though, I dressed I did not want the paperwork going to my Mother. They managed to ignore this and she went ballistic as the wording is horrible, mentally deficient or something like that.

Oh CMOT that is crap I know things do sometimes go wrong with the pens (DH's one had the glass perforate recently so some of the dose was leaking into pen) but that is so basic and highly negligent of the GP.

CMOT How on earth did that happen?!
My DM's GP is asking for a third urine sample as the past 2 have been contaminated. Not sure how they think they are going to get that.

I have spent most of this morning ringing people and getting more confused/trying to make a plan. Have to get my ID verified to send off to solicitor to register POA and have ordered an Attendance Allowance form and spoken to some Care Homes with conflicting advice on whether she needs to be assessed first.

I have no idea, but I think he's always had this length apparently. Hoping it will make a positive difference.
The GP has decided to put mum back on insulin too and 'the district nurse will be coming' - no idea if this means they will inject her, as she refused to have them anymore ages ago. She's off all medication entirely atm, and is much the better for it in herself. The insulin, like the tablets/patches has to be dads decision though.

BTM, the urine sample issue reminds me, did I tell you about them trying to treat mums thrush with a pessary....

It should make a big difference CMOT. Urine samples were the bane of my life with my Mother. Such a relief when CH took over.

Today (currently 7pm) she has only been awake for less than half an hour today. They can't wake her up the rest of the time as she's simply not there. Distressingly she often has tears in her eyes - how would they know if she's in pain?

Just tried to book myself a mammogram as DD cheerfully started talking about double mastectomies and pretty tattoos to cover scars and friend just said I should look at getting screened but I can't till I'm 47. Which is later this year.

Oh CMOT, eeeek! I am very relieved to not be up there so can't be prevailed upon to "help" with a sample. I am no nurse! God knows how you managed, SugarPlum.

Mammograms are vile. If you are worried, surely they would be able to book you in for one?

I think I'm fine but just wanted be seen at early end of the scale so will leave it for now. We don't even know if she definitely has it.

In the NH they had something that goes under the seat to catch it. There are also some pads you can test from I think. When she was at home she basically refused to do it and there were rows !

She seemed to catch it OK, but it was contaminated apparently. I can only imagine that this has something to do with personal hygiene. Eeeeuuuuwwww!

Best not go there !!

This is going to be long so hold onto your hats.

My Monty Python sketch of a life is extending. Emailed the LA about being caught in loop regarding the GP appointment.

Received a phone call almost immediately, wonderful ......except

Can you take him to his GP. So I am thinking , but not saying ' Why phone if you have not read the email?'
Explain why I cannot take him,,so she said could he not go in a taxi.

"He could if someone could get him in and out and take him into the surgery."

Well the carers can do that.

So I said
Oh great how do I arrange that. How do I co_ordinate the appointment with people who come at random times between 8 and 6. They only get half an hour. In which time they see to his room, deal with the commode, get him a meal and do his meds. Even if this was possible the Surgery won't let me make an appointment or home visit. WHich, I am thinking to myself is the whole point of my email.

She is going to ring me back when she has spoken to the surgery

Get off the phone, open post regarding a problem with H insurance for him.
It was their mistake , I rang them about it first week in January.i have been to the branch so that the docs could be,photocopied AGAIN. Sent a letter using words of one syllable telling them everything that had been said in 2 phone calls and at the branch. I have done everything in my power tocorrect their error.

The girl,apologised but said I had to ring the branch BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO

So just like the doctors. Except this time I had had enough. I told them that I cannot ring the branch, because a) no bank lets you talk to a branch, b) house insurance is nothing to do with the branch, they sent the docs off, you have lost them, you have sent me a letter which has nothing to do with what I wrote or called about.

I said I need this to be moved up to your serious complaints department because I am not getting of the phone until this is put right.

Guess what, 5 minutes later "in view of the circumstance we will make the amendment and send you a new policy. GO ME.

IF YOU ARE STILL WITH ME. He is happy with the scooter, has had it a whole day and not broken it.

Yay for the scooter but I understand your huge feelin of frustration . I would firmly continue flipping the responsibly of getting him to the GP onto the LA to sort.

I have found out that they have a community matron, so I am going to try that route next

Good idea. Wonder if they have the same team that CMOT's parent get help from? They seem to do joined up thinking, can't remember what they are called.

Huge sympathy to you all- well done florentina, sometimes being nice does not work- how much time and energy is this taking? Well done.
SPT- I am sorry.it must be hard just waiting. Sounds like she is getting great care.
CMOT- how awful about the needles.
BTM- more challenges for you too. Here DM is doing ok- very excited by first trip ever to home and bargain today....... A lot easier than what you guys are having to manage. Much sympathy. And

The team my parents have help from is the 'Integrated Locality Team' - their brief is keeping people out of hospital, but I think they are normally active when people have been in. But if there is one in the area, well worth a try crying to them because they are the only people who have got on and just done things without just referring on, and on, and on..

Florentina and I totally get your frustration. Glad his scooter is still working!

I am wondering what my "telephone consultation" with DM's GP will do achieve tomorrow

BTM I would see it as an opportunity to enlighten the GP on your mum's true state, they may not realise what is going on. However, if they are to sign the POA application, make sure you don't paint it so bad that the GP will not want to sign that she has capacity. By the time my dad signed, it was debatable that he had capacity, but the GP was v supportive, understood that without it I'd be stuck, and signed. But not all GPs would have that attitude.

CMOT- when Dad was diagnosed there was an integrated dementia team, then 2 years in it got disbanded. I certainly noticed a difference. For example when I asked for a bath chair assessment about 2 months ago I got passed from pillar to post, the inevitable happened, Dad fell in the bath, knocked his head and deteriorated fast afterwards.

Well, I had a call this morning from DM's GP. Shortened version is that she turned up v confused, GP worried about her safety, so is alerting some service which will hopefully get her into a bed somewhere (Care Home of some sort, I think) for the foreseeable. In the next 24 hours. I am going to ring back shortly to see if there's an update

She set up an Enduring POA about 10 years ago, so I am registering it now she has lost capacity.

I'm sorry BTM Really hard but try to focus on face she will be safe, then you can look at the long term a bit more. US GP on side helps a lot.

Just thinking about the integrated team, we have the reablement team who usually are for post admission but came to see my Mother. So same thing different name I think ? Plus we had the 'Tracker' nurse at the surgery whose job it is to keep eye on vulnerable patients with view to preventing hospital admission. It seems that there isn't a lot of consistency across various regions though.

'The GP on side'

Well, it looks like it's not in 24hours, but soon. GP is being lovely, but I have to wait for someone to call me and let me know what is happening - DM is at home. It's called the Alternative 2 Hospital Team, I think. GP mentioned Social Services - will they step in even though she has enough money to be self-funding?