Does anyone privately educate one child and not the others?

[pigsinmud]

Dh & I are considering a private school for ds2 in yr 7. He's currently in yr5. Ds1 has just started at local comp. That sounds awful on paper I know! Ds2 is a quirky chap and we just can't see him at ds1's school which has a 240 intake - he'd get swallowed up. Ds1 would not have wanted to go to this private school as he would have known no-one and would have hated that. Ds2 will be fine knowing no-one.

We have 4 children and intended for them all to be state educated - we don't have much money to spare. We would struggle to put one through private school if it wasn't for the fact that dh works there and we won't pay full fees, plus head mentioned possibility of bursary on top.

We haven't mentioned it to the boys yet. Personally I think ds1 will be fine with it, but don't want him to feel that we value ds2 more or anything just because we pay for schooling for ds2.

I won't go into detailed reasons behind this - I just want to know if it's really crap of us!! My mil would think it totally unfair.

Thanks for your views.

Comp is a good comp with great academic results. The private school has very similar results, so I don't think ds1 is losing out at all. So yayitstheweekend they are not opposites, but as you say they just have different strengths.

We can afford it with the teacher reduction in fees. We don't have big holidays anyway - just camping - so the family won't be missing out on things.

We have been trying to justify it by comparing to one child going to uni and us financially supporting them and the other not going and therefore wouldn't get the equivalent money spent on them. Ok I know that's a choice issue and we didn't give ds1 the choice of going private.

We would not consider it if ds1's comp was dire and the private school was top notch. I am going to float the idea with them tonight - partly because dh is taking them to a show at this school and is worried head might mention it to them!