"Mumsnet hate private schools"

[Swedington]

I read this in the newspaper recently. (I think maybe it was a quote of Justine's.)

I know there are some posters who are to Mumsnet what Bob Crow is to the London Underground (hope you saw him on HIGNFY), but I don't think there is a huge anti private school thing going on here is there?

lets hope it isn't a BOGOF offer

I think there are disproportionately more private school users on Mumsnet than in real life. But the press say Mumsnet "hates private school" (Valentine Low). The press have this idea that Mumsnet is something it isn't and tbh I dislike the way it's represented in the media, especially recently.

must go to bed.

My youngest has just left prep school to go to a state school, near to a very good grammar in the hope of passing the 11+.... does this make me despicable? I'm really not very well off... does that make our choices worse or more palatable to those who would judge?
It depends on your priorities IMO... there are children at my (state) school who's parents have a lot more ready cash than my family, but they have different (better???) holidays than us, dress very well, drive newer cars and go out more. None of those things are important to me, but education is. I have DD at a special school ( doing really well), DS2 at a state primary having just come from a private school and DS1 at uni.
What is wrong with that?

I don't hate private schools.

But I do hate the fact that a decent education (and all the advantages that go with that) for a child should be dependent on their parents' income.

Most children do get a decent education, but some don't, whereas all children whose parents can afford to pay, do get a decent education, which I don't think is particularly fair or right.

I have to get back to my work and really don;t want to get into a debate.

But just because you don't pay for your education it does not mean you don't care. I don't pay for my dd education and believe that I make that decision precisely because I do care about education, I also teach, a job that monopolises my life - so again I think I care.

Paying/not paying is not about prioritising education.

I can see where you're coming from with that selective, however a lot of teachers and support staff within the state education system that really care about educating the children in their care. The main obstacle in many cases are the parents.
I think if all of the parents who had children in state schools had parents who were as pro active as parents who educated their children privately, the differences wouldn't be nearly so evident.
It's a real shame but school cannot bring children up, there needs to be a partnership.
Where parents have invested, this is more noticable.
On a recent trip to Romania, this was particularly evident... education is not taken for granted or treated as free child care there, but as a way of bettering ones chances in life.

I think caring is looking for the right school for your child... state, private... whatever is available in your area.

So if you are not able to make choices do you not care?

6 terms a year at £1300 yes. I paid a lot more than that for nursery, but was thankfully helped by tax credits. I wouldn't have got it for the school, plus it meant relocating to where there are few jobs and low wages, so my salary would have been roughly halved.

Plus, that was only reception. It goes up with each year group, plus fees go up each year anyway. By Year 6 it was about £1700 per term I think?

I wanted DS there that much that I drove the 6hrs up there to visit it, and nearly danced when the Head assessed DS and offered him a place there and then (although if it was more for the money or him I know not )

Also, I may stand corrected about my perceptions of anti:pro - I am not often on the Education boards so actually only really see opinions in Chat and AIBU.....

vengefulkitty, but there are only 3 terms in a school year. Surely that school you refer to doesn't charge its fees half-termly?
still sounds pretty cheap compared to some

If anything Mumsnet is very pro private schools, simply by virtue of the very large numbers that seem to use them (compared to the general population).

I do object to this idea that "mumsnet" is somehow an entity in itself, that has its own thoughts and ideas. It is a collective of a vast number of people with very differing ideas, which, if anyone in the meeja had paid any real attention to the Education threads, show up quite clearly in regular huge bunfights healthy discussion between people on BOTH sides, i.e. anti AND pro private education.

How do you measure that there are more private school parents here than in real life?

Just because there are more private school parents on private school bashing threads, it doesn't mean this is a representative sample of mumnetters.

On any given thread, you have a self-selecting group of contributers. Most state school users do not contribute to private school bashing threads because they have no interest in the thread title to want to open it, or do not have the knowledge or experience to make a contribution, or feel that the discussion is relevent to them at all. It doesn't mean that those people do not exist.

Fortunately, what also doesn't exist to the same extent in real life is that people who hate other people's choices and want to abolish things that are not relevent to their lives.

There probably appear to be more cloth nappy users, washable sanpro users, and chicken keepers here than in real life, but it probably isn't true if you were genuinely able to poll every mumsnetter.

thumbwitch - "I do object to this idea that "mumsnet" is somehow an entity in itself".

I agree and also agree with this from Swedington.

"The press have this idea that Mumsnet is something it isn't and tbh I dislike the way it's represented in the media, especially recently."

I am not refering to any particular journalist, artcle or even media outlet but the general media exposure of MN needs to be handled carefully or its image and its potential for positive influence could be damaged. The last thing MN needs is to be presented as either 'left' or 'right' leaning or allow itself to be hijacked or appear to have been hijacked by one or other political party or point of view.

dont know if mumsnet is anti private school. it helped me decide to take the plunge and move my dd to private from state, an agonising decision.

before my dd was diagnosed at 11 with dyslexia and assessed at being beyond the top of the scale for cognitive ability i had never considered private education or thought about it much.

however my experience is that my childs learning disability went un recognised by both "outstanding" lower and middle schools. when i paid for a diagnosis i was made out to be paranoid and told that she would not be placed on school action, would not be given any extra help until they had assessed her and this funnily enough could take the best part of the remaining 2 years she was in middle school.

i am grateful,that i could take the option to go back to work full time, had the support of my oldest child who understands the sacrifices we are all making to send dd2 to private school.

but it is crapola that this was realistically the only choice i had. I am hoping to send her back to state upper school in year 9 which is far better.

after my experience i have learned not to be judgey on others, until you are there you do not know what you would do.

Wasn't there a survey or something once that did actually identify that there were more people with children on mumsnet than in RL? I would make sense - there are also, I would gues, more socio-economic group A/Bs on here than in RL more or less by definition.

My position is that I object very strongly to bought privilege and to anything that perpetuates social division. This is a philosophical and political position, and is not intended as an attack on individuals.

I also think people should be clear-sighted and honest about their choices. It irks me when people try to assert that their private school represents all social classes and financial situations.

It also irks me when people suggest that only people who follow a particular path value their children and their education, and that everybody could follow that path if they wanted to and tried hard enough. It seems to me that private school parents and home educators, both on here and in RL are particularly guilty of this one.

I don't hate Private schools, in fact if my DS's don't pass the 11+ to go to the excellent Grammar school, they'll be going private.
DS1 is currently at a State Catholic Primary school.

I think I've covered every angle there

FWIW the thing that riles me is when certain posters who have educated their DC privately bang on about how awful all state education is (not every school is failing on a sink estate fgs) and how the only way to get ahead in life is to attend a fee paying school.

An excellent post thumbwitch.

Any education topic gets heated exchanges on both sides. If someone posts expecting agreement,they are sadly disappointed! In some cases they take umbrage!
It isn't just private v state. If you try discussing the virtues of schools on HE threads it takes about 4 posts before you are told that you shouldn't be posting! I would say that selective v non selective is far more contentious than either.

Seeker is quite right in that most people have no choice-they have to use state comprehensives and make the best of them. I am just as guilty, I extol the virtue of comprehensive education but I am conscious that I have 'bought' my way into an area with good schools.

HEers will insist that anyone can do it-you can be depressed and do it, you can work part time and do it,you can leave them with child minders and still do it, your DCs can want to go to school and you can still do it, your DCs can refuse to do anything but play computer games and you can still do it (and be better than schools).

Those that educate privately insist that if people do without luxuries they can afford to 'put their DC first'-ignoring the fact that they can't afford luxuries in the first place.

Those who say that grammar schools are a wonderful way out for the disadvantaged DC, manage to ignore the fact that they would use a tutor to claw the place away from the bright DC who has no help from parents and won't even see a practise paper.

I don't think that mumsnet could make a collective statement on anything to do with education! It certainly doesn't 'hate private education'.

"My position is that I object very strongly to bought privilege and to anything that perpetuates social division. This is a philosophical and political position, and is not intended as an attack on individuals."

Gosh, seeker, that is a very fierce position.

So you would never buy extra-curricular activities of any description for your DCs? You would be careful not to buy too many books, preferring library books that are available to all? You would only let your DCs watch TV that is freely available? Etc

I don't think my son is more likely to be Prime Minister because he goes to trampolining lessons and watches Sky Sport.

His chances would be much greater if he went to Eton, though!

Of course his chances in life are greater if he goes to extra-curricular activities and watches sport on the TV than if he doesn't have access to those things. Do you really think that they aren't?

Even Eton is a great improvement these days and you can't get your DS down at birth. It takes the best-therefore you can't simply buy into it,(although it takes the 'best education' to get there and the fees are prohibitive for most). I have had a tour around it and there is a fantastic sense of history, so I would be very sad to see it go.