Homosexuality in the Classroom.

[Darcey1]

My daughter is nine. Yesterday she came home from school and said that her teacher had told the class that she was a lesbian. The teacher is about to have one of these civil partnerships and according to my daughter told the class that girls could marry girls and boys could marry boys if they wanted to.It was according to her entirely natural. This seems like corruption to me. I don't want my daughter exposed to this kind of lifestyle.

I am very upset about this and don't know what to do. Am I over reacting? Should the school have warned us that the teacher was going to do this? Do you think I should make a complaint to the school?

"i'm pretty sure most homosexuals could live just as happily in hetro relationships."

That is quite possibly the most absurd comment I've seen for a very long time.

DP, I'm not having a go, just asking for information.... WHY do you think that homosexuality is a choice? When I was in my teens & realised that I preferred women, it wasn't a choice. It was a realisation.

The choice, if anything, came in deciding to accept who I was and to pursue it, Irish-Italian Catholic family notwithstanding, instead of either staying alone or acting out some hetero charade that would be completely unfair on me, the man & any children.

As for "promoting" homosexuality in the classroom - it's not just about the age of gay awareness.
The class bully and her cronies teased DD about having two mums. The teacher immediately made it clear that the teasing was unacceptable and that families with two mums (or two dads, or one of each, or just one) were all equally valid. THAT is why gay families need to be accepted & affirmed in the classroom from the start. It's not "promoting" anything. It's telling our DD that her family is just as good as everyone else's.

That was the same teacher who, when giving the kids daffodils for their mums on Mother's Day, made sure DD had two :-)

I don't believe this choice thing at all. If that were so, I could choose to fall in love with a woman- I certainly can't! Sex does limit my choice in partners, because I personally cannot feel the same physical attraction to a woman, and physical attraction is part of marriage.

But that does not mean that the sum total of my love for my husband is sex and that therefore I should not be able to refer to my wedding day because everybody will know I'm only talking about bonking and innocent little children should be spared that. Hell, we invited small children to actually attend the wedding- didn't realise it was all about filling their tiny mind with salacious thoughts

My love for dh is about hundreds of things: sex is one of them, but so is personality and shared interests and a commitment to each other's wellbeing and a general desire to spend our lives together and be each other's main support.

Innocent little children will hopefully know that there is more about marriage than sheer reproduction and have some understanding of things like love and caring: I don't see why that shouldn't translate equally well to a lesbian marriage.

EXACTLY Cory!

Rafi...

hi

glad everything worked out well for you...

relationships.....all very complex arn't they.

i like boring normality.

DP, of course ALL of us can LOVE someone of the same sex or the opposite sex, but most people choose to marry someone they love AND fancy. So, yes, the fancying bit is the difference, perhaps between the sexualities. But exactly as you say you could not fancy or have sex with another woman, because ity simply isn't you to feel sexualy attracted to women, so many women find they simply cannot find themselves sexually attracted to men.

And all the research into sexuality strongly suggests that it is innate and NOT a choice. There is endless testimony from people who have put themselves through the 'cure' programs available through christian churches in the U.S, and they have found that a) it didn't work and b) it has messed them up v badly.

SO, you are focussing on the sex part of the relationship, ut most of us do not immediately envisage what sort of sexual activity a couple share when we hear that they are about to celebrate their love and settle down over a shared toaster. Nor do most of us start talking about the sexual side when we tell 9 yos that someone will be getting married. You however seem to have it at the frint of your mind.

Hoosexuality does no one any harm whatsoever. It is (as far as any gay person will tell you, and backed up by research) innate and not a lifestyle choice. It may be unfamiliar to some people, but that's thier and your problem,imo - not a reason to treat gay people and thoer relationships any different to how you would treat straight pople. Including talking of their closest relationships as a taboo subject not suitable fo children. It's discriminatory, pure and simple.

keep ALL talk of adult relationships / marriage away from children, or talk about it all equally. Otherwise, soory, but in some small (or bigger way) you are contributing to prejudice and discrimination.

An elderly (unmarried) lady of my acquaintance once told me that homosexuality ought to be banned as it was so disgusting to imagine what gays were doing in bed. I pointed out that I thought it pretty disgusting to imagine what your average middle-aged, fat, less-than-physically attractive couple do in bed, but that I did not think this was adequate grounds for banning middle-aged marriages, as there is always another option available, viz. keeping my thoughts away from other people's sex lives.

Ooh, it would be REALLY disgusting to imagine what I get up to in bed, Cory, Middle England could be wiped out in one short fantasy!

when i meet married (hetrosexual) people i don't think about what they do in bed....

if i met a woman at a party and she said... "oh, btw...have you met my wife"...
i swear i would probably faint....it is that bad for me.

LG...you are too cool..

i don't know how you put up with me..

have you checked FF lately ? told you i play to win.....ha ha

i went to the christmas meet-up last Saturday....it was good to meet some people from here....one person (who shall forever remain nameless) asked me why i stick around on MN...y'know all the abuse i take..and wouldn't i be happier chatting with people who thought exactly the same way i did...
(she was very nice...just curious)...

talking with people who agree with everything i say would get boring after a week, to me life is about meeting people you have nothing in common with but can learn something from....maybe we are learning from each other LG....

really am running now....late for school again..!

"scarletlilybug - the things you mentioned are illegal and involve issues around consent and abuse. Not the same thing at all."

I didn't say they (homosexuality versus paedophilia ) were the same at all.

My argument is that the assertion that you can't disagree with something "because it is part of a person's being" doesn't wash. In fact, the very fact that paedophilia is illegal supports my point rather than disproves it.

Some All people have aspects of their personality or character or "intrinsic being" that are not of their choosing. That doesn't mean we - either as individuals, or as a society - have to "agree with" these outward expression of their "intrinsic being".

You can't disagree with it it doesn't make sense what you are doing is disapproving.It is like saying you disagree with freckles they are a genetic biological fact and whilst you may not like them agree is the wrong word here

dp

cory;

it's difficult for me to explain....

i can see how people can love someone of the same sex, i'm sure i could love another woman for her personality and how she makes me feel.....but that love would never make me want to have sex with her..loving someone of the same sex doesn't mean i'm a lesbian.

to me, homosexuality is about sex.....100%.

i said it before, you can't help being black or disabled....you don't have to be homosexual...it's a choice you make.

i'm pretty sure most homosexuals could live just as happily in hetro relationships.

when i said i didn't want my 9 yr old "exposed" to homosexuality...that wasn't meant as an insult...he is too young to understand about normal relationships let alone gay ones....give him a bloody chance.

/dp

Ok, lets deconstruct this from the beginning.

If homosexuality is about sex why isn't heterosexuality?

These people seem very happy being forced to be straight:

www.alternet.org/rights/22280/

www.webdiva.org/straight/

They were just the first couple that came up through Google - there are many more.

Your son is 'exposed' to all sorts of relationships every day, if you don't explain about relationships to him he'll find out himself through other channels.

By the way I'm still waiting for a reply for the other stuff you said you come back to me on.

PatientTiggaxx

Hester, my pov has been that no teacher should broach the subject of their personal lives with their students. Perhaps a bit unworkable, but on principle fair to all. I am strongly in favour of all female teachers using 'Ms' instead of Miss or Mrs. I am not 'against' lesbians, which is as ridiculous as being 'against' red hair or fixed earlobes.

It's a pity this discussion became a pro or anti gay slagfest, because I think it was about who has a right to tell a child a part of the 'facts of life' and when, and whether a school owes parents a heads up if any part of said 'facts' will be brought up in class by a teacher of 9 year olds. You can disagree with the judgement of the teacher or with the policy of the school on this matter without being prejudiced against LGBT people.

"i'm pretty sure most homosexuals could live just as happily in hetro relationships." DP, a marriage is ideally about mutual and total and comprehensive affirmation of what is innate and unique in each partner. When a gay man marries a straight woman, for instance, this absolutely cannot happen. Neither of the people involved can ever give the other what they need; no matter how nice each person is or how well they get along there will always be something vital missing.