Why don't most parents get involved in their children's schools?

[zebraX]

Recent travel survey for my son's school -- 30% reply rate by parents.

"Help us identify your child's talents?" survey at same school, 25% response rate (so far).

Latest preschool committee meeting -- 4 commmittee members, plus committee officers turned up (80 children attend the preschool). Which is pretty good compared to

8 people at Friends of the School meeting last night (~300 children at the school), planning FunFair events. They have at least 20 events on, all of them designed to require low staffing levels, due to lack of parental support.

WHY DON'T MORE PARENTS GET INVOLVED, at least reply to surveys designed to help their school and their child's education, help out with fund-raising events???? I just don't understand. I know some people have legit excuses, but do 75-99% of the parents have good reasons for not helping out???

The PTA had to raise ££ for a Zebra Crossiing outside a school?

Soop, I believe that statistic about kids doing better in the long run, but that's not because parent's help out in the school - it's because they've got motivated, active parents who are involved in their education, hence they're more likely to help out in the school - the cause and effect is the other way round, IYSWIM.

agree with blu re wohm parents and flexibility - spot on.

I participate in working with ds on his homework, fill in forms and questionaires whenever they are sent, send him money whenever there is some sort of charity event, that sort of thing.

However I am loathe to volunteer my services, partly becos I have no idea how much commitment that would entail. I work part-time so day-time commitments would be difficult, and want to be able to spend after-school time with ds and dh, rather than attending committee meetings etc.
Secondly I have to say that the headteacher has an 'unfortunate attitude', which gets my back up a bit. I don't know if I could work with her.

Do feel a bit guilty about not getting further involved tho'

If i as a parent could get involved in the "nitty gritty" of my child's education then i would get more involved. My child isnt in school yet, but it is quite obvious that parents and their pocketbooks serve a purpose. Fair enough. I wouldnt mind contributing for a new library or some such. But if they want my precious time and money, they should also want my opinion on how the school is run, and what the curriculum is and will be. I doubt they put questions like that in the questionnaires. Like i said, parent "involvement" in schools is a pacifier, to keep us thinking we are "involved" when really its only about money. Volunteering at a school a a parent, is like volunteering at a hospital with no clinical training. There is only so far you can go, even if you want to.

Sobernow, i was very sceptical about the idea of cliques as well, until I actually trundled along to one of these occasions where we were all to help out, and as I mentioned, I was literally ignored. Not even hello. While they all carried on chatting among themselves. And no instructions as to what to do. No welcome whatsoever. Now I'm a tough sort, so I just asked "OK, so what are we going to be doing with this?" And the answer was... silence. I kid you not. I was absolutely gobsmacked.

It was only when the teacher (armed with some basic communication skills) walked in that we were actually told what to do.

Is it a clique? I don't know. I don't care.

I haven't read all this thread, but I think the difference between a clique and "the same faces every time" is whether non-members of the group are bad-mouthed within the clique. The danger then of being seen as a member of the clique is that people will assume that you agree with the bad-mouthing of non-members.

"The same faces every time" may be a fluid group based on a set of stalwarts, but which genuinely welcomes contributions from others.

IME a good headteacher and/or a competent set of governors can dissipate a clique and make a PTA genuinely open to all. An incompetent head or governing body may prefer to have a PTA clique which they can manipulate.

Sorry if this all sounds v conspiratorial - just speaking from experience.

What made me larf, was that we needed a teacher to come in and make us work together!

sobernow

Infinitely superior to Robbie's version!

As a teacher what I would like from parental involvement if for them to take an active interest in their child's progress in the school.

To attend parents evenings if this is possible, if not, to try and arange a phone call to discuss any probelms would be just as good.

To go through their childre home work diary on a regular basis and do the odd spot check that homework is being done.

To take a shufti at their childrens work now and then and discuss with the child how and why targets should be met.....I have lost count of the times I have made coments an books just to have them ignored over and over again. If the parents could support the child that would be a huge help.

To contact the school if they are worried about their child's progress. It is a two way thing.

All of this would do so much for the child's progess and as an added bonus would also help to make my life a bit easier!

ha ha, this thread gets funnier and funnier!

ks and sobernow, take a bow

Do cliques exist? an interesting question. I've heard the 'same old faces doing all the work' argument. Agree with tiddlypom that it's when a PTA start badmouthing those outside that trouble begins.

I've had a similar experience to you, Caligula - turned up at someone's house to fancy wrap gifts for a christmas craft fair, asked general very neutral specific questions and been ignored, when at least six other mothers were in earshot and not involved in any other conversation. Any time I spoke to the group, there was a distinct silence before I got any reply - I kept plugging away, but it was hard work!

As for the gifts - it took about a dozen mothers most of the school day to wrap them in ribbons, celephane and bows. There were about 40 gifts in all many rather horrible. Most were priced at around £5.00. At least 10 gifts never found a buyer on the big day. So, grand total for that days labour from 12 people - about £150.00 absolute maximum, minus the cost of the gift wrapping materials.

Cliques? well, on that day, I found out our PTA had split into two rival factions, one group was totally no grata when it came to the christmas fair preparations. Why? no one would say!

Worse than that, a year or so later, a big rift developed between the church community and the head of the PTA - tears all round, vicar called in to mediate. That was the last PTA meeting I attended.

meant to add, there is one thing I find very disarming about our particular PTA - one of the leaders seems to be very good friends with a couple of the senior teachers. At school events, they are often seen chatting together - very pally, lots of nudges and winks. I realise that active PTA members are likely to know teachers well, but I do wonder what topics this group finds so interesting to talk about. I hope professional distance is maintained. I realise this is just my PTA, not a general thing, but tbh, I find the closeness rather offputting.

KS and sobernow, those are f*ing brilliant lyrics!!

Now you've made me paranoid about being cliquey, Tigermoth, though it's pretty hard to be cliquey in a two class school. I talked to dd1's previous teacher (she has now moved away) almost every day as she saw the children off home. And our topics of conversation? Our respective errant dogs and cats, with occasional mentions of our even-more-errant teenage dd's. Nothing more and nothing less. I can't believe people would consider that as cliquey

ah, but I bet your conversation with the teacher was an open one - if someone else wandered over to join you, you would have welcomed them? In the case I'm talking about, it's the body language - the group really form a huddle and whisper and snigger (sorry but they do!).

Yes, tis true that other people would join in with their gruesome doggy stories!

Whispering, sniggering etc is very childish behaviour - the sort of thing people would be most indignant about if it were to happen to their children.

at the school I was involved with some parents did the following things to help - maybe a list will help to encourage other parents to get involved. Obviously no-one did all these things.

Fete activities for busy people

Take helpers drinks around. This can be done when you have a spare moment so you aren't tied up all afternoon.

Sell raffle tickets/ collect entrance fees if you have them. This has to close before the end of the fete so you spend less time than on one of the stalls

Do "pick a pocket". This is a skirt with pockets and a lucky dip type gift in each. You can wander round with your kids while still making a little money.

Sweets in a jar/ whisky raffle/ guess the name of the toy. Again an activity where you can wander round.

Supplied strawberries at cost price to sell at fete

Made friendship bracelets/ fridge magnets/ scrunchies/ cards/ wreaths at Christmas/ sprayed dried flowers. Some done in groups, some by individuals at home.

Fund raising

Arrange a 70s/80s/90s disco at a local hotel. Get the hotel owner to provide the bar but sell tickets for event.

Quiz nights. I'm the weakest link so not my idea of fun but about 80/100 people used to have a great time with a mix of serious and very silly questions.

Barbecues and picnics. One PTA committee got very hung up about food poisoning then the chair changed No-one has been poisoned and people continue to attend despite appalling weather.

Promises auction. Promises have included anything from a week in a holiday cottage to an hours woodchopping, home meade birthdaycake or free babysitting.

Other things parents have done

Run in the London marathon

Donated end rolls of newsprint to save the school money on drawing paper (check they can use it first).

Donated out grown computer games/ books (again check with head first)/ a clock/ pictures