private school - is anyone going to put their hands up and admit

[HerHonesty]

that one of the reasons why they are sending their children to private school is because they dont want DCs mixing with chavs/plebs?.

Wilmslow

It's life Jim, but not as we know it

Which isnt Wilmslow or Dorset or both?

actually perhaps its more than whether its typical, its also about whether we can bear to let our children get along side the most deprived, disadvantaged or disruptive children. Or whether we turn our backs and encourage our children to too by buying them out.

Wilmslow! It's just one big bubble in fact. I'd never seen so many cars that cost upwards of 50k until we moved here.And I'm from Surrey!

(BTW TwinsetandPearls I'd already rumbled Lucia39 on another thread, she got quite nasty with me....)

myredcardigan - not sure; I think only pne out of DH and his partners is also married to a teacher, but sh doesn't work now I don't think.

(BTW TwinsetandPearls I'd already rumbled Lucia39 on another thread, she got quite nasty with me....)

Ooops

bigTillyMint - I don't know, but I hope I am bringing DD up to be able to communicate with and be comfortable with a wide range of peope from many backgrounds, o that despite her priavte school education she will still be find in "the real world" whatever that is.

How many Mumsnet posters can afford the 14K p.a.per child fees that the private schools in our area charge?

We are in theory, (since last year) in the top 5% earnings bracket , but DH is self employed and we live from month to month. We live in rented accommodation, don't have a car or take foreign holdays. We have no pensions or life insurance, and our savings would keep us for approx. 6 months.

I doubt if many Mumsnetters who have chosen private education for their children will have been motivated by "social engineering" because I believe that on the whole, we are an intelligent and thoughtful bunch of wimmin! .

I know a lot of people in RL who are quite open about it though. TBH, in North London, their main concern is keeping their offspring away from children who are, er, "ethnically different".

It never ceases to amaze me how many folk, when talking to someone who is white and and speaks good RP ( will confide the most appalling prejudices on the assumption that you will share their values.

I would love DS to go to private school. He is quiet, geeky and bookish, and would benefit from small classes because he is a plodder, not an academic high-flyer. He would never have passed the exams for the local (all selective) independent schools , far less a grammar school. DS is a shy only child, and most of his friends from primary all went to his comp.

I costs us a LOT, however, in private tuition fees and time re. parental input into his schoolwork. I've always worked part-time so I can be there when he gets in to help with homework and /or after a bad day's bullying. We spend a huge amount of time and money involving him in outside activities more suited to his tastes and abilities than are offered at his sporty all-boys school.

It costs DS a lot too, in poor self esteem and teasing. And being afraid of angry violent kids at school. I've posted at great length elsewhere on Mumsnet about DH's probs. at school, so I won't re-cap them here.

Decisions re. state v. private schools are never straightforward, even for concerned so-called MC parents.

Also - my DD doesn't just go to school to meet and mix with people. She also goes to other activities (drama, swimming, Brownies) in other parts of the city and mixes with children from different schools, state and private. Oh, and then she mixes with famly and family friends. So far she seems perectly capable of mixing and socialising with pretty much anyone - hope that I am able to show her this is the right way forward in the coming years.

MrsFlittersnoop - we pay nowhere near £14k a year for priavte education here in Sheffield

Quite a few Mumsnetters can afford to send at least one child to private schools. I send five!

If a mum is working and used to paying for a nursery or nanny, then school fees aren't a huge shock.

Many women would be a SAHM if it were not for school fees. They, like me, make the choice to work so that their children can be privately educated. I know that if my children were in state schools, I would not work and would go out to lunch everyday.

You sound like you're doing a fine job, Mrsflittersnoop.

Re the prejudice. You wouldn't believe how many people assume I'm the posh mc one and DH is the one from the council estate simply because I'm from Surrey and he is Scottish! There's always stunned silence when they realise it's the other way around.

What also pees me off is the number or people who say to him, 'whaaat was that? Can't understand you with your bad accent.' All the while laughing and being completely unaware that his pronunciation is perfect while they sound like steptoe.

yes. sorry, twinset, exactly what i meant.

Thanks bagsforlfe I did feel a little bit on my own with lucia, and kept thinking in a moment a rational mumsnetter is going to arriveand help me out, but you miserable lot you left me to it. Very bizarre

Well I am nowhere near as knowledgeable as you on that subject (well, not knowledgeable at all...) so I thought it would just make it worse if I joined in. Sorry.

No apparantly I googled it all

I would have helped but my eyes started to glaze over

I think there's something fishy with the OP of this thread too.

Thanks ST Being a catholic I could have put a good word in with St Pater for you, but that is it, you will be waiting at those pearly gates! [

No-one I know could afford to pay £14 per child school fees.

However the dc's school is currently between £6-7k per child which is a lot more affordable especially if you only have 1 child.

Of course fees are an impossibilty for many people but I think more people could afford it that they think. The school dd was signed up for had starting fees for prep of about £6K and 14K for KS4 and around 20K for boarders. We had money from grandparents for secondary fees put away and could manage the others from our above average but not remarkable wages living modestly. I suspect tbh that by the time dd got to the upper school we would have been able to pay the day fees. It is no longer the case that only the very rich can afford school fees as more "ordinary" people are making the cut backs needed. Whether that is a goo thing or not I don't know.

I asked dp why he wanted dd to go to a fee paying school, he is brutally honest. He said he waned a better more rounded eduation that was not league table focussed. He wanted dd schooling to be a special experience and to feel proud in a way he never did.

Our secondary fees in two different Exeter schools are £3100/term (£9300/year), minus sibling discount of 10% for two of them. This is about right for Devon, which is a very low wage area- quite a lot of parents at both schools would not be able to afford them if they were any higher. One school has a very effective bursary system, which has been a real help for the very bright girl of some friends of ours who are probably on a joint family income of £20,000. And, no her local comprehensive school would emphatically not have met her educational needs, and her primary school could no longer cope with them by year 5.

As for us, my MIL pays one set, my wages + a bond pay the other two. It's not easy, and god knows we might actually be able to go on holiday if we didn't pay school fees, but we think it's worth it.