private school - is anyone going to put their hands up and admit

[HerHonesty]

that one of the reasons why they are sending their children to private school is because they dont want DCs mixing with chavs/plebs?.

My ds is at the state comprehensive which is excellent ahd has amazing facilities and opportunities.We moved to a house a few years ago to specifically get him into the school.But like you say the houses clos to the school are currently about 20x the average local salary at least so the mix is not really representative of the city in general.

Of course some people move to live near the 'better' comprehensives etc. And the poor and disadvantaged get pushed further down the line to schools where no-one else wants to go to.

However, the OP was asking whether anyone will admit to sending their child to a private school to avoid 'chavs/plebs'. You could equally ask the same question to people who move to live near 'good' comprehensives and those who send their DCs to grammar schools.

I wonder where the OP is? Gone to start another thread somewhere else I expect to get us all going.

My dd state primary was very socially mixed except in terms of ethinicity. Her previous primary Her previous state primary was also very mixed, but again not in terms of ethnicity. I suspect that there are few very rich kids at dd current primary because of the abundance of good private/public schools and the fact it is Tory Heartland here.

She was due to start at a boarding school up north, but was going to go as a day pupil for a few years. As she never went my knowledge was limited but we did go to a few functions there and we had quite a few friends with children there. It was less of a social mix than dd primary but there were students there from all over the world. In terms of secondary though I would say it was more socially mixed that the secondary school I taught in.

The state secondary I teach in is about 2/3 very comfortable middle class familes, with a few farmers and kids from the council estates thrown in. The school has a very middle class guardian reading type feel to it, ( we get a lot of kids who choose us over the grammar for example which tells you something about our "clientele") The working class kids do struggle a little with the ethos of the school and feel that they are being pushed out. Especially since our new buildings and some tightening up of rules.

my ds's state secondary is very mixed. Over half free school meals and english as a second language. I'm sure most of you would leave the country rather than send your dc's there but a) I don't believe in segregating children through private schools, b)I'd have had to rely on family handouts to pay the fees and c) despite how it appears on first impressions it is a good enough school- vibrant, stimulating and socially very mixed. Personally I don't agree with grammar schools either but hope that seeker comes back because it all got a bit personal towards her and I like her arguments!

There are many advantages to private school.

One of the disadvantages is that the children exist in a bubble that does not represent the real world.

Although even if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't choose private so b was kind of urrelevant.

irrelevant even- god can you spot my private education!

But state schools can be a bubble that does not represent the real world. I have taught in a poor state school that does not represent the real world and a very good state school that in a different way does not represent the real world

Agree twinset. I worked in a top of the league Derbyshire secondary school and it was more of an isolated middle class bubble than the private schools I know. It's catchment and it's strong stance of discipline and toeing the line contributed, as did exceptionally high parental support.

Fair points T&P.
I suppose that the reality is that an educational environment is not representative of the environments many people will experience in work or life after education.

It is still a reason why the OP is barking.

What is the 'real world'?

As you rightly say twinset, a poor state school is no more of a reflection of the average than an outstanding one.

I suppose ultimately what sits uneasily with me about private schools (speaking here as a parent who uses both state and private) is that any system which caters for such a narrow section of society (ie around 7%) is inevitably going to be a bubble. And as most adults will hopefully be able to function successfully in a a broad range of situations, it's probably helpful to have had a broader experience of life.

I am not fervently anti-private though, as long as people are aware of what they are buying - ie: it's NOT better teaching or cleverer children

I quite like Xenia actually, because at least she's always honest about what she's buying - she likes the school lake, the parents' choir and she thinks the dads are hotter!

yes but by paying for education you are definately having segregated education because only those that can afford to go can. Obviously all state schools in different parts of the country are different and reflect their local community primarily but this is clearly not nearly as exclusive and excluding and so less of a 'bubble'.

Yes the state school I worked at was a little like having to pay anyway - the price of houses in the catchment areas definitely were out o many people's budgets. And people did buy their way in - by ensuring they were in that catchmnet area - and being prepared to pay what it took to get in the catchment.

You should have heard and seen the absolute uproar when there were plans to change the catchment area!

I have taught in a state school that was almost a total ghetto of underachievement and child neglect. But you are right in that there are more private schools which are only open to a certain section of society than state schools like the one I taught in. Some pupils do of course get in to private schools using scholars and bursaries.

I am not here to defend the private system as a hairy socialist who has feels very uneasy around money I was very relieved when we moved and so could no longer send dd to a private school.

But don't parents who send their DC to private school hope that they never have to live or work in the "real world"? Most educated people work in jobs and live in areas where they never have to come into close social contact with the people their parents were hoping to save them from. Lawyers, bankers, hedge-funders, research scientists, etc only really ever meet other high earners/aceivers anyway. Unless they go into some kind of vocational work where they do come into contact with people from a different social group.

Similarly, the people who were not sent to private schools do not really come into contact with those who were.

So really, the parents who send their DC to private school are preparing them for a world which will be their real world, innit?

But don't parents who send their DC to private school hope that they never have to live or work in the "real world"?

Nonsense, sorry but IMO this is so not the case!

I was a teacher, then worked in a high cat male prison and now work as a TA in an infant school. In the time DD has been either on the list for private school or in provate school I have certainly come across more "real life" than a lot of state shool parents on this site. My own family include a wide range of people from a range of social backgrounds.

DH is a solicitor and his clinets include a wide range of social backgrounds also.

We have friends who use private schoos and those who use state schools. Some of our friends went to private school themselves; many did not.

Neither DH or myself went to private school as children - we both went to your average local state school, although mine was far worse than DH's due to where I lived and the socia backgrounds in that area.

why o why do people think that just because you are well paid you dont live in the real world... whatever that is...

and also there are countless people who dont earn a lot of money but sacrfice a lot to send their children to private schools.

Neither DH or myself went to private school as children - we both went to your average local state school, although mine was far worse than DH's due to where I lived and the socia backgrounds in that area.

Well, maybe that's why you feel comfortable doing the jobs you do. Maybe if you had gone to private school, you wouldn't?

I suspect what they mean womble is you live in a different world.

Yes, that's what I meant Twinset

The real world is whatever is real for you!

I know since we have moved from Blackpool to Dorset some people back up north have made rather cutting comments about us no longer living in the real world. Teachers I used to work with say I no longer work in the real world and am caught in a bubble of pampered middle class kids. But if all feels very real to me if less stressful.

i agree twinset. The idea of a 'real'world is unhelpful- all of our worlds are real but they may not be typical. The fact that most people go to state schools surely makes that the most typical experience. For those that send your children privately you are buying them a 'different' experience clearly.

Hula, I teach, DH is a solicitor too. I'm always amazed at how many are married to teachers. Do you find the same? Maybe the country is just awash with teachers.

Twinset, I'm in the NW, Wilmslow, and I can tell you it most certainly is not the real world!

What are private school pupils missing out on by not being in your 'real world'?

How does it hold them back in their real worlds?