Would any teachers on here consider home educating their own children?

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Whether yes or no, why? And if yes, at what age/stage? I'm curious.

Many thanks.

"Any child with ASD spectrum problems, with odd parents, with any streak of "difference" is in m experience mercilessly picked on. At best only by a few of the meaner-spirited children, at worst by the entire school including many of the teachers -I once witnessed a very ill-adapted child being beaten up by a gang of girls; took the girls to task over it, dealt with it and told their tutor. Their tutor's response was that "Michael brought it on himself". Poor Michael was constantly in trouble because he "lost" exercise books, "dropped them in puddles" and "lost" homework. He didn't even bother complaining any more because he knew no-one would help him. If I were Michael's parents I would have been spitting snakes."

I know that this happens, there are plenty of poor schools around. However, it wouldn't happen in any of the schools that I go into (I wouldn't go into them if it did). Of course bullying happens but it is sorted out-poor Michael wouldn't have to put up with such appalling behaviour.

Lindenlass, I am certainly not dismissing the fact that children commit suicide for any reason. I just find that a profoundly unhelpful reason for choosing HE unless it is affecting your child personally.

Especially since if you looked at the number of cases of child suicide, accidents and injuries, abuse, neglect and so on and so on IN THE HOME you would find that children are statistically much more safe at school.

I think that if you were to phone my LEA and ask how many school children had committed suicide in the last 5 years the answer would be none. If they do it is in the local paper, there was a very sad case recently with a young man of 20 (nothing to do with schools)-it was in the paper because it was shocking and very unusual. A school child killing themselves would most definitely reported. (they do not frisk for knives at the school gate or any other horror story you read about in the papers).

'Yes, school is fab for some children, but it will be a minority - there is no way that, when you consider how different every child is, that school can do well for most children who attend it.'

I actually find this quite offensive. By all means HE your kids. No one is questioning this as a valid choice and we recognize that there are some circumstances where it is the best or the only solution.

But do not project your or your child's experiences on to schools or write off schools in this crass manner. The vast majority of children do enjoy school. Many adults talk about school as being the best period of their lives.

There's a very weird thing that happens to children when they leave especially children who have caused huge amounts of problems to teachers throughout their school life which is that they often want to return and spend all their time hanging around the school gates.

I think this stuff about not teaching children as individuals is also wrong. Teachers spent enormous amounts of time doing exactly this.

Yes, there are ways in which they have to conform and rules that they have to follow but I have no problem with that.

In some of this discussion there is a lack of concern for other people or any sense of responsibility for the community or society.

No, I don't walk out of meetings because I love my job. But I also respect other people's feelings and agendas as I expect them to respect mine.

I do accept that school doesn't work for everyone and some kids are profoundly unhappy there but that is a minority.

And even then there are often other options within state schooling. Dp teaches in a state school for children with severe EBD who cannot cope in mainstream schools. Most of them love going to his school which absolutely teaches them as individuals in classes of 5 and with a huge amount of flexibility in the curriculum.

lindlass since reading these types of MN threads I can see there is a definitely plus to HE. When it works it sounds fantastic.(OK It won't work for me cos I couldn't do it.)

But what worries me is that HEs like yourself are so vitriolic and nasty about normal school, when it is NOT as you like to think. Why can't you justify that HE is good for your children, without having to slag off normal school?

I wonder also what your children perceive about school, they must be terrified of it and think all our children are monsters, bullies or quivering wrecks.

Your posts do highlite the problems of HE, i.e. the child mainly spends their time with one adult who may have all sorts of extreme/weird ideas about life. At least a school child sees lots of adults, hears lots of views and can make their own assessment!

'I actually find this quite offensive. By all means HE your kids. No one is questioning this as a valid choice and we recognize that there are some circumstances where it is the best or the only solution.'

This is my main point fivecandles, and the main reason I get drawn in, as well as finding it interesting.
I am quite happy for people to HE but I get upset by the view that it is the right way to treat DCs for the good of their mental health. I am very thankful that I got the opportunity to go to school, I would still resent my parents to this day if they had kept me at home.
I want my DCs to do things that they don't want to do. I think it makes for self centred individuals if they only do what interests them, when it interests them. I think it is good to be able to persevere when the going gets tough. My DS chose French as an option for GCSE (he liked the teacher at the time and was doing well), he had a different teacher, didn't like her and started to struggle-he wanted to take the easy way out and give up. We made him carry on, I suggested a tutor,he didn't like this being a typical boy, we compromised and he worked at it and had a tutor for just a few sessions at the end-the result being that he managed a C grade.
There are lots of things they do for other people, e.e if great aunt sends a present they write a thank you letter, they don't want to but (horrible Mum) I make them, because I know that it means a lot to an elderly woman who doesn't get out much. (She wouldn't view a phone call in the same way).

The one thing that makes me very proud as a mother is that they have all been described throughout school as caring, friendly boys.

I also take exception to the institutionalised and not treated as an individual. I meet my DSs old primary school teachers when out and about, they always remember them and ask about them. I certainly don't treat the children the same in a class, for example some you can cheer up with a joke and it would be completely the wrong approach with another child.

I see DCs out and about who have been a real pain at times-they are always friendly and pleased to see me.

It is a bit like political parties MrsFreud-when we get to election time I want them to tell me why I should vote for their party-what is good about it-I do NOT want to know what is wrong with the other party and why I shouldn't vote for them.

Yes pisces, it is the sign of a very weak argument.

Am returning to this thread from last night, and would just like to point out that, yes, HE'ers can sound very defensive about the choice of educating their DC. There is a good reason for this. All throughout life we are questioned about how can it be good for the child. Exams, Isolation etc and we may have grown naturally defensive as this is a myth which we keep having to justify.

Exams may or may not be undertaken as explained earlier in the thread. Isolation is not necessarily so. Many children go to Home Ed groups which may meet two or three times a week where they socialise with lots of other children. They also go to the usual swimming, football, music, scouts, brownies as the children at school. Many have siblings. The only difference is that they may not be with other children from 9am to 3pm. This is what is so frustrating. Many of those who send their children to school and are anti HE are ignorant of HE, and presume xyz without speaking to people or reading the great many books, websites on the subject.

I am not anti school. I have 2 dc who attend school, one is blissfully happy there and the other who is considering HE but has yet to decide.

Poopscoop if HEs wrote a list of what theywant for their childrens aeducation, HEswould be surprised that a lot of schooling mums want that for their children too. If you ticked which system can provide these thing, HEs would ans choolers would both be surprised how many boxes are ticked by BOTH systems.

Its this constant point scoring that's irritating.

I am not point scoring. I don't think anyone else is either. If school works for your DC as it does with one of mine, that is great. I do not have a problem with it, not for her anyway.

One of mine was 'damaged' by the school system, and I can honestly say that if he had remained in the system he may well not be here today. It can and does fail children. Not all, of course.

Perhaps where you see it as point scoring is that so many HE'ers have a constant battle to justify why they are doing it. I don't think there are many of us who say school is a bad place, it is just not what they passionately feel is right for their own child.More and more children are leaving the school system by the day, as the awareness of Home Education grows. That is a fact, not a point scoring mission

"But what worries me is that HEs like yourself are so vitriolic and nasty about normal school, when it is NOT as you like to think. Why can't you justify that HE is good for your children, without having to slag off normal school?"

Because, when we try to do that, all the reasons are dismissed out of hand and I got fed up!

"I wonder also what your children perceive about school, they must be terrified of it and think all our children are monsters, bullies or quivering wrecks."

My children think school would be fab if they were able to go there when they wanted, but they don't want to go every day. They also don't want to go on their own (ie. without their friends who are all different ages, or their sisters, or me). You obviously think I spend my life saying 'don't like school, DCs because it's horrible and scary and you'll be bullied' - please give me a bit more credit than that! FFS - I am trying to defend my position as an HEor to a group of people, some of whom seem to firmly believe that by not sending my children to school I am somehow depriving them of something wonderful!

"Your posts do highlite the problems of HE, i.e. the child mainly spends their time with one adult who may have all sorts of extreme/weird ideas about life. At least a school child sees lots of adults, hears lots of views and can make their own assessment!"

This is the last post I'm going to make on this debate, interesting as it has been. Personal insults are a bit off-putting!

My children do not spend all their time with one adult. Your post highlights the ignorance most people display about home educated children. My children see a lot of adults, hear lots of views and can also make their own assessment and I am deeply offended by the suggestion that they do not .

Thanks everyone for the great debate, which I have really enjoyed. I'm not flouncing, but have probably said all I can say here now!

I, for one, accept that it can be quite sociable, as long as the parents make the effort, I know that there are thriving HE groups + all the usual cubs, brownies etc-it isn't something that would worry me. I also think it is good to mix more with different ages. I am picking up more and more about HE and it is very interesting when HEers start saying what is good and stop telling me how dreadful school is.
I am not getting at you Lindenlass, I can see it is a valid point, but I like mine to be able to do things on their own, I think it is sad when they want to do something but won't go unless they have a friend with them or someone they know. They are all different-DS1 got many more experiences because he was like an only DC and if he wanted to do something-e.g. rock climbing, he would just join a group on his own. DS2 and 3 are close in age and so have always had a playmate, DS2 in particular,was a homebird and needed his brother or friend with him-it took him much longer. I think doing something everyday,whether you want to or not is very good training-people would have to have a huge personal fortune to manage it beyond 18. I suppose you could say that in that case it is nice to have a childhood of freedom but it will come hard later on.

Oh they do have to do things they don't want to

tidy up, load the dishwasher, do odd jobs and all the usual mundane stuff.

Autonomous HE'ers still have their children brought up with respect. Their learning would be child led though. That's all.

Others have a more structured day with lessons and workbooks. It is all a matter of choice.

Hi there,I havent read all the posts, but I am a teacher, we live in kazakhstan and so I had a choice to HE my ds, or use local schools. Local schools are very different to UK, with lots of drills and rote learning. Not to mention the fact that they are in Russian. My ds is 6. he did one term in the UK at school and loved it, then we came back here. We couldnt get him into local school so I home schooled for 6 months. He hated it it. The only formal thing we did was learning to read. This did not come naturally to him, nor was it something he wanted or was keen to learn. No matter how fun I made it he had NO desire to learn words on a page, or writing. He was only 5.5, but at school in Uk he had started reading and writing and liked it because the teacher was cool. He did not want me to do it, I was Mum and not a teacher and couldnt possible know how to teach him to read. Eventually we got him a place at a local school. he went with very little Russian, this year is more relaxed, like a kindergarten year, he adores it and has picked up Russian very quickly, and has a group of friends. For him, he desparately wanted and needed a peer group that was not at home. he is so much happier in school, and then he comes home and does all the fun stuff at home that is really learning without him knowing it. We continued with reading and writing, and once he had school, he was happy to learn to read at home, and now enjoys it. My dd would love HE as long as she had a few play dates. Kids are different and do need different solutions at times. I wouldnt choose to HE in the UK but my ds can only go to local school for a couple of years, before we will need to make a choice again. (Sorry, cant use the punctuation marks on this computer properly)

I love your name steppemum-it took me a while to get it! How fantatic to speak Russian at such a young age!

fantastic even! sorry

Actually I don't think that anyone has been attacking of HE here. They have been very balanced accepting it as a valid choice and acception that it may be the best or onyl solution for some children.

It is perfectly acceptable and right to have concerns about it just as it is perfectly acceptable to have concerns over school education.

Isolation and lack of formal educations ARE potential hazards of HE. OK, there may be ways of overcoming these but it is right to question them.

If you were thinking of sending your child to a school you would have a list of questions - will your children be properly cared for? Will you be properly informed of your children's progress? Etc, etc

so it is perfectly legitimate to have qu.s about HE too.

Can I just say as well as the extremely unpleasant perception of schools I really resent the implication that children who go to school don't get the opportunities to do the sorts of things that HE children do whether that's building a den or finding out about electricity or reading or whatever.

And also not all HE parents adopt this child centred approach. Some deliberately keep them from school to hothouse them with sometimes disastrous consequences. I'm not saying this is typical but there are as many different types of HE as there are people who do it and they don't all produce happy, well adjusted kids who are prepared for the next stage of their lives. Yes, yes, I know not all schools do either.

School is about conformity to a certain degree but I don't quite understand why learning a degree of conformity is so terrible.

All children are wonderful, unique individuals and sometimes schools are good at teaching children mutual respect and that everyone has something interesting to bring to the table. In order to discover this, sometimes you need to sit down and shut up!

Being able to conform and to be 'one of the crowd' when you choose is a wonderful life skill and one that I would not want to deny any child. No one wants to be 'special' all the time but we all need to feel special some of the time.

Although school tecahers can over emphasise conformity, I do wonder whether Home Educators (like all parents) are overly concerned with the individuality? Some of the posts above do certainly sound that way. (though perhaps this is down to context and people feeling the need to defend their positions)

Can I also add that a debate between schools and home schoolers is enormously interesting and surely there is much to be learned by trying to understand both groups?

My ds is a very square peg and being 'one of the boys' and slightly rounded off has been great for him. He's still pretty square but he also feels like he fits and that has done wonders for his self confidence and general happiness.

I was really worried about how he'd cope in state school (we even did a disastrous 2 year foray into Steiner education but that's a whole other thread) but actually, it's been the best thing for him. I'm not saying that it's like this for all kids but kids can surprise you and some schools are good with quirkiness.

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I'd also like to add that just cos children go to school doesn't mean they don't play with children of different ages both in the playgound and beyond. My three dc's regularly play with kids from 0 to 18. In fact my youngest didn't have a playmate her own age till she started nursery.

While I'm all for mixed age playing, I think that playing with a large group of kids your own age is also a wonderful experience and whether Home edding or schooling it is important and possible for kids to have a balance of both.

I've been teaching some mad (in a good way), funny, independent, creative, original and very bright kids who've been entirely through the state system today. Conformist they were not in appearance and in their excellent ideas and writing!

Oh, and dp has just introduced gardening and cooking with a real chef into his state school. They've also got a bunch of eggs that they're going to hatch into chickens!