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Education

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Would any teachers on here consider home educating their own children?

198 replies

Matchbox · 24/02/2009 00:48

Whether yes or no, why? And if yes, at what age/stage? I'm curious.

Many thanks.

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 24/02/2009 00:55

yes.

topic of regular debate. First discussed it as an option if they didn't get into the primary school we wanted, the only one worth having round here tbh. Since then it has been with reference mainly to ds1 being dyslexic. It would hit at the point - if it arises - that I figure out whether the secondary schools in our area can get it anywhere near right for him, I don't want him to get pissed off with school and decide not to learn. Hopfully we will find a school that he can do his best in, but from what i can see atm the scene isn't that promising. Ironically I'm both primary and FE trained, and work in SEN.

gigglewitch · 24/02/2009 00:56

am also curious, matchbox why d'you ask?

twinsetandpearls · 24/02/2009 01:09

No, dd loves school and is thriving there, I also love going out to work and am thriving there.

Matchbox · 24/02/2009 01:16

Thanks for posting, gigglewitch. I ask because I'm curious about home ed for DS, who hasn't relished his introduction to school for a number of reasons - and I have been peripherally interested in home ed for a long time.

I have followed threads on here about the pros and cons of home ed, written from the perspectives of mostly non-teaching (in the conventional sense) parents. I've been wondering if teachers - who are in the thick of the action, conventional schooling-wise, and really know what goes on in the classroom (because I don't - DS tells me next to nothing!) - are equally divided on home ed, or if they're generally more intensely for or against it ... or both! Just interested to know what perspectives they bring to the idea, really.

OP posts:
Matchbox · 24/02/2009 01:17

Thanks, twinset.

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 24/02/2009 01:19

I dont know any teachers who home eduate, but then I suppose I wouldn't because then they would not be at work with me! But also thinking of previous colleagues and people I trained with who have gone on to have children, I am not aware of anyone who homeeducates.

gigglewitch · 24/02/2009 01:31

ok, so I'm possibly a 'red herring' type poster, because I work in SEN and I'm not truly "in the thick of it" so to speak

Likewise, I don't have any desire to home-ed my two younger children who are likely to gobble up everything that the state system can throw at them. Just for DS1 as I worry (to excess) about how he will cope in a large class of children unless he gets either a Statement or adequate support.

violethill · 24/02/2009 07:47

I have mixed feelings because one of my children, my ds, doesn't like school. Some children are just like this - the structure of school doesn't suit them. DS is very bright and a good self learner and in many ways home ed would suit him.

HOWEVER, I am totally with Twinset on the point about enjoying teaching myself (as does DH) and frankly it would drive me nuts to not go out to work. Yes of course home educating a bright child would be very stimulating but in a more narrow way - I need the buzz of a working environment. Oh and we could do with the incomes too! At the end of the day, Home educating is dependent on the relative luxury of having one parent at home all day, which rules it out for many families.

I also have mixed feelings because although my ds would prefer to not have to go to school, I do think an important part of life is about pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone. The likelihood is we'll all have aspects of life that aren't exactly as we want - maybe having to do a low status job for a few years, or a difficult training course etc and I think it's important for children to be resilient enough to deal with various situations.

Litchick · 24/02/2009 08:31

violet - I agree about pushing oneself but feel there's a huge difference between making a decision at say, 21, to take a difficult and boring course and being forced at five to spend the next thirteen years in an environment you hate. As an adult you wouldn't do it would you? You would do whatever you could to change things.
The distinction lies in whether a child is simply not keen or actively dislikes school.

As for the OP I have several friends who are teachers and home-ed their kids. One is still a supply teacher. Their view seems to be that it isn't necessary to home -ed sucessfully but perhaps it gives one a boost of confidence in the first months.

Lindenlass · 24/02/2009 08:35

I'm not a teacher, but the two greatest supporters of our decision to HE in our extended family are my mum (a primary school teacher who wishes she'd home educated us) and my uncle (a secondary school teacher with four children who wishes he'd home educated his children). I also know two local HEors who are teachers.

TeenyTinyToria · 24/02/2009 08:35

My mum is a teacher, and home-educated all six of her children. I also know a secondary school teacher who home-educated both his childen.

The other day, there was a phone in on the radio about primary schools in England being too focused on tests and maths/English to the detriment of everything else. During that phone in, many teachers contacted the show to say that they either home-educated or intended to home-educate their children for that very reason.

violethill · 24/02/2009 08:58

Oh I agree Litchick - it must be awful to have a child who is really unable to cope with school. In that situation I guess you would move heaven and earth to find an alternative, although I still think home educating remains outside the realms of possibility for many people because it does basically necessitate a parent at home full time, or two parents working part time between them, which isn't realistic for many.

My ds isn't that extreme thank goodness. He would just prefer to not have to go to school as the structure and whole set up doesn't suit him. He is very bright and I think that can be a factor with some kids, although as a teacher myself I have come across children who are school phobic for deep seated reasons which are nothing to do with ability.

We have tried different schools - ds was in private and switched to state which he prefers - he likes the cut and thrust of the ttop sets, and he prefers the teachers on the whole. But if it were up to him, he would probably prefer to be home educated. That won't happen though - I enjoy my work life as does my DH and I think ultimately it pprobably does my ds good to have to fit into the family as a whole rather than feeling that we would rearrange such major aspects of life around him.

Litchick · 24/02/2009 11:22

It is very difficult isn't it?
To give up the thing you love so your children can stay home is a huge sacrifice.
I guess you would do it in an instant if they were seriously distressed. Otherwise it's a compromise no?
I am very lucky in that I found the perfect school for my DCs ( five mins away, acres of green space, braod curriculum )and they love it but when secondary beckons I don't know what then I shall do.
I would consider home educating but I too love my job though I can do it from home. I just need it to be very very quiet which is not that conducive to having two live wires around. We shall have to see at the time

Pruners · 24/02/2009 11:25

Message withdrawn

knat · 24/02/2009 11:36

i am seriously thinking of home edding my dd (5). She is asd and is seriously not coping with school. She's hardly in class because of her behaviour and i am now beginning to worry about her. She picks at her skin - if there is a cut especially and squeezes it to make it bleed and would carry on and on with it. She says its her favourite thing to do. I think she is completely distressed and her behaviour reflects that. I have a meeting with school and autism outreach tomorrow and after this i do think i will have to de-reg her. I'm worried about what will happen to her state of mind - she is so fragile at the minute. There is the school of thought that she should jsut get on with it but for a child with asd i dont think this is the right approach.

Matchbox · 24/02/2009 11:50

violethill - I can relate to needing your income. I need at least a part-time income, so home ed would also impact on my (I'm sure happy to help) parents - but still, I'd possibly feel as though I was putting upon them. And I have a couple of hobbies without which I would be miserable and no fun for a home educated DS to live with anyway.

I agree that an important part of life is learning to push oneself beyond one's comfort zone. BUT I would echo what Litchick says: grown-ups have to do this too sometimes, but they almost always have choices in the matter in a way that children don't. We could choose to do a crappy job for a while, or choose to get out of a job (or other situation) that's become crappy, once we'd done all we could to rectify it. Having and exercising these choices teach self-respect, self-agency and responsibility. A child often doesn't choose to go to school; doesn't choose which school he or she goes to; and doesn't have the choice to get out of a school setting if it doesn't suit him or her. I think, rather than learning to push beyond their comfort zones, there is a danger of these children - who feel miserable in school and also utterly stuck there - ultimately feeling disempowered and hopeless.

This all applies to extreme unhappiness at school of course, because I think you hit the nail on the head with the idea of compromise. If your son isn't school-phobic and muddles along OK, and him doing this enables you to feel fulfilled in your work and to have enough income for the family, it probably has to be this way. If you gave up your work so your son could be happy being home educated, but you felt unfulfilled and resentful - you would be dishonouring yourself, and that would set him a crap example.

So yes, I suppose it has to be about compromise - and that's a good lesson for children to learn.

Lindenlass and TeenyTinyToria - that is interesting. That's the sort of thing I was wondering about - if teaching kids in a school setting, and particularly with all the relatively recent changes to teaching (constraints of national curriculum, teaching to test, etc) which no one seems terribly happy about, would mean teachers might be more likely to entertain home ed for their own children.

Interesting stuff. Thanks for posts.

OP posts:
Matchbox · 24/02/2009 11:53

So sorry your DD is so distressed, knat. I think special needs can tip the home ed debate for sure. I do hope you either manage to get the support your DD needs soon, and/or the courage to take the plunge with home ed, if you feel that would be best for her. Are you a teacher too, knat? Good luck.

OP posts:
violethill · 24/02/2009 17:58

I think you describe it very well Matchbox. My DS certainly isn't distressed, but he does find it hard to fit into the restrictions and structures of school, and as a bright lad prefers to self study. I also pick up from him that although he resents school in some ways, he does actually need to be around other bright kids for a good chunk of time, which is another factor in choosing school rather than home educating. I love the idea of home educating, but I probably view it through rose tinted specs, and the reality would probably be that I felt isolated. I know there are networks, but I need something of my 'own' and I also need to get out of the home - I could never work from home, for instance, wouldn't suit me.

Financially either DH or I could give up work now, but in truth neither of us would want to, and I do think all 3 of our children like the fact that we work. I still think that for many families though, who aren't on good incomes, it probably wouldn't be a possibility. I taught a lad a few years back who became very school phobic, and was desperate to be taught at home by his mum. Financially it wasn't possible for her to be home, and this boy ended up with a couple of hours tuition a day at through the Medical Tuition Service which is not ideal really, as they can't possibly provide the breadth of curriculum in a such a small allocation of time. Must be extremely difficult as a parent to find yourself in that position.

spongebrainbigpants · 24/02/2009 18:01

Yes, I would definitely consider home educating and I'm a primary school teacher - I don't like the one-size fits all education we have in this country and I was viciously bullied at primary school as a child. If I got a whiff of bullying of my children I wouldn't hesitate to home ed - I have never recovered from the psychological scars that bullying left.

However, my fear would be that I couldn't home ed past 11 cos I just couldn't cope with the curriculum.

However, my DS is only 8 mths so long way to go yet!

fivecandles · 24/02/2009 19:01

Absolutely not. It's fairly natural for children to not like being taught by their own parents while often hanging on the every word of some of their teachers. All part of developing their own independence and love of learning for itself. I think the boundaries between being mum and being teacher would be really difficult for the relationship. It's hard enough as it is with dp and I as teachers helping with homework. I also think it's really importatn for children to socialise with others and learn by others' examples. Having said all that my kids do go to a private school because of my experiences as a teacher in state schools locally.

bigcometobedeyes · 24/02/2009 19:11

Yes I would, but I would still supplement with some private tuition for certain subjects when they got to a certain level - in my domestic utopia of mothering and teaching!

poopscoop · 24/02/2009 19:15

There are members of Education Otherwise who are or have been teachers and chosen to Home Educated their own children for a number of reasons.

janeite · 24/02/2009 19:16

No.

  1. Both dds like school and are doing well - they would have a far more narrow social circle without school

  2. I love my job: would go barmy at home!

  3. I have a good knowledge in some areas - would be fine with teaching English (my subject), History (part of my degree and PGCE), Geography, Food etc - but would fail horribly on the Maths and possibly the Science. I'd be confused and would therefore confuse them and we'd all be miserable.

  4. At school they get the chance to do Drama, lots of PE activities, dance, participate in school plays etc - none of which I could offer at home.

sarah293 · 24/02/2009 19:18

This reply has been deleted

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optimisticmumma · 24/02/2009 19:26

I agree with SPBpants. I too worry about the one size fits all aspect of school and I would hesitate to keep trying to fit square pegs into round holes. I have taught some children who have had significant special needs and really require a one to one environment and an individually tailored programme. However, unless it really didn't work I would school my children as I would worry about limiting life chances etc. I'm in an interesting position as my DD has a chronic illness and is struggling to stay at school. She is adamant that she wants to for all the other reasons - friends, trips etc but we may be forced in the end to take her out of school

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