Daughter unable to attend her graduation as no tickets left (second thread)

[mildlyfried]

My daughter cannot attend her graduation as major Uni only offers tickets on a 'first come first served' basis. We are very upset and think the Uni should have ensured there were enough ceremonies/capacity for every graduate. This is the second thread.

Thank you.

I should have been clearer in my previous summary in this regard so I appreciate you pointing this out.

In addition to the information given by @BreadInCaptivityand @PerditaCampbellBlack it is worth noting that the op has been asked to clarify

1. exactly what emails her daughter received and how she responded
2. what she would like to happen

There has been no response.

To be fair I think the OP has been clear in her expectations that her daughter should be allowed to attend the same graduation ceremony as her friends.

Putting on another ceremony in the summer (whilst not being a maths wizz the chance of all her friends who have already been allocated to a ceremony and it being the same one or even same day - out of 15- thus meaning they were all in the same college and she had no friends on her course and that some of the larger colleges have multiple ceremonies - would be a statistically impressive outcome) would not resolve the issue.

Unless of course the OP’s lack of hubris also extends to an expectation that all her child’s friends are moved to the date of this new ceremony (despite the fact they may have already made travel plans for dates they were allocated in May) or that her daughter is allocated to an extra special new ceremony for students who are given an additional certificate to “celebrate” their (or their parents) tenacity in determining that personal responsibility is an optional life skill the attendees of the other 15 ceremonies have failed to master.

All 100% bang on

But even if we accept it’s not “the best system” - given these adults all knew and were advised explicitly of the “system” …. It isn’t unfair but rather down to the op’s daughter not taking the explicit instructions in the invite seriously. In contrast to ALL her friends - who did.

“First come first served”

Hardly an alien concept.

PerditaCampbellBlack I didn't want this to get unpleasant but you really shouldn't push people. Can you tell me why my post on your Facebook page has been removed then if you are happy with negativity about the Uni? Can you repost it now in goodwill so others can see it and the communication on it? Why hide it? also you know all other communication was done by DM with one Uni admin. She was initially very supportive but that soon faded away when I said I was not happy to repost more favourably.

Can you also tell me PerditaCampbellBlack why you attempted to close the last thread which was almost reaching it's 1000 limit? You posted one letter 20plus times then deleted the post to block any more comments! I really think you should be personally reflecting on whether you have the right qualities to be an Admin and whether you understand the role. People can agree or disagree that is their right but the information should be not be hidden. An admin should be a person with a balanced mind and integrity. Have a look at how Mumsnet do it!

This post has generated much discussion and emotion. I understand the loyalty to Lancaster and it is not a bad Uni. This is just one very small part of my daughters stay. The reason for the post was in the hope that the Uni and others with similar 'first come first served' policies will look at the impact that has on their students. Student debt is large and they have worked hard so it is not unreasonable to expect a Uni to have enough places in July just after the results come out so they can celebrate. There is still time for the Uni to sort this out and they may do that. I hope they will get some feedback and act on some of the suggestions here.

It isn’t my Facebook page

I posted later at 21:38 about this - not sure if you saw it.

They responded to you explicitly that they would not be doing anything further than that has been planned for months.

did you go back to them and now waiting for a response? Is that why you’re still hopeful for July?

Ah sorry missed

yes - once the information is known….. well we and most others have reached the same conclusion

Wow as a mother to a teen who will be applying for uni soon, I will avoid Lancaster like the plague after these threads - not because of the "first come first serve" graduation policy, but because of the unpleasant and quite frankly unhinged way people apparently associated with the uni have been harassing the OP on these threads 😱

I went to UCL, my brother to Queen Mary and then Cambridge and I can confirm those unis had no issues with arranging graduation ceremonies for all the students who wanted to attend. All students could get a ticket plus family tickets with no issues.

And if your teen is desperate to go to Lancaster?

I will avoid Lancaster like the plague

well it’s not you applying is it @XelaM

It's me paying 💰

Well it would appear your brother’s uni now has a first come first serve policy

So your teen could be desperate to go to Lancaster but you say that if he does go you won’t give him a penny support because of the first come first serve ticket allocation for the ceremony 3 years away?

With all due respect the OP hasn’t been harassed.

She has however been challenged about the information she has provided (or perhaps more accurately the lack of information).

For clarity the people posting have never claimed to be affiliated to the university. Rather they have started they are parents whose children previously attended or who still attend this university and have knowledge of how graduation ceremony places are allocated.

As per my pp - these are actually the very people you would rationally expect to be supporting the OP to lobby for change if the process was unfair, lacked transparency and was poorly managed.

You are of course welcome to draw your own conclusions about why they are not doing so and act accordingly.

For my part I do not think the blame here lies with the university or with posters who have sought to bring some clarity in respect of the process to counter the OP’s claims.

I’m also not an arsehole and despite the fact the OP’s daughter did not follow the instructions given I do actually hope she is successful in obtaining a place on the waitlist and that she and her family get to attend graduation in the summer as they hope to do.

No. I'm quite shocked that the OP is being hounded by what appears to be a group of people associated with Lancaster university who are bringing up some Facebook groups etc. From an observer's perspective, I'm quite shocked and don't want my child to be at a university with such a toxic contingent of parents/staff.

So to be clear

you would or wouldn’t withhold financial support if your teen wanted to go to Lancaster?

and your brother’s uni is not first come and first served (and remains thriving!)

Oh your dc would be fine. I don't think any Lancaster staff have been on either threads or the FB page so you'd only have to deal with us horrible parents on drop off/pick up days.

@mildlyfried I've been watching this discussion unfold and I am completely with you on this one. Graduation ceremonies should not be on a first come first served basis at all, I think that is ridiculous. Every student should be given the opportunity to say yes or no to a graduation ceremony, with a cut off date for replying, then ceremonies worked around these numbers. If students reply outside the yes or no cut-off date, then a place wouldn't be guaranteed , however, it'd make sense for unis to keep a limited number of spaces for late replies. Graduation ceremonies should be guaranteed for students should they want to attend one - I completely understand where you are coming from. Yes, the ceremonies aren't particularly exciting or anything, but it's your child up there recieving their degree. There's nothing wrong with wanting to witness it, make some memories and be proud parents, and also nothing wrong with being upset that she hasn't secured a place at the ceremony. Especially as your child did actually reply within the specified time frame. I would feel exactly the same as you. Also, for your child to end their uni years proud of their achievement, and being part of the traditional ceremony with her course mates, it's very sad they won't be there. The whole thing is a disgrace and I feel sorry for you and your child.

@mildlyfried
Could you clarify if your daughter received an email in March asking her to register her interest in attending graduation?
If she did, what was her response.

Also please can you clarify exactly what you want Lancaster to do at this point?

These and similar questions have been asked before but not clearly answered and would make things easier to understand.

Many universities have more than three ceremonies a day. University is so expensive and everyone deserves a graduation ceremony.

And DD will get one
in November
which she was fully aware would be the alternative if she didn’t respond promptly