Gordonstoun vs shrewsbury defiant high iq girl

[ByRedTiger]

I have a defiant and high iq girl with high functioning asd and adhd medicated. Which school is better?

Wow.

I wonder if there is anywhere where she can send her parents for a reset?!

@MeetMeOnTheCorner Scotland is not remote, and Gordonstoun is most definitely not remote.
You seem to think it is, have you actually been?

With your somewhat medieval attitude I think that you'd love Christs Hospital - compulsory marching and a tudor uniform. Please don't send her there though - its a fab school but they have to really want to be there.

I've visited Gordonstoun, Elgin etc. It's certainly remote from international airports. We don't know where OP lives, but there's a high chance that you won't get a convenient direct flight there from Aberdeen Airport.

@Turtlesgottaturtleit would take about 90 mins to get to Aberdeen, it could take longer to get through London to get to Heathrow.
You can’t say the op’s child won’t get a flight from Aberdeen as you don’t know where they live.
Saying Gordonstoun is remote is just not correct, it isn’t

On the information that we have (almost none) it would be foolish to advise that Gordonstoun would be convenient. Even if there is a flight from Aberdeen (after a 90 minute drive, presumably by taxi) to OP's country, the chances of there being a flight to the preferred city and on the preferred day are very low. However, the OP seems to like the idea of Gordonstoun, so perhaps she is planning to keep her DC in Scotland over the school holidays.
When I visited Gordonstoun I felt that it was less remote, less wild, less cold and mountainous than I had anticipated, bearing in mind all the stories of how arduous Gordonstoun is as a school. It's on the warmer, flatter, drier, sunnier side of Scotland, near some pleasant sandy beaches and some nice small towns and villages with plenty of ice cream parlours. But convenient for international flights is something it isn't.
If OP likes the idea of a Scottish boarding school, she could look at what's on offer in Edinburgh, or perhaps at one of the Perthshire boarding schools. A bit more convenient. If she wants her daughter to be cut off from civilisation, then Glenalmond would be worth a look.

Adhd doesn't go away & distance won't repair your relationship.

I'm all of those things. That said distance might help her achieve, away from a clearly challenging family culture.

But at no point has the op asked if Gordonstoun is convenient for international travel. Nobody knows what the ops plans are but posters saying Gordonstoun is remote is incorrect, goodness one poster even said Scotland is remote!

And yes it may be 90 by taxi but they could also get a train to Dyce or an Ember to drop them right outside departures at Aberdeen airport.
Strangely enough we do have public transport up here in “remote” Scotland

I have to say that Shrewsbury is also pretty inconvenient for international airports.

Maybe the OP just wants to send her daughter to an isolated place? Somewhere it’s not easy to get away from.

Tbf I think the “Gordonstoun is a bit remote” line perhaps is people saying “it’s a long way from where I live”. About three-quarters of the UK's population lives south of Leeds – which is about 400 miles from Gordonstoun. So for most people in the UK, it is remote – as in, a long way away. That's a bit of a red herring tho as @ByRedTiger has updated that they live abroad. So I am guessing location is not so crucial.

I also wonder about why the OP has landed on these two schools. Gordonstoun is a very specific place. I worked with someone who had gone there and they were an outstandingly pleasant, polite person. Which doesn't prove much I guess. But from reading about the school, it very much suits someone outdoorsy who is keen on things like sailing. It has a big focus on something called character education. I know nothing about the other school mentioned.

My concern @ByRedTiger as others say is what do you mean by a reset? Why do you describe your DD as defiant? It’s a curious word to use. Does she really want to go to a boarding school in another country? How old is she?

@clary To be fair, most international dc are not looking to be quite so far north and not near a major hub like Heathrow. Most international boarders won’t go to Inverness. I imagine an education consultant has selected these schools as neither are handy for London. There’s an air of punishment in the choices I feel. Many England based parents don’t look at Inverness for dc at age 13 so why would an overseas one? Many boarders go around 1-3 hours from home, and that’s not Inverness.

It’s not remote but it’s inconvenient to get to unless there’s a direct flight into Aberdeen, compared to anywhere within a reasonable train / bus / taxi ride from Heathrow or Gatwick.

I'm guessing Gordonstoun is on the list because it has a reputation for being a tough, hard physical work, be a team player and develop a resilient personality type of school. Whether it still deserves that reputation I'm not sure. Can anyone guess why Shrewsbury is on the list?

OP is looking to send her ADHD/ASD child to a very traditional boarding school in a different country “for a reset” presumably because she is “defiant”.

and people are arguing about calling Gordonstoun remote?? Way to miss the point.

OP please keep your daughter at home and look for a local school with excellent SEN support, or online schooling with lots of support from you and others. What you are proposing will do huge amounts of harm to your DD and your relationship.

Poor little PDA, anxious, autistic girl, probably dual exception, needing total security and support. She is not defiant. Educate yourselves.

Don't abuse her by sending her away, keep her and do the hard yards of low demand, high autonomy parenting, like the rest of us do. This makes me actually feel pretty sick in my stomach.

Thank you for the geography lessons and the completely absent from any context judgement and verbal diarrhea.

My question relates to the pastoral care at both schools. Both are focussed on character building but I’m not sure in what way. Gordonstoun is not supposedly tough. It’s outdoorsy which can be very healthy.

if anyone wants to actually comment on what they know about the schools and be helpful please do.

I can comment as a recent ex staff member of Gordonstoun.
Talk with the admissions team, the pastoral care is second to none, the school is in beautiful location, it really does give a character education and their ethos, there is more in you, pushes each child gently to achieve their best. It is not all about academics there.
Good luck.
P.s they even have a travel department who can help you plan how to get your child from school to home if this does worry you 😉

I can’t comment about the schools (though I did go to boarding school myself) but I have an AuAdhd child, medicated, high iq and “defiant”. An austistic child, in particular, needs time to decompress away from people and boarding school could be overwhelming unless they are in sixth form and have a private room / free periods etc.

we considered boarding school for our DC but decided it wasn’t appropriate given their diagnosis.

Op it might be worth starting with what schools would fit her personality and neurotype best. What are her interests, what does she like? How old is she?

There are plenty of schools in the UK that focus on building values in their work with teens but which specifically have experience of neurodivergence eg St Christopher School Letchworth which has international borders.

Perhaps a 'defiant' child who needs a 'reset' might actually find themselves doing better in ANY boarding school away from the home environment.

I recognise that some of the impression you've left me with is possibly a poor choice of language and doesn't reflect your feelings or intent. I also recognise you may be burnt out from managing a high needs child. Good luck to you both.

If you are set on boarding in UK, then I'd recommend Sedbergh School for a neuro diverse child. I don't think Gordonstoun or Shrewsbury School would suit.

I can somewhat understand the interest in Gordunston but am curious by the choice of Shrewsbury. We know lots of kids that go there but none are particularly defiant / ADHD etc so I'm not sure what's driving this choice. Shrewsbury takes a pretty broad church academically these days. Hardly anyone is turned away. From what I can see the criteria to get in is wealthy, between high and low IQ and any personality from musical / sporty / sloany / motivated / entitled etc but I don't know anyone there with SEN /ND.

I should add a friend of ours removed their DD from boarding at Shrewsbury as she was becoming a bit wild and they weren't impressed by the lack of discipline/ pastoral care for girls.

In fact we know quite a few girls who have gone there but I would say pastorally it's not as great for girls. We know of 3 that have left to go to other schools but we don't know any boys that have left..