Should I report concerns about teacher socialising with pupil and parent?

[Jblingsmum]

My son dumped his girlfriend. So i asked him why. He said he didn't really want to chat about it but he did open up to his dad. He said that his girlfriend and her mother spend a lot time with a male teacher from school together. Football outing and meeting for the odd coffee together. Hes told her she needs to speak to the head teacher. Shes saying she wont. So he dumped her. I cant have my son mixed up in this. It doesn't feel right at all. Im sure this shouldn't be allowed.
If I report it. Its going to look like him.
advice needed

Nice try but shock horror teachers are even are allowed to have children of their own, if they check with MN first of course

A girl doesn’t owe your son anything just because he paid for cinema tickets, and treated her to a manicure !
if the teachers at my dds rural school couldn’t socialise with students’ parents , they would have no friends.
Everyone is allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean they are having an affair.

What am I even reading. Get a grip for goodness sake. Teachers are people. They associate with other people. The end. 🙄

Are you crazy?
I'm pretty sure there is other side of the story too.
Leave it, why do you need this kind of drama?
Lots of teachers from my son's school are friends with parents, going out,etc.

Some of my friends work at the SEN school my children go to. They might have been friends before her daughter started at the school.

I can see why your DS doesn’t want the girl as his GF if she keeps letting him down. But I don’t think the married teacher and her DD meeting anyone else is his, or your, business. You’re not the morality police! I wouldn’t condone it either but it is not your business.

Because he paid for tickets for the pictures.
He paid for her nails to be done. He works on a weekend to treat her and himself.

Well now he will have more money to treat himself !
But seriously, the whole 'I have paid for stuff therefore you owe me thing' is a massive red flag that you and DH need to discuss quite urgently with your son.

You and your son seem way to invested in other people’s business.

Are you all a bunch of 7 year olds at a playgroup kind of thing? The mind boggles.

Huuuhhh? Where's the issue? I still don't understand.

So your son had a girlfriend. He treated her to a cinema trip and a manicure. She kept blowing him off, so he dumped her. All fine, usual teenage drama.

This girl's mother is friends with (the girl's?) teacher. All three of them spend time together, go for an odd coffee. What's the issue here? What do you want to 'report'? Both the mum and the teacher are married. Are you insinuating that they're cheating on their spouses with each other? Even if so, how is it any of your business?

Teachers are people; they're allowed to have friends—even friends who have kids. Teachers are not saints; they can be shitty human beings too, and cheat on their spouses, it happens. That's all basic life, where's the crime?

And 'you can't allow your son to be mixed up in THIS' - in WHAT, exactly?

I have regular sleepovers with one of my pupils.

She's my niece.

You’re going to have to spell out whatever it is that you’re implying. What do you think is wrong with the relationship? What’s the issue?

Maybe the teacher is secretly the GFs dad OP! Either as a sperm donor or through an old affair! Though I fear a PP may be correct and this post was/is leading up to the plot of a really icky porno.

I took it to mean she keeps cancelling because she's "jealous" and upset if her mum sees this man alone, and maybe she's kept going on about it to the boy, who is frustrated she's upset-and a compared to my age group, Gen Z seem to be very against affairs, and like to "call people out". Obviously this doesn't necessarily mean they're having an affair, and if they are, while the girl has the right to be upset, and the boy has a right to feel upset she is upset and cancelling at short notice, it is still not a legal issue.

Interesting. I would assume because of the obvious safeguarding and confidentialty risks that this would be a priority for schools especially with the advent of social media and kids having unsupervised access with phones.

This is a given in most other roles where there is a power dynamic. Even just some guidence giving teachers something to think about to protect themselves from bonkers accusations.

I still can't work out the defensviness on this thread. Surely teachers recognise they are at risk if they have friendships etc. with people who kids they teach?

Get a life 🤣

Can I ask how you think it would work for teacher that has a. Hood in the school? Absolutely ridiculous.

One of my best friends is a teacher in my DD’s school. I’ve known her since before my DD started school and we’ve been close for years. Should I have ended the friendship and told her I could no longer socialise with her?
Or does the fact that we’re both straight females make it ok?

Quite. Turns it into a completely different thread. After it wasnt going op‘s way…

And they’re having affair dates, but taking the dd along?

This poster is not going to engage. They are just plopper posts.

You see them all over MN. It's always the same pattern.

The teacher is having an affair with the girl's mom. They are maybe planning on leaving their respective partners and being together. So he is trying to make nice with her daughter, to soften the blow, so to speak.

None of this covers him in glory, but it doesn't make him a safeguarding risk either. Teachers are human and flawed too....

Don't see your son's problem with it really. Or yours.

Its none of your business OP. If your son has decided to dump his girlfriend because he js uncomfortable with it that's his choice. However thats where you leave it. Teachers have life's to.

Assuming your son is a teenager, what a weird and "heavy" thing for him to get hung up on. Surely at that age things should be fun and lighthearted. He sounds a right old grump.

I am a teacher. On one occasion a child bumped into me in the coop. He was big eyed and silent. The next day, ‘Miss X, what were you DOING in the Coop near MY HOUSE?!’ ‘Er … buying food … to eat …’ Stunned silence!

Sorry - this was supposed to be in response to the stories of children being shocked when seeing their teacher out of school. Failed to link it!!