To think unless you’ve been to private school you don’t really understand why it’s so valuable?

[huopp]

I have so many people telling me the state system is fine, a private school just has better facilities, that the teachers aren’t any better, that the extra curricular stuff can be done after school at a state school but at a different venue etc etc…

whilst all the above is true, it isn’t what makes a private education valuable? And that you have to actually have lived it, been to one, to get the whole experience it gives you across the board and not just academically?

i think this is why a lot of people with ‘new money’ don’t always spend it on school fees. In contrast those who have been privately educated mostly want the same for their children.

I was privately educated. I’ve made the choice not to bother for my kids. (In fact, I was one for four kids, half of whom were privately educated, so a mini-study in the value of private vs state…)

And to think unless you have been through the state system you don't appreciate that private education isn't the be all and end all.

Unfortunately only about 7% of people will be able to vote.

Very much depends on the state school on offer. See the teachers quitting thread for details. These are real schools.

I was educated at state along with my eldest sister, middle sister went private. We pretty much all ended up on a par career wise.

It sounds like you’ve had a good experience of private school OP, and that’s lovely. By the same token I could start a thread asking

AIBU to say that unless you’ve been on an educational cruise with a famous archaeologist you don’t really understand why it’s so valuable?

and someone else could write

AUBU to say that unless you’ve owned an Aston Martin you don’t really understand why it’s so valuable?

Horses for courses

You don’t have to have experienced something yourself to understand the benefits. Incidentally, you also can have experienced it and not think it’s that beneficial.

A mix of both in my family - private education doesn’t seem to matter that much to happiness, success and career outcomes.

I don’t think that this is true. We are both state educated and chose private for our children because we could see the benefits. It’s about so much more than exam grades and what salary your eventual career pays, which many don’t seem to realise.

Edited to add : not all private schools are the same. There are some I definitely wouldn’t pay for.

It's more dependant imo on whether or not you live near a good state school that caters well for your DCs individual needs. Often (not always) that's down to being able to afford a house near the right state school.

I don't think it's about new versus old money really. Not so much nowadays anyway. I know people who went to private schools but send their DC to state schools. Also know people the other way round.

I was privately educated (at one of the top 50 schools academically in the country). My children aren’t, although I could afford it. So far, so good…

Private schools do have advantages, and parents need to be much more involved to replicate these in the state sector, but is that a bad thing?

I have (and still am) offering my children private 6th form. So far, in discussion with my oldest, he would prefer to stay in the state sector.

I think a lot avoid state because of fear of the unknown, to be honest.

I know A LOT of people who went to public school who didn’t do the same for their children. I also know A LOT of first generation public school children so presumably their “new money” parents ARE choosing to spend on that form of education.

I’d characterise my private school experience as my parents paying for me to be bullied by the teachers. I went to state 6th form by demand. My school wrote a reference that was so bad they showed it to me at my interview.

12 o levels 4 a levels etc not a slacker. Just a bit lively at a feepaying school in Surrey.

it’s worse at posh schools where they teach you to despise your parents for not being ‘U’ enough. Marina Hyde good on Sunak at private school the other day in the Guardian.

one reason I never had kids is because I could not bear the thought of sending them to school. My poor parents scrimped and saved to send me.

Both my parents were privately educated and had funds to send me and sibling to private school but chose not to for social, moral and political reasons. I sort of wish I had been able to as I can see the difference in my cousins who all went to private school. I also happened to work with a lot of privately educated people a few years ago and they just had an incredible confidence that I think comes from going to private school. Everyone I know who was privately educated has it.

What do you mean by new money? People who went to state schools, made a lot of money and are choosing state schools for their own children? People perhaps who had good experiences at state schools and are happy for their own kids to go to them?
What do you feel people with new money are missing out on?

@Catofthesouth what does U mean here please?

It must be hard for adults who went to private schools who now can’t afford to send their DC to them.

My kids went to state primary, private primary and secondary then state primary, grammar school.

The private school was shit. The parents were bitchy and bullying. The teachers were either amazing or awful. The head was a thieving pillock. Bullying from kids in both state primary and private schools.

I’ve taught in state and private. Dh had taught in state and private. My dc have experience of both. There is very little I value you about private education. When I worked in state, everything was about the kids and about learning. When I worked in private, everything was about the parents. It was so bizarre.

Sure, but it’s a biased decision and still doesn’t mean it’s ’best’. At the end of the day, no individual can go through both the private system and the state system and discover what the outcomes would have been to objectively compare its value.

You’re probably best asking this question on one of the (many, MANY) private school threads.

Just to be clear. Girls only. Uniform infractions my worst crime. Never delivered homework late or swore at teacher. Would roll eyes on occasion.

My two friends who are private school teachers (in different schools) share this view.

I am going to save up to offer private 6th form if I can't afford secondary (which is likely!)
I wonder if it would hinder their uni applications

I went to both a state secondary and a private secondary. The biggest difference was how much safer I felt at my private school. I wasn't worried that I was going to have to witness or be subjected to any threatening or violent behaviour. Everything was much calmer.

If you've gone from a state school to an elite university dominated by public school kids, you're certainly well aware of the gaping chasm between their education and your own.

I'm ambivalent about sending my DC to private schools, insofar as private schools are set up to produce arrogant wankers natural leaders. All my DC were homeschooled for as long as possible.