To think unless you’ve been to private school you don’t really understand why it’s so valuable?

[huopp]

I have so many people telling me the state system is fine, a private school just has better facilities, that the teachers aren’t any better, that the extra curricular stuff can be done after school at a state school but at a different venue etc etc…

whilst all the above is true, it isn’t what makes a private education valuable? And that you have to actually have lived it, been to one, to get the whole experience it gives you across the board and not just academically?

i think this is why a lot of people with ‘new money’ don’t always spend it on school fees. In contrast those who have been privately educated mostly want the same for their children.

Interesting. I want mine to grow up well educated, well behaved, respectful and well mannered.

You walk around (some) state schools and the uniforms are a mess, crooked ties, scuffed shoes, children with half shaved heads and ridiculous lines shaved in. They are shouting, swearing. There is an energy.

You turn up to a private school snd the teenagers are neatly dressed, respectable looking, calmer, confident. Pleased to help, walking sensibly, playing sports or mysic and proud to be successful...

The amount of drug-taking and mental health issues at private schools would put me right off. Private education messes you up.

DH and I were both privately educated and chose to send our DC to state although could have afforded private. Having been to private school has only convinced me more that it is unnecessary. I think my going to Oxbridge was due to intelligence and parental support and that had I attended a state school the outcome would have been the same.

Having worked in a private, independent day and boarding school - the small class sizes are a definite bonus in the excellent exam results that were achieved. Staff had no more than 12 students to teach per lesson.

I wasn’t aware that hair cuts equalled a lower subset of society. Do tell us more about which physical attributes signal ‘not good enough’.

What utter tosh. I went to a very good private school and had a great experience. I can well afford to privately educate my own children, but have sent them all to state schools because I’m ideologically opposed to private education.

What is this 'so much more' then??

I personally think it's code for not having to mix with the proletariat unless someone wants to explain?

Mine was like this - it really did mean you forged close bonds, teachers knew you and anything you didn't understand was picked up and worked through.

Sizes are bigger these days but I do think that had a huge effect and is really what should be being aimed for.

Privately educated here. I think the point is, why don’t all children deserve the extra stuff that it gets you, not just the academic stuff. If private school didn’t give children an advantage through networking, extra activities and school name, parents would not bother. We should build a school system where all children are able to maximise opportunities available to them rather than the 7% of children who are privately educated.

Not all private schools are great. I didn't go to one, but I've taught in two. One would absolutely have been worth the money. The other one I wouldn't have sent my dc to for free.

Do you speak with an RP/ standard accent in English?

Then private is worth it. Just one example of privilege that you probably don't realise

I wasn’t aware that hair cuts equalled a lower subset of society. Do tell us more about which physical attributes signal ‘not good enough’.

^

I'll bite

No kid called Rupert has tram lines in his hair

I went to Private school on a full scholarship and it opened a different world for me, I will always be very grateful I went.
My DH went to an excellent State school that had recently converted from Grammar and was firmly of the opinion that there was no value in Private education and our DC would be fine at State Secondary (were at State Primary).
When DD hit Y6 we started doing the rounds of the local Secondaries, both State and Private.
DH changed his mind very quickly and DD went Private.
He thought all State Secondaries were like the one he went to in the 80's, the ones we had a chance of getting into were very different.

Genuine question, would you have stuck to your ideals in the only State option was in SM and you KNEW it wouldn't be suitable for your DC?

Come on, every thread about private schools has state school users saying they hate extra curriculars and don't understand why private school parents want them, don't think networking is fair (I have never seen networking in my school year, possibly for the parents? but Eton probably does this) and that academic results from private schools either don't mean anything because they are spoon fed or that they aren't the be all and end all. It seems increasingly that state school parents DO NOT want their kids to go to these types of schools. They like their kids schools more.

☺️

So you agree that private schools do not have better teachers, nor do they have facilities which can't be accessed elsewhere. Rather, you suggest the "value" of a private education is about other, non-academic, benefits. I would make the exact same argument for why a state school education is preferable. As a teacher, tutor, and parent of 3, it is my opinion that state schools produce more well-rounded, resiliant, and tolerant members of society. Money can't buy those qualities, only experience.

😂

Goodness me. Lines shaved in their heads. The horror!

At DDs state school they all roll their skirts ip, until told off.

Yet she has absolutely thrived, and every year many pupils head off to excellent opportunities including Oxbridge/RG unis.

DD has struggled academically due to various SEN, and has had an amazing level of support and opportunity.

i think this is why a lot of people with ‘new money’ don’t always spend it on school fees. In contrast those who have been privately educated mostly want the same for their children.

My experience has been the direct opposite of this.

I went to a private school. My children don’t, although we could afford it.

Ideologically, it angers me that the country should be a meritocracy, but we select ‘the best’ education on the basis of the ability of the parents to pay, rather than the ability of the child.

It irritates me that by lifting the children of the rich and influential out of the state system, we also remove the political imperative to resource state education properly.

It’s eye opening how private education is very much one size fits all. If you’re not already bright, confident, sporty and smart, you won’t fit in. And if there’s even a hint of dragging down the grades, they’ll start thinking about how to manage you out. Need support to get into Oxbridge? They’ve got you. Support to get 5 GCSEs at grade C and above? Not so much. Support for neurodiversity? You’re joking, aren’t you?

Most of all though, the main reason I don’t send my kids private is that many private school alumni haven’t actually learned the difference between ‘confident’ and ‘wanker’. I’d rather my kids turned out to be confident, but with more tolerance and empathy.

I was privately educated and think it was a total waste of money. There is nothing that would make me pay for my children's education as they have no need for it and we are lucky to be surrounded by some fantastic state schools.

I sent my DC to our local state school despite it having an RI Ofsted throughout the time they have been there (upgraded to good the year DD left). I don't care much what the flawed system that is Ofsted says.

My strong belief is that how you bring your children up and educate them at home is much more important that what school they attend.

People saying they want their DC to be polite and well mannered. So bring them up like that it isn't the schools job FFS.

Confidence: talk to your kids and listen to their opinions. Encourage some debate. We talk about what's in the news, the election, what they learnt in lessons etc every day over dinner and my DC can hold their own and make an argument.

If my DC had been horribly bullied and it couldn't be resolved or they had SEN and their needs weren't being met I would have considered private despite my principles but other than that I consider it a waste of money. Emperors new clothes stuff.

My husband is in touch with a lot of his school friends, good old boarding school trauma bond, all of those with children (all but two) have chosen state education.