private school fees - has anyone negotiated a discount/worked out better ways to manage payments?

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Hi all,

Namechanged and would very much appreciate any advice. Due to a change in circumstances ,paying school fees for our three kids is becoming a huge struggle for us. We have to pay for a family member's care and it's been a very bad few years for DH's industry.

We can just about manage to keep them there for the moment - they are at key stages in their education and it would be heartbreaking to pull them out right now. The younger two can go to great local state options for sixth form if they have to - but meanwhile, we are draining our savings and the future looks quite worrying...

Our kids have been at the school for many, many years and do brilliantly there. They love it and we love it. The bursar has been very helpful and has expressed they are keen to keep the kids at the school. Quite rightly, given we DO have some savings and own our house, we don't qualify for a bursary. They don't do sibling discounts. My understanding is that there is a fairly hefty cash reserve there to help existing pupils whose circumstances change drastically - ie in the case of parental death - but again, this doesn't apply to us. The bursar is very sympathetic and wants to look at ways to help, but I am slightly at a loss as to what might be possible or what I might suggest!

Has anyone been in this situation? Has anyone been offered help of any kind, or worked anything out with the school?

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I know we are in an extremely fortunate position already, and yes I know there are brilliant state options and this whole system isn't fair. But it's the road we have gone down and my children are having a wonderful school life where they are, so I am trying desperately to find ways to preserve that. Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice.

It doesn’t really sound like you are struggling if considering paying in advance using savings is an option?! Some people will have little savings and pay fees from income- this doesn’t mean they’re better off than you. It’s either move the children or pay using savings.

Surely your children come before the 'family member'? You are responsible for your children before you are them. The family member can either use their own money for a care home, if they have none, the state will pay.
I wouldn't disrupt my children's education so a relative can live in a specific care home.
Negotiate on the fee's, a lot of families do, ask for a 10% all round.

Find it surprising they don't offer any sibling discount especially with3 kids there ours offers 10% imagine that would be a big help maybe request that just for a short time??

@rochethenut I think you are giving out a lot of misinformation. Only around 70% of private schools are charities, the rest, including some very well known schools are not beholden to the CC and can do what they like with their money as long as they follow their own constitution. My DDs school offered 100% scholarhsips just 10 years ago although I confess I don't know if they still do.

You have savings....

Just one thing you said about using up savings being a worry in case one of you got ill, do you not have critical illness insurance? If not, you might look into getting some.

i never said that schools can’t offer 100% academic scholarships 😐

Either use your savings or move your children. I think it's shocking you'd try and get bursaries or help from the school that could go to another child whose parents don't have savings and therefore wouldn't otherwise be able to go. Entitled and selfish.

Oh crikey, surely people don't put 3 kids in private school without some sort of critical illness cover?! At a conservative estimate, a posh London day school is going to be 20K per year per child. If you don't do private primary, secondary alone will cost you £420K in total for 3 kids over 7 years. The mind boggles at how anyone who isn't completely loaded would enter into this sort of commitment without ensuring they were covered if illness forced a substantial loss of income. It also begs the question of whether ANY sort of education is worth this sort of money to ordinary families. I know that's a separate question, but I just can't get my head around how people afford it!

If it comes down to it, Y8 into Y9 is probably the last "good" stage to move a child. I fully appreciate not wanting to, but if it were me I would do a sit down plan with finances for the next 3-5 years and work out if you can definitely afford to stay at this school. I would factor in 10% fee rises on top of the potential VAT- if they are less, then at least you have budgeted for them, and have a bit of spare cash.

If it is doable but tight to stay at the school then that's great. Obviously, it may mess you up financially, but you can make the decision as to whether to suck it up or not.

If it is not doable when savings run out, then I would move them either now or at the end of this year, either to a cheaper school/one that offers scholarships, or to a state option given you say you have good ones nearby. I think a planned move at the end of Y8 is far far better than a move in a panic a term into GCSE work because you have overstretched yourselves.

At the point you're considering a move seriously, you could go back to the bursar and the head and say that you are going to have to pull them out at X date, and is there absolutely nothing they can do?

The other option is obviously to stop paying for the relative's care?

Actually, I think Y9 may be the stage when OP is most likely to find 2 places- because this is another stage when some children move to private etc. There's also the option to appeal etc for a place even if a school is "full" (obviously not guaranteed, but definitely worth a try).

It's definitely more likely than part way through Y10 when almost no-one wants to move schools!

They probably won't need to find 2 spaces anyway. Many/most admission rules allow for taking a second win as 'excepted' child.

OP - you can move your year 8 children.

Yes, I thought that too- if they have space for one twin, they will very likely have to take the other as well.

If it were me, I'd definitely rather move them now/end of this year, rather than wait and end up in a crisis. Could the situation with the business get worse, for example?

But it also sounds a bit like a question of priorities- Private School vs Savings vs Paying for Care. I think OP has to pick one, or maybe 2, and can't have all three?

Sorry, just checked. It was @Araminta1003 that said that.

50 per cent scholarship was the max under HMC rules. Above that it has to be means tested, that is what the schools in the HMC agreed amongst themselves.

HMC comprise only 300 of 2500 independent schools in the UK. How many of the others follow its rules?

Probably most of those that are registered charities because they have to show public benefit.