private school fees - has anyone negotiated a discount/worked out better ways to manage payments?

[redscissors3]

Hi all,

Namechanged and would very much appreciate any advice. Due to a change in circumstances ,paying school fees for our three kids is becoming a huge struggle for us. We have to pay for a family member's care and it's been a very bad few years for DH's industry.

We can just about manage to keep them there for the moment - they are at key stages in their education and it would be heartbreaking to pull them out right now. The younger two can go to great local state options for sixth form if they have to - but meanwhile, we are draining our savings and the future looks quite worrying...

Our kids have been at the school for many, many years and do brilliantly there. They love it and we love it. The bursar has been very helpful and has expressed they are keen to keep the kids at the school. Quite rightly, given we DO have some savings and own our house, we don't qualify for a bursary. They don't do sibling discounts. My understanding is that there is a fairly hefty cash reserve there to help existing pupils whose circumstances change drastically - ie in the case of parental death - but again, this doesn't apply to us. The bursar is very sympathetic and wants to look at ways to help, but I am slightly at a loss as to what might be possible or what I might suggest!

Has anyone been in this situation? Has anyone been offered help of any kind, or worked anything out with the school?

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I know we are in an extremely fortunate position already, and yes I know there are brilliant state options and this whole system isn't fair. But it's the road we have gone down and my children are having a wonderful school life where they are, so I am trying desperately to find ways to preserve that. Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice.

I think you need to stop thinking of the bursar as lovely, and from now on as a hard nosed business provider who will be happy to throw your kids out of their school as soon as the money stops.

Ask for a sibling discount.

Rather than spreading the costs over a longer period, surely you want to pay up front? Ask if you can pay fees for your eldest years now from savings so that they are covered before the VAT increases come in. Start going to see state sixth forms for your youngest ones now, get you all used to the idea. Clean your savings out now, then once the eldests place is paid for, start building up savings again.

I mean, I don't think the 'lovely' bursar will be too keen on letting you pay up front because it's a direct cost to them, but you need to ask.

Can you reduce the care costs or check if relative qualifies for any benefits to cover their own care?

You haven't got much to lose by asking for a siblings discount.
Otherwise I would be pulling the younger two out as soon as is practicable.

@HoneyMobster - thank you. We did look at fees in advance but it makes little sense financially I think - I need to look at this further though, particularly as it might be a way to swerve the VAT when it comes in.

@BumpyaDaisyevna - thank you! I am prone to worrying about the future a bit excessively but maybe I just need to bite the bullet and accept the situation.

Puzzled as to why you can't use your savings to pay for school fees or if you want to play the system, take a chuck off your mortgage for a double win of lower payments and qualify for bursary. Most people don't have any savings and survive without the luxury of a significant asset in a London property and inevitable fat pension

can you get a job at the school and then get the staff discount on fees?

You are unlikely to get a sibling discount I imagine they can fill the places 5 x over…

I was at top 5 uk school…. When my parents were struggling and made enquiries at some other schools, the school made them an offer / did them a deal…

if you are in London I’d be looking at the “good end” of state options
Henrietta Barnet, QE boys, London oratory etc for your younger ones with a view to switch at 6th form.
this can actually work in favour for oxbridge these days.

you don’t have to send them but you SHOULD create options in case circs deteriorate further.

it will also let the school know “you mean business” and an offer may be more forthcoming at that point…

I don’t really see it as being any different to paying into a pension to avoid tax. You’re tying up some of your assets to save money in the long run. Or using a salary sacrifice scheme to stay under the child benefit cut off. You use the options available to you to the maximum benefit as long as it’s not illegal.

Can you remortgage? It's a sound investment in your children's future?

If you do have savings or take a loan, you could consider asking the bursar if he would give you a discount if made a lump sum payment up front to cover all the future fees. It would have the added bonus of avoiding future increases whether for VAT or in general. You could then relax in the knowledge that your DCs could finish their education and you pay the loan or mortgage off over a longer period.

No, but I did threaten to take the final instalment of fees to the bursar in small change. Pennies.

A few years later, he and I were in the same Creative Writing group. He wrote bodice-rippers. 😂

I would ask the headteacher to meet you and explain the situation - my daughter’s indie girls school did a deal for her friend when family circumstances changed - if it’s a critical stage of their education it’s in the school’s interest too to find a solution. And your DC sound like an asset to the school! If’s unusual not to get sibling discount for starters. There also might be a scholarship or bursary they can come up with. I wouldn’t take out a loan

If you have savings, I have no sympathy. Use them. I have been in a similar position and we stretched ourselves well beyond this point.

There’s a tax efficient scheme whereby the grandparents can pay the children's school fees. Look it up, assuming they can help out ? And assuming that they are not the ones your having to financially support as mentioned in your original post.

https://www.hcrlaw.com/blog/tax-efficient-ways-for-grandparents-to-contribute-to-school-fees/

the ship has well and truly sailed re pension and putting in to trust

why?

the school already know about the savings!!

a school that doesn’t offer academic scholarships??!!

Yes, the obvious thing to do if you want to keep them at the current school is to use your savings. Also, do not vote Labour. That stupid VAT tax on education is just pure envy and would not help the state schools. The super rich are not sweating it. A small taster of what is coming for people hard earned savings.

If the school want to help you then they will offer you a discount. They probably won't If they don't need to. Sounds like you have savings that will pay the fees but you don't want to use them for this. The school know this. They know you don't want to move your kids.

Ultimately you need to decide what is more important. Is it keeping the kids in the school or is it having some savings? I would move the kids or at least the younger ones and that's that. All this hand wringing sounds pointless.

I also love how people tell you that the charity status of these schools is just in name only and that they are businesses. Of course they are hence why they should be treated like businesses by the treasury.

this.
And the division between the rich and the poor will become bigger and wider by doing this move.

In a time of uncertainty and economic instability Labour is doing its best to wreck the little that’s left in the country that the Conservatives haven’t yet destroyed.

Meh

OK OP, breathe. You are doing a great think for your kids and for your relative. It seems at the moment that you’re OK, although it’s going to eliminate your savings. I totally get where your coming from re the uncertainty but please take confidence and comfort from the fact that you have got this far.

i would do a couple of things - first review your current budget - are there things you can reduce - DH and I knocked about 300 a month off my renegotiating regular costs.

second, work on a long term coast. For example - when will your savings be exhausted and what would that then mean in terms of a bursary? What will likely uni costs be ? How long will you likely have to work post school and Uni costs ?

third talk to the bursur. If you would get to a point where you couldn’t pay fees out of day to day income, could he agree that he will consider a bursary when your savings are lower?

do consider a levels elsewhere for younger two. It’s relatively common to do this at this age (I did although in reverse) and I kept both my friendship groups. Others will know more but it could also be helpful in terms of Uni access.

you’ve got this. It’s just not what you planned

DD1 when she was at private school, had a bursary from the school and a bursary from a local education charity.

Are there any other funds available the bursar could sign post?

The bursar is being polite. If they had intentions of "helping" it would be done. Harsh as it sounds, pupils are replaceable. They are numbers on a spreadsheet. However much a school gushes over your pupils- if you don't pay they won't miss them. I say this having come through private school and working in them.

Absolutely, came on to say this.

A couple of things come to my mind;

• lots of people will have few savings and be living pretty much hand-to-mouth whilst paying fees. They might not mention it, but it’s a fact. The fact that you previously had decent savings and will runs them down to pay school fees, is quite simply a choice you can make or not make. The cash is there in savings. Using it for school fees or using house equity for school fees might not be what you want to do with the money or equity, but it is an option for you. Lots pay for school fees through these means, and on the most basic level there’s no reason why hey should do this and you should be given financial help from school, so that you can maintain your savings and equity.
• Despite what you think about what individual schools ‘do’ re discounts, sibling rates etc etc, schools actually have flexibility to respond to circumstances as they arise and as they choose. All kinds of 1-off arrangements and temporary helps for those with some kind of struggle will be in place that you’re unaware of. So a sibling discount or a reduction for a year or whatever is possible….but the school won’t just instantly offer it and won’t want to offer it if you have savings or equity…and as said above, we’ll why should they when others fund their fees in this way? But if you got to the point where you’ve run those down and genuinely have no means to pay, they probably will help you to get the kids to the end of the next exam phase - so to GCSE stage or whatever.

I can see that running down your savings when you’ve previously had a comfortable safety net is unnerving. You wanted the money for other stuff. But if you’re mid-phase for those in exam years, this is probably the emergency you saved for and not a bad use of the money, if the end is in sight and you can plan for the good state option for sixth form for some of them. Your financial difficulties just put you in a different position to before. Before you could pay fees, live the lifestyle and have savings. Well now it sounds like you can still scrape together the fees but your lifestyle and savings will be afffected. For lots of people something happens to wreck everything and that’s not a situation you’re in.

Re VAT, lots of people and schools will be screwed if this happens. It might not happen and if it does it might not be for a while. I’d be thinking about getting the sixth former to the end of their A Levels and the younger ones to thee nod of their GCSEs if they’ve already started, and out sooner if they haven’t yet. Presumably this means a couple of years of struggling on and running down the savings. As you say, there are more years ahead to save up again. Uni might require the £5k parental contribution per student per year, that’s needed for those who don’t get the full maintenance loan due to income being too high, but the standard loans for the rest is available.

Has the bursar arranged to speak to you again with a specific plan or or the suggestions already made the end of the conversation? I’m. It quite clear if you’ve been offered all they will offer or more might be available. Expect to have to divulge everything and that you’re expected to use your savings before they will give sizeable discounts….as you say, itsonly fair.

I agree with this. You are customers to them at the end of the day - sure they want to keep you but they also want to make a profit.