private school fees - has anyone negotiated a discount/worked out better ways to manage payments?

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Hi all,

Namechanged and would very much appreciate any advice. Due to a change in circumstances ,paying school fees for our three kids is becoming a huge struggle for us. We have to pay for a family member's care and it's been a very bad few years for DH's industry.

We can just about manage to keep them there for the moment - they are at key stages in their education and it would be heartbreaking to pull them out right now. The younger two can go to great local state options for sixth form if they have to - but meanwhile, we are draining our savings and the future looks quite worrying...

Our kids have been at the school for many, many years and do brilliantly there. They love it and we love it. The bursar has been very helpful and has expressed they are keen to keep the kids at the school. Quite rightly, given we DO have some savings and own our house, we don't qualify for a bursary. They don't do sibling discounts. My understanding is that there is a fairly hefty cash reserve there to help existing pupils whose circumstances change drastically - ie in the case of parental death - but again, this doesn't apply to us. The bursar is very sympathetic and wants to look at ways to help, but I am slightly at a loss as to what might be possible or what I might suggest!

Has anyone been in this situation? Has anyone been offered help of any kind, or worked anything out with the school?

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I know we are in an extremely fortunate position already, and yes I know there are brilliant state options and this whole system isn't fair. But it's the road we have gone down and my children are having a wonderful school life where they are, so I am trying desperately to find ways to preserve that. Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice.

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That was my thinking, when I asked if OP worked.

Until you are down to a minimal level of savings I'm not sure the school would help tbh. As said above there will be a fair few parents struggling to meet the bills.
Can one of your younger children move to a different school earlier? What years are the younger 2 in?

It seems quite simple, you have the savings so either use them to pay the fees or leave the school and choose not to pay the fees. You don't qualify for any help because you have the money available to pay the fees you would just rather not use it 🤔. You're in a better position than many who will be paying fees term by term without such savings as back up.

This is clearly how the rich stay rich isn't it. You have the money. It's in savings that the majority of people don't have, or in your mortgage. You can afford this. You just want to get it cheaper so you can keep hold of your wealth. I don't have any sympathy to be honest. You can make this work in a number of ways if you want to ; this is a choice you have already made that many don't. Bursaries should be kept for those without mortgages and savings.

Why are you paying for care? If your family member doesn't have funds, the burden should pass to the LA, not you?

When I was at private school and our family circumstances changed the school offered me an additional academic scholarship but my Dad also applied for an external financial contribution from a kind of benefactor who had bestowed some money to deserving students. I'm not sure how they were put in touch, as in whether it was through the school or not, but you could ask the bursar if they know of anything like this. I remember writing him a letter to when I received my A-Level results to thank him. Again not sure if your children would be considered if you have savings you could use. Our family circumstances were a bit less favourable!

I do have some sympathy, OP, but this does smack of wanting your cake and eating it...

objectively, it is odd that you think a school should give you a discount when you have the money to pay their fees. Why would they do this?

You have money in an account. The school provide a service for money. Why would they agree you should keep the money in your account and not pay for their service?

You are feeling way too sorry for yourself. You are not entitled to three children in private school, lots of savings and so on. These are decisions you made and you’ll need to cut your cloth.

Does the school offer a discount for paying the full years' fees in advance? If you have the money saved anyway it might make sense to try pay in one go and ask for a discount?

Some schools don't offer academic scholarships.

My kids go to a school that offer fairly nominal academic scholarships (5/10%) but these are determined at the time of the entry test, not given out year by year

Yes, and not all schools offer this. One out of the four schools my dd applied to last year (and the most academic) does not offer academic scholarships. In fact, her school does not offer any scholarships at 11+ entry and no academic scholarships at all. But they offer music and art from 16+.

@SamPoodle123 oh, I agree. Mine was more a reply to those suggesting that the OP could get one or more mid-school life - even if her school did them, I would assume that they would be “used up” by now.

We pay monthly but over nine months which we find great for budgeting as we have three months with significantly reduced outgoings. During those three months we use the spare cash add to our savings, carry out home improvements etc.

How much equity do you have in your house? If you have a fair amount you could release some and use it towards fees.

Ah yes, this makes sense.

@GreatGateauxsby not the point of the thread, but in case it helps the OP, it is important to clarify that you cannot ‘game’ Oxbridge entry by switching to a state sixth form which your post implies. It is also reducing the achievements of students who win a place from both sectors. Oxbridge want the brightest kids and GCSE results are one of the entry factors which are assessed as well as predicted A level grades. However, The applicants GCSE results are judged against the cohort of kids who went to the same school in the same year. So switching to a state school for yr 12 does not alter the fact that you sat your GCSEs at an independent school. If your child gained all 8’s and 9’s at a highly academic grammar or independent school (and is not a bursary recipient)but so did the majority of the year then that is (quite rightly) deemed to be less of an achievement than the child who has attended a state comp where maybe access to all of the academic advantages was not possible and they still got all 8’s and 9’s and the rest of the year achieved 5 ‘good’ passes. Postcodes are also a factor if a contextual offer is to be made. This is the current situation ( I have a DC going through the process as we speak). It may have been different in prior years but it is not the case now.

With respect to the OP’s question, I once tried to pay up front for more than one year’s fees as interest rates were low and was told I’d still be liable for the annual fee rise anyway. So no point. It is worth asking though. Also consider if there is a fee rise for the sixth form at your DC’s school (there is a substantial rise at ours)

Other measures (and I think you are trying to find several £000 a month?):

1. could you rent out your house and take a smaller one for the next couple of years and use the money freed up to pay the fees?
2. Get your DC to share and rent out a room? It’s tax free
3. You and your DH to Get an evening job/side income?
4. Rent out your house during holidays and stay with family?
5. use your house as a film location?
6. Rent out your car when you are not using it?
7. Rent out your driveway if you have one and are near a station?
8. Do you have any skills that would lend to paid tuition being a possibility?

I think if you are not willing to use the savings or compromise in other areas, then I don’t think you have much of an option but to withdraw the younger two and ask for help with the eldest. You will not be able to transfer in year 11 so any younger children need to be settled before y9/10 or removed after y11.

@OP you haven't said what school years your DC are in. Unless they are at a REALLY critical stage, I'd move them. It sounds like they are bright and capable kids who will do well anyway. Putting yourselves into penury for the sake of private education, which, being objective, is the preserve of a tiny minority, seems bonkers to me. Loads of kids come out of state schools with all 9s at GCSE - your kids will be fine and you won't risk financial disaster. I'm sure the bursar was nice but at a prestigious London independent they won't struggle to find other academic kids to fill those places, so there's just no reason for the school to start making concessions to you that they haven't for any other families.

Sounds like eldest is already in 6th form?

Obvious one to me is remortgaging/releasing equity? Obviously that depends on how much equity you have in your property but we released £75k earlier this year to support with school fees (still leaving 50% equity/c£230k in the house which feels comfortable). We don't need this money for 5 years so it's currently earning a nice rate of interest.

Ops not been back recently. I don't think they were interested in looking at care fees/alternate schools/remortgaging/ or in fact finding any way where they actually have to use savings or pay themselves...

The eldest is in y12/13.
What year are the other two?

Is the youngest y9 or below? In which case they maybe could be moved without massive impact.

Worst case you have y12, y11 and y10 I guess which is 5 terms, 2 terms and 5 terms - so 12 terms in total.

Indeed. Reading through I actually get the impression the house might be owned outright? Talk of no debt and owning a home. An assumption of course but a London property owned outright plus savings doesn't really smack of being in a perilous situation.

The way I read this is that OP wants to keep her children at private school but their family income has dropped and is no longer funding it, so they are now having to dip into their (ample) reserves.

Sorry to be harsh - but if this is the case then I'm puzzled why anyone should care.

Saying you can’t drain your savings as you have to plan for university is not going to impress the bursar! You have signed up to pay them thousands of pounds, you have the money. Saying ‘but I need it in the future for something else’ isn’t on. I understand you might not have money to see all the dc through to the end but that’s a different point. Either do everything you can to keep them all there until after GCSEs (drain savings to 0, re mortgage) or move the youngest ones.

most people in the country don’t have money locked away for university fees. Most people don’t have much savings at all. I’m sorry your circumstances have changed but you are not downtrodden - you are now just normal.