private school fees - has anyone negotiated a discount/worked out better ways to manage payments?

[redscissors3]

Hi all,

Namechanged and would very much appreciate any advice. Due to a change in circumstances ,paying school fees for our three kids is becoming a huge struggle for us. We have to pay for a family member's care and it's been a very bad few years for DH's industry.

We can just about manage to keep them there for the moment - they are at key stages in their education and it would be heartbreaking to pull them out right now. The younger two can go to great local state options for sixth form if they have to - but meanwhile, we are draining our savings and the future looks quite worrying...

Our kids have been at the school for many, many years and do brilliantly there. They love it and we love it. The bursar has been very helpful and has expressed they are keen to keep the kids at the school. Quite rightly, given we DO have some savings and own our house, we don't qualify for a bursary. They don't do sibling discounts. My understanding is that there is a fairly hefty cash reserve there to help existing pupils whose circumstances change drastically - ie in the case of parental death - but again, this doesn't apply to us. The bursar is very sympathetic and wants to look at ways to help, but I am slightly at a loss as to what might be possible or what I might suggest!

Has anyone been in this situation? Has anyone been offered help of any kind, or worked anything out with the school?

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I know we are in an extremely fortunate position already, and yes I know there are brilliant state options and this whole system isn't fair. But it's the road we have gone down and my children are having a wonderful school life where they are, so I am trying desperately to find ways to preserve that. Thanks so much for any thoughts or advice.

are you factoring in VAt increase?

The bursar will be able to help with advice?

how much equity in your home.

Release some?

Do you currently pay termly or monthly?

I am not sure what the problem is - you have savings, use them?

A different payment timetable - paying in smaller installments over a longer period. That's the only thing it might be reasonable to ask of the school.

Other than that, use your savings or take out a loan.

A girl in our extended family was given a full scholarship to her public school when her dad went bankrupt. She was exceptionally bright, even in that school. Will your school allow you to pay in instalments? I think you have three choices - use your savings, take out a second mortgage or move the children.
The other comment I have is that if you don’t pay for your family member’s care, then presumably social services will. To put it bluntly, you are over committed. I know the pressure to support elderly family members but I’m afraid I always refused as, like school fees, the only way is up and, unlike school fees, you don’t Know how long for. I hope you can sort something out.

@rochethenut - yes factoring that in. Any thoughts on when that might be implemented would be helpful too - I am hearing both that it will take at least an academic year to legislate in once Labour win, and also that it could be rolled out pretty much immediately.

@PammieDooveOrangeJoof - they have offered the option of paying each terms fees monthly. That is a teeny bit helpful but not enormously.

@TheSuggestedAmendment - yes. But we will be pretty much down to zilch in terms of savings which scares me - however, we have no debt so that is good news. I know we've got at least another 15 years of work ahead of us and can build savings up again, but it is alarming. What if one of us loses our job or gets ill, for example?

Is the oldest already in sixth form? If so, presumably there's only 5 terms of fees left to be paid for them? Will things get more manageable when they go on to uni (bear in mind you will probably have to give some financial help at uni)?

Could you ask the school if you could spread their payments over a longer period, to slightly reduce the payments you are making at the moment?

Alternatively, can you look at other finance options e.g. going interest only on your mortgage for a period of time, or extending the term of your mortgage?

It does sound like you can't really afford 3 sets of fees + paying for care- ultimately which is more important to you?

I'm assuming you've factored in the fact that fees will probably go up again in September 2024, maybe by a hefty amount, even before you consider VAT? Can you afford that if things stay as they are?

If not, it may be worth looking around for the youngest/ youngest 2 now- to at least consider alternative options? I'd say if you have to move, a planned move in September is better than a mid year move in a panic.

so when you say struggling to pay

are you struggling to pay current fees? or that you will struggle if any increase at all?

@compactopera - that is a good option and something the bursar has suggested we can look at. Has anyone else done this?

does next year look more promising for your husbands business?

Downsize your house

when you say longer period - do you mean to continue after the child has left the school?

I would ask for a sibling discount - I know they don’t generally do them, but that seems like a good way to try and negotiate. Unless you are somewhere very grand, I’m guessing their rival schools do.

Also, I’d get your kids used to the idea they will switch to state for 6th form - good for them in many ways anyway - and I do think 11-16 are the key years to pay if you can.

@rochethenut - well, we can just about keep paying the fees for now from savings. VAT will be a complete killer.

It's more that it leaves us in quite a risky position, particularly as we've got to plan for 3 of then at uni as well. In terms of a bursary scale, our current income with three kids does put us in the eligible bracket - but because of existing savings we are not, if that makes sense. Just trying to work out ways to handle it, and wondering if anyone had been in a similar position.

Savings. Or you may have to move them. Or if you've got a savings plan for them for university perhaps you need to cash that in?

VAT will be a complete killer.

OP - i would plan on keeping the eldest there until the end but moving the younger two.
If you are seriously struggling now… 3x labour increases will be the death knoll

most do do sibling discounts

but they are very small ie 5% for the second and 10% for the third

You could ask for sibling discount, use your savings, take out a loan, stop paying the care fees or move the children to state schools
What year group are your dc in?

@theduchessofspork - I think if there was any possibility of a sibling discount the lovely bursar would have said. I don't know if any rival schools offer this either in all honesty - ours is among the most sought after schools in the UK (dozens of applicants per place) - they've got enough people able to pay full fees without offering discounts for siblings.

This does sting a little bit when we have paid them such an eye-watering sum so far over so many years, and our kids (without meaning to boast 😖) are very academic and really contribute to school life - and the school have made it very clear they want to keep them....

reading between the lines, the bursar is looking for you to help her with reasons she should give you a discount. So:

• as for a sibling discount. Point out what other schools do, even if it is “only” 5-10%
• ask what you would need to do to qualify for nurseries e.g. if you were to put your current savings in trust for the kids university eduction, would you then qualify for a bursary? NB often bursaries come with archaic terms if they have come from trusts, so ask if you meet any of those terms (red-headed son of a merchant navy widow living within the walls of the old city, was one at a particular school I was involved in)

Also wanted to say was paying 3 lots of school fees ever really doable on your family income? Were you already overstretched and now with the change in circumstances it’s become impossible? I only say this because you said with your current income you’d qualify for a bursary
May be for the best long term to move the younger two into state schools

You might also offer to have a bequest written into your will.

OP are there any scholarships available to your DC now?

My DD has a music scholarship and is applying for a boarding scholarship, each give 5% if I remember correctly.

Academic scholarship? Bursar can advise on what might be available or admissions.