Primary school parent volunteers asking for cash for teachers

[LavenderGalileo]

A reception parent class volunteer has said that we all have to (yes have to) give money (yes cash) towards end of year presents, to be split between 10 (yes 10)! teachers including the class teacher and assistants, PE teacher, cook, head, deputy head etc

Naturally, I ignored this and the following reminders.

After again being reminded that only 5 people had donated, it apparently shot up to 15 had as per this email from the parent volunteer

“Hi all

Firstly, thank you to those that have donated so far to the teachers end of year cash/ voucher presents.

I have however only received contributions from 15 of the "children". If you don't want to make a contribution and are going to do your own thing, which as I've said before is totally fine, please do have the courtesy to let me know so that I can take you off the spreadsheet and not be worrying on the last day for example that I might be waiting on last minute donations.

Thanks”

Is it me or is this whole thing insane?! Why do we have to give cash or be permitted by a parent volunteer to “do our own thing”?

Is it not the volunteer who is so rude for implying that simply ignoring the distasteful and highly problematic request is discourteous?

This is a reception class by the way so I’ve bought the teacher and class assistants small gifts and my child will draw and hand write a card… surely that’s appropriate?

This has split the parents about 20/10… Roughly 20 (despite the volunteer claiming 15 donated) think the whole notion is a bit vulgar and a bit of a misunderstanding of volunteer “power”

This was done at Christmas too, with odd amounts flying around like £300 was split to the class teacher; £85 to the school head; £7.50 to the chef… I feel the whole thing is so problematic

The head is well aware of this and basically said at Christmas “well the school isn’t asking the parent volunteer to do this” (rather than “I’m mortified” by this and can see the obvious problems 😂)

What are the thoughts here?

Many schools have anti bribery policies. Maybe not illegal, but £300 would break any schools I've worked at policy for gifts.

I’m always a bit grateful for this sort of thing. Two teachers multiple ta’s, the playground supervisor, lovely office staff. Honestly it feels like a bargain to donate a tenner and everyone gets a nice gift.

Never heard of the head getting a gift as they earn more than everyone else.

Yes that’s quite likely however that doesn’t make such gifts against the law.

Like others we have a whatsapp group and someone will do a collection. It's me this time. The amount is set and has been the same every year. All I did was say if you wish to contribute please do so by x date and I said please don't feel any pressure to join. I will send reminders to show last date and usually there is someone doing it at the 11th hour. I personally find this easier than making/ buying something individually to but others prefer to do their own thing or not do anything. I confirm receipt of every contribution. I prefer to buy gift cards as it maximises what the teacher can choose to buy and I'm not choosing chocolates / wine / cakes which teacher may not like or get several. Also it makes it clearer where the collection has gone. The most I can do to reassure is to send photos of the gift cards and receipts. This time we have £200 between teacher and two part time TA's.

Oh FFS.

It's often the same mum every year because no one else steps up.

No good deed goes unpunished....

Pta parents not only give up their time and energy and often don't get to watch their child's race/performance etc with their full concentration, to raise money to benefit ALL the children with increased funds. They also get to be sneered at too.

It makes so much more sense to contribute money to contribute towards a gift vouture instead of 20 parents giving useless gifts or junk. Some people do not like chocolates, lotions,, wine, soaps, etc. Or if they get flowers by a few parents, it becomes a waste. Just trying to think of the types of gifts someone might give :) It is hard to know what actually might be useful.

I am always so grateful to whichever helpful soul offers to do the teachers' collection at the end of the year. Bung 'em a tenner - job done.

It also means the teachers and TAs usually get a generous amount of useful gift vouchers, that they can spend on whatever they want, rather than 30 "World's Best Teacher" mugs and pens!

I am so much happier to donate to our pta who then coordinate the gifts. It also means that the people who get forgotten aren't missed out.

I see all the tat people take in - candles,.mugs, chocs,.flowers - and know that it would clutter my kitchen in seconds and is have to give it all away.

Far better to get a voucher and choose something yourself.

Gifts over a certain value have to be declared.

I find that off too.

Some of the comments about glory hunting and stealing are frankly insane - I wouldn't want to go through life thinking so little of people for absolutely no reason for trying to do something nice. Most people, prefer a collection and I can promise you I breathe a huge sigh of relief if it's someone else doing it. It's a pain in the arse!

Think parents divided into 2 camps those that think “ooh thanks Lisa for sorting this tedium admin so mrs smith doesn’t get 25 candies another job ticked off” and those that think “that bitch Lisa is at it again scamming parents”.

I and everyone I know irl is in the former camp!

A collection for vouchers is very normal, and typically parents are grateful to the organiser as it's much easier to give a tenner than to think of and but a suitable present. Then the teacher gets a decent voucher rather than 30 boxes of chocolates. Win win.

The organiser needs to know who's contributing so she knows what the total will be and can get the ball rolling on buying the vouchers, cards etc.

Giving cash is weird though.

@TheaBrandt entirely correct. I honestly can’t understand the parents who sneer. They certainly never seem keen to help out but instead are hyper critical of the way others do

I wouldn't mind if someone asked if anyone would like to contribute to an end of year gift, left the donations up to each parent and signed it from everyone involved. Then it's up to the individual, but telling people they have to and the amount is cheeky. I'd just either block her it message to say that I was doing my own thing which I'd had planned for ages.

The bit that annoys me isn't the request for a donation, it's the insistence that you are obliged to reply. Tbf I am a bit awkward on this issue. I keep getting letters from my utility provider telling me they've made an appointment to call out and check my metre. Not with me you haven't. I didn't request it. No, I shan't be calling to rearrange, I'll just ignore. ....which is exactly what I'd do in this case.
I'm glad I'm not a school mum now. I'd probably be the only one not sharing my telephone number.

I hate this sort of thing always felt resentful about it. I always felt it put pressure on parents who might not have been able to afford it. As a teacher myself, I feel the gifts are a bonus not an expectation and if I end up with 30 boxes of celebrations then I'll give them to someone who enjoys them as a present.

That email is one degree lower than a loan shark on skittles.

I mean with the cost of living going up, mortgage costs through roof ( pun intended) and money being scarce for a lot of famillies, I wonder if this 'volunteer' has any awareness whatsoever of the challenges faced by famillies now-days ?

I doubt this very much.

They must be the school volunteer bailiff, it looks like parents had been voluntold and are of course are under no obligation to give them anything even if its just because of the acidic tone of their email.

The volunteer needs to be told to back off, parents will give what they can give and to apologise for their acidic attitude in their email because that was very rude and abrupt.

Class collections have always been the norm at my kids’ primary school. There’s no obligation to join in but most do, mainly because it pays for nicer gifts (vouchers etc) instead of piles of tat, mugs and chocolates.

300 pound to a teacher??wtf??

Fair enough a wee gift and card but that is batshit.

And I'm still laughing at spreadsheet 🤣🤣🤣

What about the realistic middle group who cant afford it and /or feel awkward?

Nobody is grateful to the queen bee for pushing people into situations they dont want to be in.

Just let them know you are not joining? If you actually do it personally or not is no one's business. But if you've received the reminder, at least letting them know you are not contributing is polite gesture, imo.

Then don’t do it. Nothing in the email suggests that making a donation is obligatory. The volunteer is just asking for people to confirm either way so she knows when she’s collected from everyone who wants to participate so she can then go get the vouchers.

People calling the volunteer names really says a lot about those that have a problem with this…

Dont be ridiculous, no it doesnt. It shows we have some thought for other people and are not keen on people riding rough shod over everyone else. Spreadsheet fs.

As for just saying no, I don't think these types of characters really understand the situation they create and how difficult that can be.

She does sound obnoxious but put yourself forward to be class rep next year