Primary school parent volunteers asking for cash for teachers

[LavenderGalileo]

A reception parent class volunteer has said that we all have to (yes have to) give money (yes cash) towards end of year presents, to be split between 10 (yes 10)! teachers including the class teacher and assistants, PE teacher, cook, head, deputy head etc

Naturally, I ignored this and the following reminders.

After again being reminded that only 5 people had donated, it apparently shot up to 15 had as per this email from the parent volunteer

“Hi all

Firstly, thank you to those that have donated so far to the teachers end of year cash/ voucher presents.

I have however only received contributions from 15 of the "children". If you don't want to make a contribution and are going to do your own thing, which as I've said before is totally fine, please do have the courtesy to let me know so that I can take you off the spreadsheet and not be worrying on the last day for example that I might be waiting on last minute donations.

Thanks”

Is it me or is this whole thing insane?! Why do we have to give cash or be permitted by a parent volunteer to “do our own thing”?

Is it not the volunteer who is so rude for implying that simply ignoring the distasteful and highly problematic request is discourteous?

This is a reception class by the way so I’ve bought the teacher and class assistants small gifts and my child will draw and hand write a card… surely that’s appropriate?

This has split the parents about 20/10… Roughly 20 (despite the volunteer claiming 15 donated) think the whole notion is a bit vulgar and a bit of a misunderstanding of volunteer “power”

This was done at Christmas too, with odd amounts flying around like £300 was split to the class teacher; £85 to the school head; £7.50 to the chef… I feel the whole thing is so problematic

The head is well aware of this and basically said at Christmas “well the school isn’t asking the parent volunteer to do this” (rather than “I’m mortified” by this and can see the obvious problems 😂)

What are the thoughts here?

I think YABVVU and bizarre.

You don't HAVE to give anything and she makes it clear in the message.

Itd be polite to let her know you don't plan on contributing (I certainly wouldn't contribute personally, but I'm not mad on teacher gifts) because she will need to know the budget.

Not sure why you're making it into a thing.

I’ve always ignored this shit. I buy
my own gifts and who I want to buy for .
Not be dictated to by these mothers on WhatsApp. We have these mothers too- every year does . 🙄

YANBU. As an ex teacher I would have really hated parents being coerced into donating to a collection. Fortunately I never worked anywhere that happened but I thanked children for the fridge magnets, mugs and key rings. I kept the chocolates in my cupboard for when I needed a lift at the end of the day or shared them with my child (later grandchildren). I drank the wine but sometimes regifted the flowers if I was going away immediately. I've just got to the end of the toiletry gifts 8 years later but they have all been used when packing for holidays and camper van trips. Of course the personally written cards showing appreciation were the best.

They’re not comparable though, are they?

Presumably you don’t tip in restaurants either, as you have already paid their wages by buying the meal.

I agree with you that nobody should feel they have to buy teachers a gift- just not your reasoning!

It was a thing when I started teaching in 1985 but didn't happen when I was a child.

How did d she get your email address?

Did I read correctly that the teacher was given £300 in cash?!?!?😱
That's insane.
I'm also amazed at how many people are saying this is standard.
I've been a teacher for 25 years, gave an 18 and 16 year old who have been through school, and I've never heard of parents grouping together to even give gifts, let alone cash.
I would be absolutely horrified if I opened a card with £300 cash in it, especially in the current climate.

YANBU.

I don't think it would be legal to accept £300 cash. There are rules about what you can accept.

I would take great pleasure in just ignoring this person

The class rep organising the staff gifts is normal and the majority of it being vouchers is also pretty standard so people can get what they want with a small token gift.

Calling a volunteer vulgar for raising funds for teaching staff presents makes no sense. That you’ve posted about it on Mumsnet is even more peculiar…

I don't think it's vulgar or unsual at all. And I'm usually grateful when someone offers. However the chasing and spreadsheet js really not on imo.

Amazed by some of the responses on here, cash gifts for the teacher at Christmas and end of year are entirely normal in many schools and some friends who are teachers have said far better than endless chocolates that you don’t actually like!

That’s interesting. I’ve pretty much only seen vouchers as standard

Collected via a link but definitely no pressure to contribute beyond a done, thanks for organising on the WhatsApp

Inform the school... there shouldn't be spreadsheets made!
I can almost bet that the teachers themselves wouldn't have wanted it.
The 'organiser' wants to look like a hero and bask in glory
Personally, I really don't think people should be asked to contribute at all and maybe make their own presents or give their own money if they wish.

What is the issue...?

OP, are you sure the cash collected from the parents is not going to be used to buy gift cards/vouchers?

We do class collection for end of year. No obligation. Person doing it will buy a voucher with whatever they get and those kids sign the card. Everyone else can do their own thing or nothing. I prefer it as far quicker and easier.

Op I’d just tell them you’re doing your own thing

tbh I’d rather just take 5 mins to send some on an app that think about what to get, if anything

Cash collection by the class rep or form rep at Christmas and end of year has been the absolute norm in my 16 years as a mum of school age children. I recall the days of cash in envelopes before online banking. The gifts are usually vouchers, but not only.

It was standard when mine were at primary & I was grateful someone took on sorting it all out.

£10 was what we gave but I imagine some donated less. People also opted out & got own gift. It was split between loads of staff & teacher would get vouchers plus some sort of hamper.

They are with your children all day & I don't think it's comparable to tipping a taxi driver or waiter - they are also paid a salary.

If you don't want to contribute just message to say that. You are getting a bit worked up about it all.

Legal?

Don’t be absurd.

@LavenderGalileo

I wonder if the person collecting is on Mumsnet? You copied email so I imagine she would recognise the wording.

You’re overreacting OP. This is quite normal. Contribute, don’t contribute. It’s up to you but I’m very grateful to the mums it’s always the mums who do it at my kids school.

The biggest thing you notice with the parents WhatsApp is the tumbleweed noise when someone is a twat.

Ignore. Let her implode with her own bullshit. If people want to whisper about who didn't donate let them. There will be a few parents who just want to do their own thing without announcing it to the world.

I'm pretty sure she has some kind of scam going where she sieves off the cash or gives something she already owns.

That's precisely why I don't do the class collection. Plus even when it was for a close friend and I gently said "I'm not sure that's really her" for a particular gift the parent in question ignored.