Wrong decision for school choice

[Suzebear]

Good evening, I don't want my query to annoy or anger anyone with what I'm asking. I honestly don't know if I'm seeking reassurance or advice. So school choices were provided today and our first choice was granted (I am grateful for that). However, our child has been massively upset since we've told her. The school we were given gets good from Ofsted, relatively small and is on our doorstep. She would have liked a school much further away (two buses each way), much larger but all of her friends are going there. We based choices on the likelihood of getting accepted for a decent school. Her primary school is a feeder school for the secondary school she wanted (we were advised that a feeder school has little impact on being accepted). I have spoken to the LA and they have said they could put her down for the second choice as a late applicant. I completely understand I should be grateful for my application, I am just broken that my kid is so upset by a decision I've made for her. Should I just accept or is it worth trying to see if I can help her change schools? Many thanks

Hi there. So that number includes a sixth form too. I think around 500 are in sixth form. So when I checked today, there pupils aged 11-16 are around 1350. I can't remember how big my school was but in year 7 there were about five forms of about 25 kids per class

I don’t think 2 buses is a deal breaker (I was at a 2 buses away school and honestly it was fine. I’m sure it would have been easier at somewhere nearer but I never had that experience so didn’t have the comparison).

That said, it sounds like you chose your first choice for good reasons and she’s upset because of the shock and the friendship. I don’t think current friendships are a good enough reason to choose a school, transition to secondary school usually throws them up in the air anyway. I wasn’t friends with anyone from my primary school after the first few weeks of secondary.

I agree with you about the friends situation. I guess she's going it alone. It's reassuring you letting me know about your situation regarding your friendship group. I think my daughter would be more upset to be ignored by friends who go to the same school than going to different schools. Today we've been researching more and our choice does better across the board in all subjects compared to the other school (we weren't aware of this at the time of application).

@Suzebear Glad she's feeling better today 😊

Peer pressure is hard to resist when you are young. But stick to your guns. In the summer term secondary schools do taster days for incoming Y 7. She will feel a lot more confident once she has been on a taster day, met up with some fellow newbies, met some of the teachers and realised that a quick walk home means you can stay to after school clubs and activities, walk home with local friends, meet up for homework sessions and be home in time to play with the cat, sit in the sun in the garden, watch a bit of tv before homework. Not to mention a relaxed start in the morning, every morning.

Two buses and a bit of a walk home sounds a pain , it will only take one thing to go wrong, the weather to be awful for it to be a miserable experience. And every morning the rush to get ready to make sure you catch the bus………

Not quite the same but my DS was the only boy on his class to get into his first choice grammar school ( not unusual where we live). Despite warning him this was likely when I did the application, he was really upset when he realised. A couple of days ( plus a lovely welcome letter from the school) and he's remembered why he wanted to go there in the first place.

@Suzebear Hi op , how Is you DD feeling about her high school place now , is she feeling better about it