Let’s do a new “things parents have blamed teachers for “

[Theos]

I’ll start. ALL MENTAL HEALTH. Our fault.
all lost items - our fault.

The best school I worked in for discipline had a really fair, to both students and teachers, system called consequences.

Consequences were C 1 - C5.

C1 - the child's name goes on the board, C2 the name is ticked, C3 is detention. C4-5 were dealt with by SLT. At the end of the lesson the C1 and C2 were wiped from the board.

Detention for behaviour was the same day and it was boring. Copying something out in neat handwriting.

Detention for behaviour was done on a rota so you could still give detention if you had a meeting or an appointment.

Detention for not doing homework the teacher told the student when their detention was, and the teacher would collect the student.

They also had a 'Do now', something on the board that the student had to do straight away and should take 10 mins, you had the option of 'Quiet reading' - all students had to have a reading book, one of their own or from the library.

It gave a nice peaceful start to lessons.

School is a great way for kids to learn that they can't 100% control their environment and other people, only their own responses.

Yeah, he’s already learned that he has to put up with the kid sitting next to him calling him 'a sp*z' and 'a freak' and trying to stab his hand with a pen, because telling a teacher would mean the lesson stopping yet again, when they’ve already had to stop and remove the kid who was standing on their desk and twerking.

For what it’s worth, I agree that the school environment really doesn’t work for a significant minority of children, but teachers are not the root of the problem and parents should be uniting with them to fight the real enemy (years of chronic underfunding - especially in alternative provision - and stupid, narrow, arbitrary “targets”).

Teaching kids about sex.
Not teaching kids about sex.

Striking?

I don't like this thread. How many teachers are parents? How many parents are teachers. If you are a ....... in one category it's likely you are one in the other too...🤐

My son has a mental health issue, and the GP put in a CAMHS referral for us. When they eventually phoned they told me my first port of call should be his school. I'm afraid I haven't yet contacted school about it, partly because it seems to be improving on its own, but mainly because it isn't a problem which affects him much at school or is caused by school. I hate to add to school's workload with an issue like this, but CAMHS are telling me that is the route to get help? Seems bizarre!

Lol at Tory bot. No. I’m a mumsnet person. I vote for women in elections. That’s my party.

To call something disordered is to call it abnormal. The whole system was built on stigma and to label continues that stigma. No labels are needed as in fact most are just made up. All are just a normal reaction to trauma.

What about anxiety associated with asd @WeeWillyWinkie9?
No trauma event experienced by child, but they experience huge anxiety on a daily basis.
What do you call that?

I am a parent. I think the children, who fared the best during the pandemic had parents, who were not too fazed by the pandemic and were free to talk and able to help out with work if necessary. This was also important for teens and to still be connected to their parents on an emotional level, rather than just their friends.

I also think that schools had a part to play in this. Some secondary schools offered regular live lessons, others offered few to none. Some schools offered lots of mental health support, checking in with the students, some little to none.

My dd’s school was in the latter category for both. Dd was given vast amounts of work, far more than had she been at school and far more than all the other surrounding schools. Fine for dd, she accomplished it all, right down to her PE lessons. Very difficult for some of her friends, who were turned off learning.

The school has a big problem with feral kids, exacerbated by the pandemic. Dd was yr7 first lockdown and her year had already been identified as a particularly difficult year. Lockdown imo from an educational and developmental perspective was especially hard on yr7 because there is a big jump between years 6 and 7. Instead of the school guiding the students through, they were at the age of being expected to get on with it, with many, who basically couldn’t.

As for little princes and princesses, I agree with you there on an anecdotal level. Two girls from dd’s former primary, who are now out of mainstream education fit this category. I only knew one of them very well. She had a lot of mental health issues already as she was dd’s best friend. She pushed a lot of boundaries, dd said she was stealing (at 11) and not treating dd particularly well. Her online behaviour was worrying at times but I couldn’t go to her mum for she systematically made things worse and helped to make her dd a bullying target.

Another one to add from today (yes! Strike day!):

Parent realised at 8.30 last night that EHIC card application hadn't been fully processed and decided to tell me this morning.

We leave for a week long trip abroad v early tomorrow morning.

Then when I said that no valid confirmed EHIC could mean no trip for DC, I received a barrage of abusive emails throughout the day blaming ME for not having personally renewed HER DC's EHIC card.

Then after urgent consultation with SLT, insurance co etc (on strike day etc) which took most of the afternoon, it was agreed she could come, absolutely not a word of thanks or apology or anything like that at all.

Not in my eyes, a kid in my class is struggling. Does she need a diagnosis? Does she buggery, she needs understanding and support which we can easily give without any diagnosis. A diagnosis does the opposite in some instances and prevents help being given. I have seen that first hand last year....a child who will likely kill herself before she is 16 because her diagnosis means she will not get help now as everything is attributed to that.

I read a lot thank you and much wider than JT maybe you should too, some of us don't agree with all that she says and are able to say that because of our reading but also back it up with experience too.

I don't call it anything. I see a child struggling and I don't need to give it a label to help. I just help. Really bloody simple.

fairypeasant
I'm not stigmatising as I don't see any issue with kids who struggle, I just help them as we all should. We shouldn't flap around for ages for a diagnosis before we do anything. Help them without a diagnosis. It is pretty simple. No stigma needed. You are the one doing that.

And let me guess, @WeeWillyWinkie9 , you also "don't see race"? I've met people like you.🙄Not very bright.

I don't see race? What did you assume about my race when you said that?

So basically without a diagnosis you would just let a kid struggle and do nothing. Just ignore the kid because you can't possibly help without a diagnosis? Give over.

You're purposefully redirecting from having to justify your garbage about mental illness not being real, it's all "just" trauma.

I rang a parent to tell them their 8 year old was in my office, at 4:30pm, after coming back on site and shouting obscenities through a window.
She tolls me, “yes, he has a disgusting mouth. He calls me a fucking slag all the time.’

Jesus where is this 😳😳

No not at all you have just realised your mistake in trying to patronise me about race thinking I was white. It is all down to trauma.

Agree with this. Might be someone trying to get material for a news article too

It may be easier to list what we’re not blamed for!

@WeeWillyWinkie9 You know nothing about mental illness, and keep your religious, non-scientific, belief that "all mental illness is down to trauma" away from children, please. Because that is simply untrue.

But you are giving a diagnosis/label?
You're on here saying all anxiety is a reaction to trauma.
You're wrong about that.

I agree with you fairypeasant. For reasons that we don't yet fully understand, today's young people are experiencing high levels of mental distress. Please listen to children and be kind - that's to parents and teachers.

This sadly is a daily reality for many children and teachers.