Let’s do a new “things parents have blamed teachers for “

[Theos]

I’ll start. ALL MENTAL HEALTH. Our fault.
all lost items - our fault.

@fairypeasant my accent didn't affect phonics in the slightest. Seriously, it barely exists! It wasn't strong to start with, and I moved to the south east, aged 21. So 45 years later it's really not a feature. Even my short a isn't as short as it used to be. You'd know didn't grow up here, but that's all. (And of course I'm going by what others say, not my own perception of it!)

This parent was a little 'unusual' though.

PawsOnTheBeach
In teaching they use a trauma informed approach where labels are not needed as to label is to stigmatise and label it as abnormal. It also serves as to work in the deficit so disables the child by saying there is something wrong with them instead of saying their reaction is normal which it is. Mental health is a normal reaction to trauma. That is not ignorance but informed.

I wouldn't want to throw it back to the goos old days because that is, as a PP said, child abuse.

We definitely need more robust punishment in schools though. I work in a secondary school and recently one student, unprovoked, punched another student in the face. He caused enough damage that in the adult world he could be convicted for GBH. He got a two day suspension from the school. How on earth are we meant manage behaviour in school when they can near enough get away with murder and we can't do fuck all about it?

Eh?

Is it stigmatising to call a broken leg ‘a broken leg’? Or cancer ‘cancer’? Why is it stigmatising to name a mental health condition?

Although sometime individual teachers can make it worse. Particularly the ones who decide there is nothing wrong with a child and they're just naughty when they are not qualified to determine that a child does not have anxiety/asd/adhd/depression etc

I bet the kids could sniff out which jumpers belonged to who though, couldn’t they? Childish super power!

We definitely need more robust punishment in schools though. I work in a secondary school and recently one student, unprovoked, punched another student in the face. He caused enough damage that in the adult world he could be convicted for GBH. He got a two day suspension from the school. How on earth are we meant manage behaviour in school when they can near enough get away with murder and we can't do fuck all about it?

This would be for the police to deal with 'properly' at secondary age, not school.

He didn’t react quickly enough to my DDs nut allergy. Thought she was faking.
Panicked when her lips started to swell, and sent her across the whole school to the nurse - with another 10 year old accompanying her.
Wouldnt let her take her anti-histamine in the classroom
Fortunately DD had the sense to take anti histamine once she was out in the corridor.

Happened about 10 years ago.

When we complained he accidentally emailed me instead of his Headteacher saying I was an anxious mum who made DD’s nut allergy worse.

Shes been in anaphylaxis a few times now.

The man was an idiot.

Most other teachers have been good. We have 4 children. I know teachers have a tough job.

Some do. Most do not.

Some people get mental illness after trauma (not all mental illness is caused by trauma). Some people get broken bones after trauma. As PP, saying someone has anxiety disorder is no more stigmatising than saying they have a broken leg. By refusing to name the illness, that's stigmatising. Jessica Taylor isn't the expert on mental illness she thinks she is. I would do some other reading.

lol.

The thing that ‘disabled’ my child were teachers ignoring my child’s issues. And some acting like absolute cunts to her. Once she was diagnosed with anxiety many teachers were helpful and caring. And then when she was diagnosed with ASD, things really improved. In practice things are a bit different. She was different anyway, the diagnosis meant she had access to help. Most parents I’ve met agree.

was

For not letting their 6ft year 11 son punch me in the face. Apparently it was my fault he tried to (I'd told him off for mucking around) and they were going to report me to the local paper for it 🙄

For letting the ASD student in the class work with their one to one, apparently that was unfair on the other teenagers.

For not letting the parent bitch at me about what a failure their daughter was compared to her twin, turns out parents don't like it when you stand up for their kids and support them.

And many many more.

(Disclaimer I am no longer in teaching after a decade of loving the job I just couldn't anymore)

And I have a child who just wants to learn too, but couldn't sit still or shut up if his life depended on it.

School is a great way for kids to learn that they can't 100% control their environment and other people, only their own responses.

Alternatively:
Teachers have no responsibility for those for whom they are in locum parentis ever.

Isn't this supposed to be a partnership ensuring as many children as possible grow up to be responsible adults.

I appreciate there are some poor parents who put all the blame on teachers (too lax or too severe). There are also teachers who don't want to take any responsibility for what goes on when they are in charge, who don't challenge bullying for example.

Any parent or teacher who 'blames' the other is not great in my opinion.

I understand teachers can be frustrated when they are blamed - not very professional though is it, to blame all parents when it is clearly a minority.

If you believe all parents are remiss in their parenting then I suggest you are very definitely in the wrong job and should leave as soon as you can (cos I guess you went into it for the pension and the holidays - hard to see anything else)

To call something disordered is to call it abnormal. The whole system was built on stigma and to label continues that stigma. No labels are needed as in fact most are just made up. All are just a normal reaction to trauma.

I completely agree that we pathologise in order to get help which shouldn't happen. When a deer runs from a fox we don't say it has anxiety disorder we just say it is a normal reaction to something that scared them. I don't agree with pathologising mental health just treating individuals as we would do animals in distress and care for the kids who show they are struggling in a trauma informed way. No label needed to continue the stigma. Just reacting to their needs at that time if they show distress.

Don't worry @fairypeasant the vast majority of teachers are aware and try as hard as we can to support students with anxiety (it is hard if the trigger is something that is going to happen - like exams).
And some of us even have clinical anxiety ourselves.

Not providing their child with a left handed pencil.

@WeeWillyWinkie9 - but my anxiety disorder prevents me from doing normal things for no good reason. I am a chronic over thinker/what ifer with terrible social anxiety and anxiety around driving. I was too anxious about my medication for anxiety making me drowsy to take my anxiety medication. That IS a disordered response.
Labels can be a very useful short-hand. The real problem comes in their misuse and attitudes towards them.
One of the things that used to make me feel worse is that I had 'No reason' to feel bad and others had it worse. Trauma informed doesn't mean that everything relates to trauma.

My daughter was assaulted with a chair by another pupil who has ASD. The condition and similar associated conditions in a minority of cases seem to be used as shield to protect pupil offenders. I have full sympathy for suffered of disabilities but how do you protect your child when neurodiversity is somehow used as motivation for classroom violence? I pity teachers as I wonder how many times they may be more reluctant to impose disciplinary measures when they face accusations of not fully understanding diagnosed and undiagnosed neurological conditions. Teachers are not medics and certainly should have support in imposing classroom discipline.

Labels are the stigma and to continue to use them means to continue to stigmatise. The whole system is built on stigma and this is the reason the stigma continues by calling people abnormal. There is no need for them or at least there shouldn't be but sadly people can't leave the pathology behind.

Your reaction is normal as is all mental health responses. Trauma informed does what it says on the tin. It is about trauma responses being normal not abnormal.

GrammarTeacher
And I don't think you have a disordered response. It is normal to be fearful of something that could have an impact on you.

Extra points if the child brings in a packed lunch.

'Forcing' a dyslexic student to read.

I'd actually said to the student to try to read the hand out while I did something, set up the projector / log on something like that.

She spent 30 mins arguing that it would take her 30 mins to read it.

I'm dyslexic myself, all my handouts are written in the 'lexia' font, I carry covered overlays with me, I change the background colour of my PowerPoints to the colour identified as best for the student.

I will happily email the handout ahead of time so the student can print it or use software to have it read to them.

Apparently I should have stopped teaching to read the handout to her.

@WeeWillyWinkie9 - I haven't experienced a trauma. Seriously, there isn't the consensus on this you think there is.
Trauma informed does not mean assuming everything is done to trauma. Because it isn't. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's biochemical, sometimes it's a little bit of both.
My label isn't a problem. My label (in general) doesn't minimise my situation. Some people's responses do.
It's thinking like this that led to me walking out of some training on deliberate self harm over a decade ago. According to that 'expert' it was always a sign of abuse. Nope. Not true.