Let’s do a new “things parents have blamed teachers for “

[Theos]

I’ll start. ALL MENTAL HEALTH. Our fault.
all lost items - our fault.

Love it “why do you do your job if you moan “. Forgot that no one’s allowed to be frustrated. Silly me

Yes

This thread is grim. I’m a primary teacher (p7, Scotland).

I bloody love my job. Having solid relationships with parents is just part of teaching in 2023. I spend all day with their most treasured possessions, and we’re all just trying to do our best to give these kids what they need. Occasionally there are some challenges, but I try and put myself in their position (are they worried about their child, are they worried about the cost of replacing something?).

Sometimes people can seem unreasonable or unnecessarily aggravated, but that’s been the same in every job I’ve had working with the general public.

Or have had our own kids with anxiety. Medically diagnosed. And know the difference with that and worry.

Giving their child an inherited condition.

I was blamedl when their child refused to do German homework because "we won the war so we should be making them learn English".

This complaint went all the way to the Head and Governors.

And you wonder why teachers have had enough, striking and leaving the profession in droves.

Oh I heard the best one yesterday: "schools should be teaching car maintenance." Errr why?

But without diagnosis there is little understanding and little help. With a diagnosis, you get understanding and help. My child doesn’t feel stigmatised, she feels a lot better for knowing she has autism. If others want to stigmatise her, that’s their issue.

So until your ideal world happens where teachers all care and have time to give that care, we’ll have to keep diagnosing kids so they get help, understanding and adjustments that means they can cope with school.

And I won’t hold my breath for your ideal world, schools are on their knees if you haven’t noticed. And even before things were this bad, there wasn’t time for what you’re talking about. It’ll never happen. You just sound naive to how things actually are.

That his school jumper, absolutely identical to every other school jumper in our three form entry reception stage, that wasn’t labelled, was lost. Someone else stole it. And it’s my fault for not keeping track of jumpers all day because ‘what else are you doing with them, it’s just playing with kids really innit?’

I'm really naive am I to not know about schools. So why am I sitting here in class having already been in school and hour working. Stop patronising when you think someone isn't a teacher. Your attitude towards those who aren't is on show.

Not me but a family member when they finally realised into year 3 that there child was behind academically that it's the teachers fault because they didnt give them home work. I backed the teachers as I know the school does give it because my kids go there and it's expected. The school is a fabulous school and the teachers to above and beyond to help the kids. The lifestyle choices of the parents are the reason the child is struggling as they suit childless couples.

@WeeWillyWinkie9 You've signed up to some anti-psychiatry religion. But take it away from my kid.

I've not sorry I've just seen how mental health is built on stigma and refuse to do that. Why is that wrong to not want to carry in stigmatising those who are responding normally to something something has an impact on them? If you want to carry on stigmatising then feel free. I dont.

Not all mental illness is caused by trauma. You're the one stigmatising mental illness.

Read something other than Jessica Taylor.

Loving this.

Not being able to “control” their children. This was 10 years ago pre-kids in a secondary school and one of the reasons I will never teach secondary again!

But this trousers showing it's the parents who are the problem, not the schools themselves.

I mean if teachers are expected to teach children how to do everything. Pay taxes, open a bank account, change a tyre, their diet etc etc.

Then what point is there in even having parents? Might as well give your kids to the government.

(FYI I was taught barely any life skills by my parents, no idea why!!!)

I work in a secondary school office. Complaints in the last ten days have been -

Little flo left her PE kit on the bus on the way he after going to a friend's house after school, the office staff need to ring round the bis companies, track it down and return it to little flo i. time for PE which is in an hour. Dad couldn't possibly do this as he works you know. (I genuinely wish i was joking, i took this call).

I am a thief because their child was texting in lesson and had their phone confiscated (as per the behavior policy) and i better personally go apologize to their child and give them back their mobile or he'd be down to 'sort me out'

I shouldn't send home their vomiting child (3 sick bowls full in 20 minutes) because they have a hair appointment.

A formal complaint to the governors because a staff member didn't return a call the same day despite explaining she was dealing with a serious safeguarding incident and was off site and we could get a different staff member to call back. It was about a lost planner so not exactly urgent.

My personal favorite - I called their child sweetie instead of their name when I'd never met their child before and actually no I don't memorize the names of 1700 kids.

On the anxiety thing, there is a massive mental health issue in kids. They've had a massively traumatic time in the last couple pf years on top of the "normal" things we would find. However, of I listened to our year 9 cohort then all 318 of them have anxiety when actually it is used as a get out of jail free card and means that it is more difficult for our kids with genuine issues. I regularly support our kids with mental health issues, as far as I am concerned (and my colleagues) it's no different to needing a plaster so no stigma but there are some who play on it and push their luck.

Oh and yes, I'm going to give a red mark to your kid who called me a Fucking fat cunt because I asked them to wait because i am dealing with a child who's knee has dislocated.

At the end of a very long post I would like to mention the lovely family who sent chocolates as a thank you for the support i gave their child with her health anxieties, the wonderful grandparents who took the time to write a thank you note for looking after their grandchild when they were ill and the approximately 3200 parents out of 3500 who actively support and work with school!

Parents are a big part of the problem too many are totally in denial about there little "prince or princess" behaviour

I have no idea whether you’re a teacher or not. And I don’t care.The fact is your ideals and reality are a different thing.

As I said previously, we’ve encountered a few members of staff who are horrible about anxiety and autism, but on the whole, most teachers are really helpful and supportive, especially when there’s a diagnosis.

And I feel dreadfully sorry for teachers being blamed for most of the stuff on this thread. I’ve heard some very unreasonable parents making requests/demands/threats over the years and I don’t know how the teachers/staff deal with them.

That was in response to @WeeWillyWinkie9

A lot of British parents do seem to expect the school to do everything for them. The UK system leans towards the infantilizing - few textbooks (and almost none that get sent home), and many parents rarely see the insides of kids' exercise books either; any kind of absence is penalized because of an assumption that parents cannot possibly be expected to keep their kids up or make up for lost teaching at home.

Very different to many other countries, where textbooks and workbooks are set for every subject and go home every day, and parents are expected to mark a lot of the kids' work (the flip side is, if you want to take your kid out of school, nobody bothers you.... but it's assumed automatically that you are going to catch them up with anything they have missed).

I am really wondering about the timing of this thread. Parents bashing teachers and teachers bashing parents is a perpetual theme on here - why would anyone think it would be helpful to start the ball rolling again?

Theos has either name changed or joined to start this thread the day before teachers go on strike. They haven't actually said they are a teacher, they've just lobbed a few inflammatory comments in, lit the touchpaper and sat back and watched while teachers and parents rip into each other.

Theos is either a Tory bot trying to whip up anti-teacher feeling, or an idiot who is playing into their hands.

Teachers - don't engage with this. You are better than this.
Parents - please don't think this reflects the views of all teachers.

Let's be clear that the real enemy is a government which has starved schools of resources, consistently prioritised the needs of the wealthy over those of ordinary people, and managed to destroy public confidence in our education and health services.

"You've given my child the wrong colour bubbles!"

The bubbles that were an end of year present for my pupils. That I bought myself. Without a word of thanks for teaching them all year or even an enjoy your summer. Yeah, ok!