The midwife who by her inaction killed my child has stood for election as parent governor at our school.

[Bubble99]

In February 2005 one of my full term and healthy twin sons was stillborn during an emergency cs. We had been admitted to a ward during the evening for induction of labour. Routine monitoring quickly showed that the twins were becoming distressed and (after the event) we were told that a consultant should have been called and a transfer to the labour ward arranged immediately. The MW responsible for our 'care' did none of these things, did not contact any doctors ( let alone a consultant) for two hours and was later proved to be negligent.

After the death of my son Mr Bubble had to carry on as normal. DT1/DS4 and I were in hospital for a week and Mr Bubble came to see us after he had dropped the older Bubble boys at school each morning. A couple of days after Bo (DT2) died, Mr Bubble said that he had seen the midwife at school and that he had wanted to scream and shout at her. I could not believe that this was possible and we both agreed that it must be someone who looked like her. He has continued to see 'her' for the last nearly three years but I haven't.

We now have vacancies for parent governors ( I am also a parent governor) and on the nomination forms sent home from school are the statements made by each prospective governor.

I recognised the name of one of them who says she is a 'healthcare professional' and it is the same name... I have just phoned our chair of governors and he has said that she "used to be a midwife."

I know that I will not be able to cope with sitting opposite this woman during meetings if she is elected and it will affect any of my dealings with her on governor business.

What should I do? I was re elected last year and really enjoy the role.

I'm sure I should be able to forgive and move on but it is still so raw and I don't know if I can work with someone who has had such a profound and awful influence on my life.

Oh bubble

I agree with what Carmenere and others have said. You need to speak up and make it clear that you cannot work alongside this woman but would be more than happy to fully support all other applicants.

Yes. There are five canditates for three vacancies so there is a chance that she may not be elected anyway.

Our name is very distinctive so I am surprised that she hasn't recognised it from the current school governors list.

I cannot envisage holding a civil conversation with this person. I'll talk to the head tomorrow and ask her to let her know who I am. I hope she will consider not standing but obv she may go ahead anyway.

I know wordsmith. I can see what you're saying but just wondering whether these are the right circs. Does everyone need to know? Would it be good for the Bubble family? And might it not totally destroy the ex M/W?

I'm so sorry to hear this, Bubble, and fully understand why you can't be in meetings with her.

It was agreed in the inquiry, was it not, that her actions were culpable?

I think I would be quite formal about this - send a letter to the Chair, with a copy of the report from the hospital, saying that she is the MW concerned, and you believe her election would present you with a serious conflict of interest, and is there any way that her nomination can be withdrawn or challeneged?

Is she a parent at the school, or is she standing as a 'community governor'?

B99

My darling girl, it is never ending, or so it appears....

Make yourself known to her, if she has an ounce of human decency she will retire. You were tooooo nice, at the time and if you had sued her ass into the ground she would not be around/cocky enough to do this. Instead you went for the what went wrong, who needs training route.

And this is the payback ??

All my love to footle.

SueW - I'm not sure those are (mostly) questions for bubble to ask/answer but for the chair. The reality is that bubble cannpt contemplate sitting opposite her in meeting (who could?). So one of them cannot be a governor.

At the very least making sure that this woman knows who bubble is and that she is on the board of governors give her the opportunity to do the decent thing (ir what most of us would do) and withdraw.

i stood for governor, we weren't told who else was standing or who held the position already, i would hope she also does not know you are on the board bubble so agree about asking chair/someone to explain to her so she can withdraw if she has any decency at all.
so for you about this stress

I am the SEN governor and for the last three years have been doing termly governor visits to see children with statements and their LSAs in the classrooms. There have never been any issues beyond what the SENCO can deal with and so I have never needed to meet with any of the parents. One of these children has needed a lot of support from the school, which he has received, and the mother has been keen to continue his inclusion in mainstream education. I have written very postive reports of my observations of him which have helped.

I now realise (have been told by the chair) that this child is the MW's son, I have never associated his surname with hers.

So. She will doubtless be interested in SEN and I am SEN governor. I will not be able to avoid her.

Ironic, isn't it? I have got to know her child so well without ever meeting her

I am not unkind, and now knowing that she has a child with profound special needs, my human side wonders if on the night she fatally let my son down she had had the day from hell with hers..

Yes, Blu.

She also apparently stopped working as a MW two years ago which would fit with the conclusion of the enquiry. She may well have mixed feelings about me if my case ended her career.

Would she not have seen your name on her son's documetation? I am a bit baffled how she could be completely unaware of the fact that you have had contact with her son.

Surely she cannot know that you are a governer though, noone could be so insensitive, I hope.

Oh bloody hell, Bubble.

If she were to be elected, would you resign?It may be you can't stop her standing and you can't stop people voting for her but you can know your own mind and let the head/chair of governors know it too. I'm sorry I don't know the politics of school committees so I don't know how it's likey to pan out or who has the influence. It sounds absolutely painful and I do hope you get the outcome you want.

Oh my goodness - that you have been supporting her child!

This is complicated.

Once she knows that you are the SEN governor, she may have (theoretical) grounds for believing that you cannot uphold your governor role without conflict of interest to her son, because of bad memories of her.

This is complicated.

Have you actually told the Chair what your link to this woman is?

Someone neds to talk to her and tactfully tell her to woithdraw her nomination, BUT I do feel she should be assured of complete confidentiality.

Oh bugger bubble.

This must be a real blow for you. I have no practical advice at all - I'm not at that point in parenting just yet to be able to suggest anything.

DrSpeck. Our surname is unusual so yes, I would be surprised if she hadn't put two and two together but she may not have seen the reports. They are circulated to all governors and are, AFAIK, on record for any interested parties to look at - but they are not given to parents of children with SEN as a matter of course.

I can't imagine that anyone would have the power or right to dissuade her from standing if she is determined to. And rightly, I suppose. Because although it seems obvious in this case that we could not work together it would then set a precedent and any number of lesser issues could be used in the future to try to stop people from becoming governors.

I can't imagine that the Governor Support office at the LEA has ever had to deal with anything like this before.

I think you're right Bubble99. It's a horrible situation for you. I think I'd have a word with whoever is likely to talk to her about the application (if that makes sense) and thensee what she does. I'd be reluctant to use the mums network, It makes me feel uncomfortable somehow. Can't you tell whoever it is that you want to be governor but you won't be able to work with her.

Oh, lovely Bubble

I understand you can't work alongside her. I would hope that a word to the Chair - who presumably is aware of your history? - would mean that this woman is asked to consider her application - and if she's got any sort of remorse for her inaction, she'll realise that it's impossible for her to stand.

However, be aware that she might be in full possession of the scenario that awaits her, and ready for a fight. I hope to goodness this isn't the case, but surely she'll have seen Mr Bubble as well, seen your name on the list of governors - and, really, with the contact you've had and the impact on her life from the last time your paths crossed, I do find it hard to believe she wouldn't know who you were.

I truly hope this isn't the case and that she backs down pronto.

See you soon, I hope, lovely Bubble xx

NKF. I'll talk to the chair again tomorrow and ask him to let her know the situation. If she decides to stand anyway, as is her right, and is voted in - I will have to resign.

Thanks for listening, everyone. I'm off to feed DS 4 (5 ) now.

Night all.

x

I hope it goes how you want. Take care.

Night, sweet. Cuddles to the DSs from me - think of you all often, you know. Please come and see the drive soon

Oh, Bubble! What a string of horrible coincidences!, Best of luck for tomorrow.