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Original poster

Why is it considered okay to go in for private-school-bashing?

236 replies

nellyraggbagg · 12/11/2007 18:24

I met a friend today, who launched into a full-scale rant against 'shiny private school children'. As my DS is one of these 'shiny private school children', I thought it rather offensive. We are not fabulously wealthy; we don't have a 4WD or designer clothes; we can't afford to go on holiday anywhere, never mind abroad; we have shelved all plans to move house so that we can afford school fees. Why, oh why do people think it's acceptable to be rude to someone because of their school choice? I'd never dream of talking about her 'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children'!!

OP posts:
EmsMum · 14/11/2007 16:18

Possibly a shiny child is one with a blazer. Which sometimes are a bit shiny thanks to being thrown in the wash every week for 4 years. (much more practical and long lasting than acrylic cardies btw. esp if bought second hand from PTA shop).

Lasvegas · 14/11/2007 16:28

My DD is at private school and about a third of the kids in her class of 20, are non white. The local state reception is made up of all white kids bar one. The reason being private school has no post code access boundaries. I prefer my child to mix with a cross section of society thus one reason I pay for education.

smartiejake · 14/11/2007 16:48

MumsMan- huge round of applause- exactly the reason why we chose a private school for dd1 from year 7. Some of her friends who went to the local "good ofsted" school have complained about disruptive kids spoiling the lessons and bullying that is not dealt with.

spokette · 14/11/2007 17:16

MumsMan and Smartiejake, bullying and disruptive children happens in the private sector too, not just the state sector. The main difference between the two sectors is that the state is obliged to provide an education for these children whereas the private just kicks them out, usually to the state system. Hardly an altruistic, benevolent environment methinks.

With regard to OP,a comment like "shiny private school children is not as offensive as "'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children". That latter comment says far more about you than you think.

As far as I am concern, there are poor schools and bad schools in each sector and it is up to parents as to where they send their off-spring.

pagwatch · 14/11/2007 17:18

spokette
i think in fairness to the op her comments have been misread as i think she was tring to illustrate a completely unacceptable description of a state school child - wasn't she?

spokette · 14/11/2007 17:27

Maybe but why be so derogative? Why not just say something like dull, unpolished state schoolchildren in response to shiny private schoolchildren?

pagwatch · 14/11/2007 17:29

no idea - not my op and i wouldn't say any of them .
just i think a few people thought she was saying those things rather than using somewhat nuclear examples.

inthegutter · 14/11/2007 18:43

Lasvegas - lol at the idea that having a large proportion of non-white kids in your dd's class is a sign of a good cross section of society. Our local private school has a large proportion of chinese and malaysian students. I think you'll find they're there because their parents have lots of dosh, not because the school is keen to represent all aspects of society!!
And having had some experience of teaching in a private school myself, I'd certainly echo what spokette says. Of course bullying goes on in private schools - and in fact where I taught there was far more acceptance of low level unkindness/sidelining fellow students etc than in the state school i teach in.

harpsichordsahoy · 14/11/2007 18:52

yes I agree with spokette
to think that "shiny" is equivalent to saying 'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children' says a great deal about the someone's prejudices and snobbery tbh.

pagwatch · 14/11/2007 18:56

hmm - yes I see what you mean
perhaps 'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children' is closer to "arrogant little public school wanker" .
Both deeply prejudiced and both say a great deal about the author

Original poster
nellyraggbagg · 14/11/2007 19:11

Sorry? 'Both' are deeply prejudiced and say something about me? I made only one comment, with very heavy irony. The 'shiny' comment was accompanied by such vitriol and venom that 'arrogant little public school wanker' would have seemed restrained by comparison. The very fact that anyone could possibly think my 'chav etcetera' remark was serious just highlights precisely the problem that I was bothered about in the first place!
So far as my own prejudices are concerned, I am not anti-rich-4-wd-people. I merely made that remark because I know that so many people do dislike such people, and thought it would save them the bother of posting on MN to say that I'm a rich, privileged Private School Mummy who gets what she deserves!!
And bullying: I was severely bullied during my one year in a state school (aged five) - and severely bullied in the last year of my private junior school. My children's school may be a SATS-free zone, but I very much doubt it will be a bully-free zone! (More's the pity...)

OP posts:
Original poster
nellyraggbagg · 14/11/2007 19:13

PS I like emmaagain's analysis of the problem, by the way. I'm sure there's a lot of truth in that.

OP posts:
mummyloveslucy · 14/11/2007 19:58

My DD goes to a private school for many reasons, mainly the small class sizes, enthasis on good manners and concideration of others, moral standards and no bullying. Anyway, I have nothing against state schools but a lot of people seem to be against private schools and don't mind telling you either. I bet if they had the money they would send their children private. (who would'nt?)

harpsichordsahoy · 14/11/2007 20:00

pagwatch,
I am sorry, I don't really think this is the place to go over again why you think you need to have such a personal go at me.
I was using an example, with pretty heavy and obvious irony. I was trying to point out that "shiny" wasn't offensive in any objective sense.
can I suggest if you have something personal to say about me that you take it offline.
please feel free to CAT me and hopefully we can clear it up.
thanks
harpsichordcarrier

inthegutter · 14/11/2007 20:10

mummyloveslucy - a lot of people wouldn't choose private just because they have the money.That's the whole point. We don't all necessarily believe private is better. I'm a teacher with experience of both sectors. There are some excellent schools in both sectors, some middling, some poor. But I have yet to come across a private school that is worth the tens of thousands of pounds per year which they cost. Some of the teaching in private schools is quite mediocre and complacent; even dull. Bullying goes on in any school - you're deluding yourself if you think it doesnt. The reason people become polarised about this issue is that if people are spending wads of money on something, they have to convince themselves they are getting a better deal. No way are they going to back down and admit that maybe the alternative is fine.

pagwatch · 14/11/2007 20:15

don't have as personal issue !
Have we 'crossed swords' before or something? Sorry - memory isn't great should i remeber you?
I just don't like kids being stereotyped as they have no control over the decisions of their parents.
I personally missed the irony of the wanker comment but perfectly happy to accept that maybe thats just me ...(but would struggle to find wanker fnny in most contexts when used re a kid). And din't agree with the stereotyping of state school kids either.
Find the subject interesting but don't like the kids themselves being brought in. It is about the parents choices

Rhubarb · 14/11/2007 20:24

BURN THEM ALL!

Said in a completely unbiased way of course.

Original poster
nellyraggbagg · 14/11/2007 21:59

Umm... I'm failing to follow the discussion between pagwatch and harpsichordsahoy. 13 years of private education, and I can't even work out who's cross about what, or why...

OP posts:
emmaagain · 14/11/2007 22:10

"PS I like emmaagain's analysis of the problem, by the way. I'm sure there's a lot of truth in that. "

curtseys to nelly

MorocconOil · 14/11/2007 22:21

mummyloveslucy, I just love your confidence about no bullying in private schools

Dinosaur · 14/11/2007 22:24

I am not going to read the whole thread, but in a nutshell, the reason why is that because most arguments on mumsnet rather fail to take into account that in order to go private, you have to have a spare £12,000 or so lyiing around and that's just for one child. Therefore it is inherently divisive.

frogs · 14/11/2007 22:25

hey, that was my line!

Dinosaur · 14/11/2007 22:26

Hey, it was a combo! You came up with the figure, I said it was the elephant in the room!

(and how are you btw, it was a jolly fine afternoon out on Saturday I thought!)

frogs · 14/11/2007 22:30

Jolly fine, I thought, too. The chocolate brownies were... filling. And ds will treat a chilli with due respect in future.

Dd2 however has taken umbrage at something your ds2 said to her, not sure what. I think he told her off for doing something she shouldn't have been, so I'll probably never find out.

Dinosaur · 14/11/2007 22:32

Ah. DS2 said to me that your DS's little sister was very good at breaking the rules. I said that you'd said much the same, although not in so many words.