Why is it considered okay to go in for private-school-bashing?

[nellyraggbagg]

I met a friend today, who launched into a full-scale rant against 'shiny private school children'. As my DS is one of these 'shiny private school children', I thought it rather offensive. We are not fabulously wealthy; we don't have a 4WD or designer clothes; we can't afford to go on holiday anywhere, never mind abroad; we have shelved all plans to move house so that we can afford school fees. Why, oh why do people think it's acceptable to be rude to someone because of their school choice? I'd never dream of talking about her 'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children'!!

am not jealous f the uniforms though - i mean What the holy mother of fuck ?

I know you said you didn't mean it. But I was just shocked at what you percieve as the stereotypical view of those who attend state schools.

I am proud that my children attend state school, certainly not jealous.

There's a couple of little lads opposite me that go in their blazers, and little caps every morning. I think they look really cute! (Sad muppet)

Parents are obviously proud of their children whatever school they attend. I just think if people do rant about private schools maybe its because they feel slightly inadequate financially because they can't give their kids the same advantages.

Sigh away SP and excuse me.

A simple oversight.

OK, to those who say a dislike of private education is "envy", I find that a rather large proportion of privately educated cildren are...

-arrogant
-ignorant of other social groups
-inclined to value the academic over other abilities

also if enough parents take their bright, well motivated children out of state schools in any one area, the state schools suffer for it (no, I wouldn't expect you to send little Tarquin somewhere where he might get stabbed, but most schools are in fact perfectly OK).

obviously some private school pupils (like me) are perfectly well balanced and OK, but then lots of state school pupils get all As don't they?

the private school is fair game imo. obviously private school children are not fair game, but nothing in the op suggests that any personal ranting took place.

it's not fucking envy.

arse, that should read "the private school system is fair game"

Dixichik, I think that some people 'rant' about private education because they may feel it is unfair and on principle disagree that you can buy 'better' education.

It is true that people feel they can have a go about private schools, good friend to us..."well your DS only does well because you pay for it " or even better "my DS reading level is better than yours - ha, more fool you for paying" (While I sit thinking, yes but...???) God forbid that I should say anything at all about her DS at state school!

also ime 95%+ of primary schools in the uk really are excellent. so yes, more fool you for paying if you don't have a particular reason to do so.

Dixichick - grow up! There's a lot more to education than looking cute in a blazer.
I was privately educated and wouldn't dream of subjecting my DC to such a narrow, blinkered view of society, that's not jealousy!

Nobody would want to send their little "Tarquin" or "Alfie" to a state school where they were likely to get stabbed. But if parents are fortunate enough to have the money aren't they going to send their kids to private school? I do think a lot of the ranting is about envy, what else is it about if not that?

The school I am talking about does not have any council houses in its catchment area. The only houses available to rent are extremely expensive to rent. People rent the houses for two years to get their kids into the school.

Maybe the school does have a few children on free school dinners, but the percentage is exceptionally low where as my son's school has an exceptionally high percentage.

I think you are completely and utterly kidding yourself if you seriously think that state schools have a socially mixed intake.

So what's immature about me thinking that a five year old in a blazer and cap is cute?? Unfitmother wind your neck in.

i have the money and i wouldnt dream of sending my kids to a private school

with the martyrdom of perfect parenthood with the - i never go on holiday and the intonation that somehow you are more deserving becuase of the fortunes that have come your way - and the "i can't move" well boo fucking hoo.

it is fair game

as is chavvy state education - if you feel got at - this would be becuase of your inadequacies - no one elses - so get over yourself and have a holiday

Message withdrawn

It seems the grass is always greener...

My DH was privately educated and doesn't see why DS shouldn't go to a state secondary when the time comes but actually he has no idea of what it is like. I, on the other hand, did go to a state secondary and I want better for my children.

Why shouldn't I chose how to spend my money? Surely the more children who are privately educated the more resources there are for children whose parents can't afford to buy their education?

If I have had more money I could buy a better house, car, holidays, clothes, healthcare why not better education. How is that hurting anybody else?

dixichick - you misunderstand me. I said I don't expect people to send their children to schools that are excessively violent. but thankfully there really aren't very many of those schools in the UK. Most people who send their kids to private school do so to avoid perfectly good schools, either because they are snobs or because they think getting ABB instead of BBC at A level is more important than having a reasonable understanding of society.

reallytired - all state schools are more mixed than private schools though. but like I say, I don't really have any sympathy for parents who move for the sake of the catchemnt area.

"people are never rude about moving to an expensive house to get their child into the best state schools"

Oh, I think they are! People are rude about everything on here!

I think a lot depends on what people's perceptions are of your reasons. It may well be a little irksome if they see it as "so the local state school isn't good enough", when they live round the corner from you and they will be sending their children there, and so they start to think "well, I don't have this 'choice', I can't afford St Nob's, my kids will be going to Bash Street, so she's actually saying it's my children she is paying to avoid."

I know it's more complex than that, but you can see how that goes through people's heads. If I'm honest, it would go through mine. We have a fine and decent, if not top-of-the-table comp in our area. I can't really understand why anyone wouldn't find it good enough. If they did tell me they were going private, I might start to have similar thoughts.

Dixichik, Can you not understand that some people actively choose to send their DC to state school? They maybe making a political decision as they feel it is unfair that some people can pay for education, whilst others can't. It maybe that they believe state education provides a better education for their DC.

snap, sobernow.

once, I mentioned biking on the estate where we lived. one boy said, without irony "you live on an estate? how common"

I send my children to a state school as a matter of conscience. I could educate them privately but choose not to.
All this "I think people rant against parents with children in private school because they are jealous" is just narrow-minded nonsense!

I don't think "shiny private school children" is very rude...? Or was the rest of what she was saying unacceptable...?

I would never send my DS to private school and people who criticise private schools are not necessarily jealous; they may be left-wing, or have had a bad experience of private schools, they may want their kids to mix with a richer variety of people, be better prepared for the real world, or just think private education's pretty pointless.

As an example, I went to the state school in a small town where there was one (very good) state school and one private school. The state school had excellent ofsteds, outstanding GCSE pass rates, and regularly sent 10-20 kids a year to Oxbridge. It also had a private chapel, a purpose-built debating theatre, and extensive grounds.

The private school had a raging drugs problem, very mediocre teaching, and not one person I knew who went there went on to get a degree. Some dropped out during A-levels, several went to uni but didn't complete the course. Yet half a dozen kids I was at primary school with were sent to the private school, often requiring great sacrifices from their parents. I just didn't get it then, and I don't get it now.

But [hypocritical emoticon] I would move to a better catchment area, however I criticise myself and others for this, and recognise it is basically immoral.