Why is it considered okay to go in for private-school-bashing?

[nellyraggbagg]

I met a friend today, who launched into a full-scale rant against 'shiny private school children'. As my DS is one of these 'shiny private school children', I thought it rather offensive. We are not fabulously wealthy; we don't have a 4WD or designer clothes; we can't afford to go on holiday anywhere, never mind abroad; we have shelved all plans to move house so that we can afford school fees. Why, oh why do people think it's acceptable to be rude to someone because of their school choice? I'd never dream of talking about her 'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children'!!

Are you new to MN?

It happens a fair bit on here, as well as in RL

ooh careful! I now thats not your opinion of state schools but people don't always read posts thoroughly! I see where you are coming from.

I guess it is considered OK as it is an inherently unfair system. I speak as a product of this system on education.
I'm sure it's not always meant personally.

I think a lot of it is jelousy. Prehaps your friends is not such a friend and has her own issues.

Its weird that people are never rude about moving to an expensive house to get their child into the best state schools, but they are rude about private schools.

Good luck to you and your family and I hope that your son enjoys his school.

Incidently my son goes to a state school because there are no suitable private schoools near by.

Because generally when you go private you are seen to be implying that the state schools available to you are not good enough for your child (yet 93% of the population make do with them).

People who have little knowledge of your child, the school you have chosen, your reasons for choosing it, and the realities of your local state option(s) will typicaly jump to the conclusion that you have opted for private education as some sort of mark of superiority or something.

Seems odd that she ranted directly at you though. Perhaps she didn't mean to offend you personally, just all the other private school parents?

Excuse me nelly but I hardly think shiny private school children is offensive. I do however find your comment about'illiterate, chavvy, hoody state children' disgraceful. I am relieved that my children will not be going to a private school where their classmates' parents may hold such ridiculous, uninformed views.

I see what you mean but really did you go private to avoid your ds mixing with ''illiterate, chavvy, hoody state school children'
If so, shame on you...

some private school children are shiny. perhaps your friend was referring to those rather than to all private school children.

But Reallytired, no, it's not usually jealousy, but rather indignation at the social segregation that private schools create. moving to a good school's catchment area is hardly the same.

mimizan perhaps if you read the OP properly...

nelly it weird isn't it that people get indignant that you have spent your hard earnrd cash on your children and their education, when you could waste it on a superb car say, or holiday and that would be fine.
I'd argue your priorities are right and others are just envious. Quick test question her..if she had the money would she be signed up to shiny schools quick as a flash?

Moving to a catchment area of an over subscribed school is social exclusion. A school that I used to work at previously had a catchment area where all the houses were worth a least half a million pounds.

The school was extremely popular and has very high SAT results. Although we live less than a mile from that school there would have been no chance of my son getting a place there.

On the poorer side of town my son's school has a high proportion of children on free school dinners. There are a disportionately high number of children with special needs and social problems compared to the other school.

The teaching at my son's school is excellent. But it would be nice to have the frills like french club, after school football, cookery, more interesting school outings which aren't essential but nice. Unfortunately the parents of the kids at my son's school do not have the money for extras.

mimizan and dooley1 ... you surely didn't think I meant it as you understood it??? Precisely my point is that nobody has the right to be rude about anyone else's choices, or their children. And it does only seem to work this way round: go private, and you're fair game.

Thank you to all the rest of you for the moral support!! I take particular heart from ReallyTired. What's funny is that Friend is married to someone whose monthly income is about the same as our annual income, but prefers to spend it on other things (like the entire contents of the Boden catalogue!!) It's also rather ironic that we can sort of scrape the fees together every term, but couldn't remotely afford to move to a different catchment area - the stamp duty alone is beyond us!!!

I think a lot of it is jealousy. We would really struggle to have our kids educated privately but are lucky enough to live in an area where the state schools are all really good so it has never been something we've even discussed.

mine are both at expensive prep schools, do wish that meant they were automatically shiny tho.

reallytired - it's still not the same: there will be some children at the "better" school who get free school dinners. remember not everyone owns the house they live in (plus I don't believe that all homes in the catchement area are worth 500k+ )

I don't have a lot of sympathy with parents who move for the catchment area as it goes, unless the school they are escaping from is truly awful. but that's beside the point - I'm just saying there are a lot of genuine reasons to be against private schools, and that putting it down to "jealousy" is rather patronising.

nellyraggbagg - you didn't respond to anyone who pointed out that the rant may not have been personal. and I know you were only using it as an example, but your chavvy etc comment is hardly in the same league as "shiny private schol children"

Envy - t'were ever thus.

Message withdrawn

I take it you didn't read my post before posting that, MrsGuy.

chavvy state school children are the reason i sent my children to study in afghanistan

Senora - no sorry must have corssed ours as took me so long to check I'd made no typos ...

I mean crossed yours - see what happens if I type in a hurry...

I don't think it's envy either. It's your reasons for sending your children that matter to your friend I would say.

"moving to a good school's catchment area is hardly the same."

Oh but it is SP! (and just as impossible for a lot of people)

I think people rant against parents with children in private school because they are jealous. Children in private school have a lot more opportunities to do well. Who wouldn't want the best education for their children?

mercy - I did qualify that in my subsequent post.