Looking for full boarding prep from Y3 recommendations

[LadyBugLovely]

Hi everyone,

First time boarding parent here. I’m looking for recommendations for full boarding preps (from age 7-13) for my DS and DD. Would prefer single sex schools for prep so would naturally need two different places... Is this going to cause me huge amounts of hassle?

Kids are bright. DS not super sporty, likes stem, tech building, individual pursuits in sport. DD more sporty and would like ponies at school, also v artsy.

I’m looking for:
Full boarding, pref 100% or a large amount of children doing full boarding.

Love international environments but don’t really want my kids to be the only ones not speaking mandarin or Russian etc. at the weekend.

Quite flexible with regards to area but would need to be ‘the south’. Quite close to Heathrow or Gatwick would be a bonus...

Schools would need to be within reasonable proximity to one another too I suspect to make this viable.

I’ve looked at Ludgrove but not sure if it is too much of a hot house and with competitive parents? I don’t drive a flash car etc. and don’t particularly entertain that type of pretension amongst parents and kids. Other options include Cothill and Horris Hill for DS. For DD I do quite like the look of Hanford but I’m not too sure if this is a bit too ‘informal’? These schools are nowhere close to each other either. I know it is much harder to find an all girls full boarding prep (and add in pony requirement to that) but would be grateful of ideas.

Are these ideas and criteria complete unrealistic?

@MinnieMous3

That was just for you

I’m leaving the thread now, thank you all so much for your suggestions of schools, some completely new to me. Plenty to sift through and plan. Both DC are very excited!

Could you pick a school that offers boarding and day places at least for your younger child. Then they can settle into the school and transition to boarding when you have to move overseas.

(Though tbh I’d take them with me)

Have you considered the south coast? Some excellent boarding preps here. Very good mix of academic, creative and sporty, plus extra bonus of beach schools and water sports. Mostly coed though. Good links to London and Gatwick.

Coed Dragon school as already mentioned.
Windlesham House is also very popular

Single sex Hanford definitely although location makes it harder especially to coordinate with another school for your DS.

Op gas your daughter been for a taster day at Hanford? If your seriously considering it that would be my first step. We moved both our kids from state to private in year 3 and they both very eloquent at that age at telling us what they did or did not like about the school and the teaching. If your daughter enjoys learning she will also know whether it has the right level of academic rigour for her. We've just moved our year 6 to another prep school for greater academic stretch.. as a parent u find it very difficult to 'see' this myself as all schools are adept at sales..

OP, if this is real (and I really hope it isn't) maybe your children really are better off boarding. I'm a psychologist and the way you deliberately avoid all genuine concerns people have put forward on this thread and the fact that you cheerfully admit you're going to be in the UK for the next three years but will still send them full boarding, dismissing any useful suggestions for live-in nannies etc...is pretty chilling...

For what it's worth, I would (obviously) never send my children boarding that young, but family members have, and the stories would make your hair (well most people's hair anyway) stand on end - not because of any outright abuse etc (like PPs say, most schools are pretty good with children and try their best to be kind) but in terms of the horrendous mental health outcomes - self harming, eating disorders, emotional breakdowns/shutdowns - it's not immediately obvious at all, can be triggered in your 30s when you have children of your own.

Ive just looked at the Hanford website. They seems to actively encourage the girls to pick on each other for their table manners. The girls with the worst table manners are referred to by the staff as Piglet or Cave lady and the best are called the Royal Guest. The teachers call out your position at every meal. What an ingenious way to give all the girls an eating disorder, nice and early! This is all advertised on their website. Can you imagine what goes on that isnt advertised??? Jesus!!

Wow you're right!!!! That's really bizarre.

Although I imagine they'll leave with impeccable manners ready for the society they'll move in. It's what the parents are paying for isn't it - the end product.

Or anorexia and other sundry mental health problems

That Hanford ranking manners thing is very weird-and in agree that it is uncomfortable. I have worked in many boarding schools and this is the first time I have seen something like that. It would put me off the school personally.

Having said that .... we send dc to local prep (has boarding facilities). DS is 9. He has grown up in boarding houses as DH has worked in them and we have been boarding parents. Some children are young - tend to be from non white british families, and in many cultures this is normal. The children tend to be happy, well adjusted and very loved by their parents. They are also taken of exceptionally well by boarding parents and the school in general. They are not abused, lonely, emotionally stunted. If a child showed that sort of distress, then not only would safeguarding be an issue and acted upon, but before that stage the school would have had a conversation with the parents and could well say that boarding is not working and the child would be better at home with parents. It does tend to be more rare for children under 10/11 to board, but it does happen and doesn't mean they are neglected, less loved etc. Hope you find what you want OP. Could flexi boarding be an option, so perhaps just one or two nights a week if it is needed?

@lockdownbreakdown

Ive just looked at the Hanford website. They seems to actively encourage the girls to pick on each other for their table manners. The girls with the worst table manners are referred to by the staff as Piglet or Cave lady and the best are called the Royal Guest. The teachers call out your position at every meal. What an ingenious way to give all the girls an eating disorder, nice and early! This is all advertised on their website. Can you imagine what goes on that isnt advertised??? Jesus!!

That website is bizarre. The manners part is particularly odd.

Going off to give my 8 year old a cuddle after reading this.

Windlesham House in Sussex is a really lovely school. Co-ed. Head changed recently though, so not sure whether it's the same as it was a few years ago.

@Mistressinthetulips

Going off to give my 8 year old a cuddle after reading this.

Same! Can't stop thinking about this thread, it's so disturbing.

I had one at Papplewick (now at Sherborne) and my DD is currently at Hanford. My deepest regret is that I didn’t move my daughter to Hanford sooner. She joined in y7 and has absolutely loved it: girls not cliquey and no self-determined and self-lacked ‘populates’ a la another prep school a few miles away. Such a great school and my daughter was able to get into St.Mary’s Calne after 2 descent terms’ teaching - not a chance had she remained at SPS!

Papplewick is from summer term y6 mandatory boarding as they view their responsibilities to truly prep the boys for their senior schools. Virtually no one at Pap goes to a Day school at 13yrs. Ergo, preparing them for a boarding environment Sunday evening returns (mandatory) until post matches Saturday, 4pm onwards typically, means almost all boys stay the weekend in y7 and y8. Happy to discuss further. Bear in mind, checking who boards: if it is almost exclusively overseas children, you are setting your child up for a torrid time if her first language is English. I don’t blame the children for connecting with others in their natural tongue, but it makes for an unhappy English as a first language child in my exp.

@LadyBugLovely

what did you decide in the end?!?

I’ve heard from friends with girls that Hanford is absolutely idyllic...
Dragon no good if you want full boarding - it’s really a day school these days with only a tiny handful of junior boarders.
Horris Hill and Cothill both proper boarding schools which let children be children.

@Thingaling The jury is still out, we’ve met with some HM and House parents to have a handful or so to visit properly when this allows. I do like Cothill but I think mixed would be best for everyone’s sanity when it comes to drop offs, games days etc. I am looking at Windlesham too @sandalsinthebin but yet to arrange a meeting. Also contemplating Port Regis but I need to investigate their boarding numbers a little closer.

@LadyBugLovely agree about checking boarding numbers carefully. In some
schools junior boarding has dwindled to just a tiny handful. The last thing you want is your child being one of only three or four. Ask the schools and also count the occupied beds...

Good luck finalising the search. I would just say don't be too sold on having both at one school if you think different schools suit the different children better. If they are three years apart your older one will only be at prep for three years and then your young one will have another three years there alone - so it has to be the best school for her too.

Windlesham House in West Sussex (coed, includes horse riding) might suit you.

We are trying to decide between Stonar Schol in Whiltshire and Westonbirt in Gloustershire. Its for a girls year 7 with dyslexia but copes well and an academic boy year 8. Would love any opinions. Many Thanks

Did you decide? How are the children getting on?