Looking for full boarding prep from Y3 recommendations

[LadyBugLovely]

Hi everyone,

First time boarding parent here. I’m looking for recommendations for full boarding preps (from age 7-13) for my DS and DD. Would prefer single sex schools for prep so would naturally need two different places... Is this going to cause me huge amounts of hassle?

Kids are bright. DS not super sporty, likes stem, tech building, individual pursuits in sport. DD more sporty and would like ponies at school, also v artsy.

I’m looking for:
Full boarding, pref 100% or a large amount of children doing full boarding.

Love international environments but don’t really want my kids to be the only ones not speaking mandarin or Russian etc. at the weekend.

Quite flexible with regards to area but would need to be ‘the south’. Quite close to Heathrow or Gatwick would be a bonus...

Schools would need to be within reasonable proximity to one another too I suspect to make this viable.

I’ve looked at Ludgrove but not sure if it is too much of a hot house and with competitive parents? I don’t drive a flash car etc. and don’t particularly entertain that type of pretension amongst parents and kids. Other options include Cothill and Horris Hill for DS. For DD I do quite like the look of Hanford but I’m not too sure if this is a bit too ‘informal’? These schools are nowhere close to each other either. I know it is much harder to find an all girls full boarding prep (and add in pony requirement to that) but would be grateful of ideas.

Are these ideas and criteria complete unrealistic?

I know that boarding school is an emotive subject, and that on mn you will get people crying 'child abuse' alongside those crying 'I loved it and it didn't do me any harm'

You also get the whole thing about - well, all the research has been done on old fashioned schools and they don't exist any more.

I am not against boarding. I work with families who live overseas, sometimes in remote areas and many choose to use boarding as an educational option.

BUT and it is a huge BUT, they mostly do it from age 10/11 or secondary.
Why? because the research has shown that it is damaging. Not opinion or annecdote, but solid research into the pyschological effects of putting young children into boarding school. It permanently damages them.

Nevertheless, despite that, school continue to offer it, and say that at their lovely school the kids will be fine. This is basically a sales pitch.

I may not be a perfect parent, I may have made lots fo mistakes, but when the psychologists say something is bad, then I try and avoid that.

Please consider other options, boarding in year 3 is not a good thing for your dd.

OP, do you have senior schools in mind for after. You may want to look at where the schools are feeding to.

Adro and Elstree have girls now. The head of Elstree used to co-Head Ludgrove, mostly feed to Eton and Bradfield due to location. Aldro is a big feeder to Charterhouse. They may be boy heavy for now, but may help you get both in one school. Not too sure how they do regarding horses, but both at rural locations, I'm sure you can work something out for DD local to the schools.

For DS there is also the usual Eton feeders you and others mentioned like Ludgrove, Sunningdale, SUmmerfields, St John's Beaumont, Papplewick, HH, etc. and co-eds Dragon.

Pilgrims will feed into Winchester, for the DS. Maybe St Swithuns for the girl, problem is I think they only start boarding at y7. I don't really know many girls schools in the area. Bedales (Dunhurst prep) is not too far and may accommodate both DC. The culture is more liberal, but WinCol has a very personal approach for DC that this may not be a problem. So you DS could join at 13, then DD at 6th. Co-incidentally one or two wives of the HM at Wincoll teach at Bedales - may have DC there.

Most of the schools above will either have transport or a direct line into London for your airports. Some will have staff accompany the DC on train.

@Mummy195 I thinking potentially Marlborough for seniors. I have looked at Dragon as we have friends there. I wasn’t keen as I initially was quite focused on single sex. I feel more open to coed now though. It means they could start together and do weekly whilst we are still in the U.K. I will look at who they feed into more carefully. Thanks for your input!

Overall- thanks everyone with suggestions for school and ideas regarding single sex and coed. I’m going through options now, chatting to schools and looking at logistics etc. It’s always great to have some new ideas presented and not just stare blindly at schools used by old friends and family etc. Many thanks!

Ideally I’d like to pick up Hanford and move it to Berkshire. I suppose it wouldn’t be the same though! Might have to relax on the pony idea. DD loves them though and would be brill if she could bring her own to school stable!

That’s one of the documentaries mentioned on this thread about boarding at Highfield m.youtube.com/watch?v=d6vfjWBT45o

Yes that's the one! Well found!

@LadyBugLovely have a look at Windlesham House School in Sussex. Boarding co-ed prep school with a really lovely atmosphere. It used to have a lot of kids abroad, not sure now, but definitely worth considering.

Thank you @Stokey, will do

I've had two sons at Cothill, OP, full boarders from Y4. I would say Cothill was everything we could have hoped for; dedicated to boyhood and producing friendly, unpretentious, well-rounded boys who are excellently prepared academically and socially to move on happily to senior school and hit the ground running. It's academic enough without being either selective or a hot house, sporty enough without breeding toxic competitiveness, and the teaching staff are genuinely inspirational. Pastoral care was brilliant. I know there are huge reservations on MN about boarding, and you will need to be sure it's right for parents and DC. What you can see is that the number of boarders increases through the school but those who arrived in the junior years formed a tight bond and were totally at ease with it and well placed to cope with other challenges when the academic demands on them increased in the upper years. I think my boys would have found it harder to break in to ready-made social groups had they arrived further up the school. As it was, despite being from the less privileged end of the Cothill demographic, with uncool parents, a lack of gadgets or material possessions, not being in the A teams for any sport, they both still became respected figures because they were good citizens, confident, responsible, kind and willing to try new things. Both became prefects and both won places at one of the great schools. Is boarding for every family? Certainly not. Can it work brilliantly? Yes if can. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

@Darbishire27 You know, I’ve only ever heard good things about that school. Thank you!

Hmm ... I'm sure Cothill is lovely, (and the French connection was tempting iirc) but I'm aware that, at least a handful of years ago (don't know about now) they offered no bursaries at all - which must have made for a rather homogenous intake.

@PursuingProxemicExactitude
It's not a hugely socially mixed school but certainly there are now bursaries available and there were both sports and music scholars during our time there. Incidentally they also now offer a degree of flexibility for juniors with the full boarding, which I know was previously an issue for some families.

Bursaries for new entrants - or just boys already there?

Ah, ok, I've looked it up -

Such support is known as a Bursary and these may be awarded in the form of a discount of up to 100% of the day tuition fees, depending on the financial circumstances of applicants.

Interesting. I haven't come across the 'day tuition fees' thing before - but at least it's a step forward.

I hope you have found some great suggestions to be looking at.
I would say have a good think about senior destination and work back from there as prep schools prepare for a range of schools but some prepare a lot better than others!
So there are specific prep schools that feed the major full boarding seniors and they will be so experienced and professional at their remit, which may well be full boarding. They certainly won’t be full of teachers who “don’t think they should be boarding at this age”!!!

As a caveat, any school that allows flexi or weekly boarding WILL have a big take up on that. I feel only full boarding schools offer a good and 100% reliable weekend programme. Full boarding is rare at prep with the two weekly boarding option becoming popular.
On another note, I get so cross with the vigilante types who hijack these threads with emotional pleas for you to act in a way you have already expressly said you don’t want to do. It’s rude, arrogant and clearly not asked for.
I think you will struggle to find a large choice of genuine full boarding prep schools but research is your friend!
Completely out of the area but Beeston Hall prep in blissful North Norfolk has day or two weekly boarders. Nothing in between and because of this boarding model, a lot go into to full boarding seniors and are well prepared for them. These prep schools are all around the UK you just need to hunt them out. The ones on the Tatler guide probably have lots of boarding preps on there so a great place to start your research.
Final point as well as asking for week and weekend boarding numbers, choose a prep that feeds the majority of their leavers to full boarding schools as these will likely contain a lot of boarding in year 7 and 8. Prep boarding earlier than this is rarely well supported unless in fixed boarding preps like Ludgrove.

Thank you @leftandaright. I have a couple on my shortlist and working from there. I will look Beeston Hall too, although it might be a little way out east! It is a contentious topic - however it is what are family is doing and DCs are very excited at the prospect.

Full boarding is rare at prep with the two weekly boarding option becoming popular.

However, in my (extremely recent) experience, it's nigh on impossible for a child to be at school for much more than two weeks without a break even at a full boarding prep. As a parent / guardian you spend the entire time racing up and down the motorway picking up and dropping off from compulsory exeats, as well as all the other holidays and odd days for this and that. On top of which, you'll want to be there for the usual school events, plays, concerts, sporting fixtures, chapel or whatever alternative is offered. No one should ever imagine that 'full boarding' means waving them off in September and not seeing them again till Christmas. (I think lots of people who know no better do believe this.)

Have a look at Sandroyd, great all rounder and my DC have friends there who love it. The location is idillic and it seems to be a really happy school. Satisfies your DD’s horsey requirements, and feeds into Eton, Marlborough etc.

Only criticism I have heard is that they don’t offer much for DP on the social side. Meeting other parents and getting numbers is tricky; there are no class WhatsApps etc.

@PursuingProxemicExactitude

Full boarding is rare at prep with the two weekly boarding option becoming popular.

However, in my (extremely recent) experience, it's nigh on impossible for a child to be at school for much more than two weeks without a break even at a full boarding prep. As a parent / guardian you spend the entire time racing up and down the motorway picking up and dropping off from compulsory exeats, as well as all the other holidays and odd days for this and that. On top of which, you'll want to be there for the usual school events, plays, concerts, sporting fixtures, chapel or whatever alternative is offered. No one should ever imagine that 'full boarding' means waving them off in September and not seeing them again till Christmas. (I think lots of people who know no better do believe this.)

I agree! Most parents I know with full boarding pre children saw than at least once if not twice a week at matches and then collected them if not fortnightly, definitely three weekly. Children were very happy boarding snd parents very happy popping over every few days to watch them at school events. A lot of people choose full boarding prep schools close to home now for that very reason. Not like a generation ago when parents didn’t see or speak to their dc for a month at a time. It couldn’t be further from that these days. This sentiment will make the anti-boarding parents on MN very cross 😂 as it really does not fit the narrative they like to peddle of poor, forgotten orphan-like children abandoned by parents who hate their children so much they force them to board in institutions that even the teachers working there despise 🥱

I had my two boys at Brambletye School in East Grinstead, though they didn't board until the final year or so. It was a lovely school, it's co-ed and excellent on the pastoral side. Beautiful setting, excellent facilities and my boys loved it. Both got scholarships for their senior schools. It's really handy for Gatwick airport too. (It's Benedict Cumberbatch's old prep school as well )

In true forum fashion...
+1

poor, forgotten orphan-like children abandoned by parents who hate their children

It's the "sent away" that makes me see red. Even after a decade on MN I never manage to ignore that one.

Full boarding at 8 years old?

Would they be going home at weekends?

Most parents I know with full boarding pre children saw than at least once if not twice a week at matches and then collected them if not fortnightly, definitely three weekly. Children were very happy boarding snd parents very happy popping over every few days to watch them at school events

I bet they were, they’re leaving the hard work of raising children to the school and just swanning by for the ‘parental pride’ moments 🙄