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Looking for full boarding prep from Y3 recommendations

149 replies

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 14:43

Hi everyone,

First time boarding parent here. I’m looking for recommendations for full boarding preps (from age 7-13) for my DS and DD. Would prefer single sex schools for prep so would naturally need two different places... Is this going to cause me huge amounts of hassle?

Kids are bright. DS not super sporty, likes stem, tech building, individual pursuits in sport. DD more sporty and would like ponies at school, also v artsy.

I’m looking for:
Full boarding, pref 100% or a large amount of children doing full boarding.

Love international environments but don’t really want my kids to be the only ones not speaking mandarin or Russian etc. at the weekend.

Quite flexible with regards to area but would need to be ‘the south’. Quite close to Heathrow or Gatwick would be a bonus...

Schools would need to be within reasonable proximity to one another too I suspect to make this viable.

I’ve looked at Ludgrove but not sure if it is too much of a hot house and with competitive parents? I don’t drive a flash car etc. and don’t particularly entertain that type of pretension amongst parents and kids. Other options include Cothill and Horris Hill for DS. For DD I do quite like the look of Hanford but I’m not too sure if this is a bit too ‘informal’? These schools are nowhere close to each other either. I know it is much harder to find an all girls full boarding prep (and add in pony requirement to that) but would be grateful of ideas.

Are these ideas and criteria complete unrealistic?

OP posts:
PursuingProxemicExactitude · 23/03/2021 15:25

May I ask why you need boarding for a child of seven? I have boarding experience stretching from the 1970s up until right now - and I am a huge advocate of boarding (for the right child). But I wouldn't send any child until I felt they were mature enough to cope, and that wouldn't be at seven.

The thing is, even our most recent, totally perfect boarding prep now only takes boarders from yr 4 ...

Skatingpark97 · 23/03/2021 15:27

I think Godstowe is your main other option for dd in the U.K. - if you search on Godstowe in Mumsnet you may find similar searches. It's very unusual for a dd to fully board before age 11.

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 15:40

Thank you, I have heard of Godstowe. I will investigate further.
Our circumstances are quite unusual, DC would be 8 and 10 at the start of boarding.

If I was to move away from single sex preps, are there any you would particularly recommend for co-ed?

OP posts:
GreyBow · 23/03/2021 15:40

Do you have or can you get hold of the Tattler School Guide? It's usually available on their website to buy the edition of. I have done that before.

Worth a read, but tbh in your situation I would use a consultant to advise as what you need is quite specific and I think you need to fully explain it to someone at length. There are a few who are good and you can get a feel for what they are like.

However, if you are impatient, I'd take a look at Godstowe...

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 15:48

Thank you. I will look to get a copy and engage with a consultant.
There is no great rush but I’d like to just rake through the options for now.

OP posts:
Zodlebud · 23/03/2021 16:48

Godstowe has boarders but it has far more day girls and flexi / weekly boarders that full boarders. Full boarders tend to be the older girls too in preparation for 13+ boarding entry and it is a long way off the 100% full boarding you are after. There are very very few all girls full boarding prep schools.

I would look for a coed school as I honestly think the big boarding cohort is more important than single sex at that age. Schools that are mainly full boarding are Ludgrove and Cottesmore spring to mind as obvious choices.

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 17:00

Thank you Zodlebud, I’ve just snowed in on single sex as I liked Cothill. Coed might make life easier for everyone...

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 23/03/2021 17:04

Gosh boarding at such a young age !!!

Are you sure about this op?

Twizbe · 23/03/2021 17:05

Are your DC close? If so I'd look for co Ed at that age. They can be a comfort to each other as they settle in.

PursuingProxemicExactitude · 23/03/2021 17:30

They can be a comfort to each other as they settle in.

Hmm ... It's maybe not a good idea to hang out with your sibling as a new boarder. You need to be proactively making friends.

OP, have you dismissed the Dragon? Or Summer Fields? The latter (boys) is considered completely idyllic by recent pupils, and I know several people with fond memories of the former (co-ed).

But I hope you'll find another way to manage until the children are at least ten years old.

GreyBow · 23/03/2021 17:42

There's also no reason why your boy can't go to a single and your girl to a coed. The important thing is finding the right school for that child at that time (and having the confidence to change them if it doesn't end up suiting them in a few years!)

Maybe they'd be better off together. But you know them.

I do think a good consultant is important here. I have worked with a few, and they have been excellent so it's really a case of finding a consultant you gel with who you feel really understands.

SavingsQuestions · 23/03/2021 17:46

Is there really no other option? Or extemded family they could stay with at weekends etc?

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 17:50

They are close as siblings but not super close- quite different characters.

Thank you- I will look into Dragon a bit more as well.

For posters commenting on age- I am fully decided 10 DC will board. Contemplating 8DC predominately as they have asked board. I also have an alternative on my hands which does not consist of a lovely day school for a another few years, nor does it consist of a nice and steady primary until ‘it’s time’.

OP posts:
LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 17:58

@GreyBow

There's also no reason why your boy can't go to a single and your girl to a coed. The important thing is finding the right school for that child at that time (and having the confidence to change them if it doesn't end up suiting them in a few years!)

Maybe they'd be better off together. But you know them.

I do think a good consultant is important here. I have worked with a few, and they have been excellent so it's really a case of finding a consultant you gel with who you feel really understands.

Thank you- I will look into the co-ed for DD or DS. I do like the idea of an all girls environment as well so I’m not entirely sure. I have spoken to a couple of girls who just loved all girls boarding because they felt ‘free’ and ‘safe’. I can understand that aspect!
OP posts:
errorofjudgement · 23/03/2021 17:58

Stonar school for your DD?
From their website:
Stonar is a British Horse Society approved Equestrian Centre and riding has been a core feature of the school for several decades. The outstanding onsite facilities include first class indoor and outdoor schools, stabling for 65 horses, a cross country schooling field with a wide variety of different fences and a hacking track.

Aethelthryth · 23/03/2021 18:00

Summer Fields is paradise for little boys. my son boarded from 8 and was very happy there

errorofjudgement · 23/03/2021 18:00

Actually just checked, boarding is from year 5 so might not go down young enough

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 18:57

Thank you Aethelthryth and errorof!

OP posts:
GreyBow · 23/03/2021 19:42

Stonar has barely any U.K.
Boarders. It's a great school, but not for younger boarding and most certainly nothing like a full boarding school.

GreyBow · 23/03/2021 19:47

@LadyBugLovely I know. I have worked in some of the most prestigious all girls schools in the U.K. in the past. But I ended up paying full fees to send my eldest to a coed full boarding school instead. But that's just what I felt was right for my child.

Girls schools don't do things like CCF. It depends if you want that or not? The safe feeling is against what a coed school does in pushing them outside their comfort zone. I didn't even think I did want that, but my girl absolutely adored it 😆

LadyBugLovely · 23/03/2021 20:06

That’s very true @GreyBow I do think my DD wouldn’t be too bothered by boys as she does play with boys as well as girls. I think as a parent it just felt a bit more protected somehow.
I think I will expand my search to include coeds for potentially both as I think like you that the amount of borders weigh heavier than single sex.

OP posts:
MrPickles73 · 24/03/2021 07:56

The Elms has ponies and is coed near Malvern.
Our DC, aged 7 and 10 have just started at a coed prep. We just moved DD from an all girls school. I went to an all girls school myself but DD wasn't particularly happy and there was too much focus for my liking on phones, appearance and music videos. She is finding her new coed class more balanced and friendly.
It's easier logistics for us having both children at the same school and they see one another from a distance one or twice a day and have tennis lessons together.
The 10 y.o. girl has tried flexi boarding and loved it. They do 1 or 2 nights a week. Our son would also like to try it (yr3) but not one other boy in yr 3 or 4 flexi boards Confused. So he wouldn't have a chum do we have had to put this on ice much to his disappointment. Boarding seems to kick off in year 5.

AvaCallanach · 24/03/2021 08:20

I went to all girls boarding, admittedly some time ago. It was catty with nasty bullying, though I daresay they would come down harder on that these days. It certainly wasn't a place where girls felt free. We all left having no idea how to talk to boys and regarding them as an exciting alien life form.

As a child psychologist I would urge you to think extremely carefully about full boarding a year 3 child. There is a compelling reason why this is so hard to find; it causes damage. Very different from an occasional in school sleep over with pals.

MrPickles73 · 24/03/2021 08:55

There are some compelling films on youtube if you Google Uk youngest boarders which shows army families who have to send their 8 yr old daughters off to board. It shows that everyone survives in the end but both mother's and daughters are crying at one stage.. Confused. At one stage the mother cannot phone the child anymore and the dad has to do it to try to reign in the crying...
I would hold off til the children are 10 and send them coed so atleast they have each other. Number of boarders in the uk theses days below year 7 is v low. See the isc annual report.

CakesOfVersailles · 24/03/2021 09:27

Do you mind me asking if your older child is your DD or DS? Is the older one going into year 5, 6 or 7? And if the younger one (at 8) would be going into year 3 or 4? It really does change the options!

I think Hanford would be your best bet for your DD - I would worry less about the formality and more about the environment, ethos and community of the school. As much as I love the structure and 'formality' of boarding schools, there will be plenty of that at senior school. Hanford seems to tick all your boxes - especially ponies! Having said that, Godstowe is the girls prep so if you could be sure that there would be a few other junior boarders in her year I would seriously consider it.

But for a girl many families wait until year 7 for boarding and then go for the big year 7-13 girls boarding schools. Alternatively there are some girls schools that have prep and junior schools attached and boarders can start in junior but usually year 4 or 5 not year 3 (e.g. Godolphin (Salisbury), Badminton Junior, Thornton College, Adcote School or Royal Masonic School for Girls. Also Moreton Hall Prep starts boarding at year 3 and is co-ed to end of year 6, then girls only from year 7 in the senior school). These don't necessarily fit your geographical preferences just putting the idea out there.

Also note that the number of boarders usually increases year-on-year in these types of schools, number can be very low at the junior end, especially at weekends. I have seen this work well, one school I worked at had a junior boarder in two-three nights a week who was three years younger than the next boarder (she was only six!) and she loved it - she was like the little sister to seventy girls and she stayed on and became a full boarder end of year 6. I have also seen it not work - with one or two little girls alone in junior boarding houses and unhappy about it - for junior boarding I would be asking about weekend numbers very carefully.

Alternatively you could put your daughter in a co-ed prep and move her to a girls school at year 7. If your daughter is the younger child, this might line up with your children changing schools at the same time? There are an absolutely huge number of co-ed preps - I probably haven't even heard of half of them, and many offer boarding in some form or another. I have heard good things about Windlesham House, Hazelgrove, and Highfield and Brookham (the latter (H&B) is one school) for full boarding. I have also heard pretty good things about Vinehall, Sandroyd and Brambletye but more through the grapevine than from people directly involved if you see what I mean.

Not sure re geography again, but for your son have you looked at Sunningdale and Elstree? Boarding has become so popular at Sunningdale I believe they are phasing out day places to just be a boarding prep again. I have seen summer fields has already been recommended too.

Ludgrove is great in that all the boys are boarders but I believe they are fortnightly - i.e. go home every second weekend. This may be tricky if you are overseas though I am sure they have some type of arrangement for this.

With your children it can sometimes feel like you have limited options - e.g. looking for junior all girls boarding for your DD. Don't fall into the trap of thinking this way. Junior boarding is a "buyer's market" as there are more options than children for all but the most exclusive schools. Finding the right school for each child is more important. You want to make sure that the child fits in well and loves it. Most schools will bite your arm off for a junior full boarder - make sure the school is right for your child.

A top tip is to look for a prep with a large number of military families. I don't mean a military boarding school, I mean one where soldiers send their kids on continuing education allowances (CEA). They will likely be full boarding pupils who won't revert to groups speaking a language your DC can't when unsupervised. You may be a military family yourselves - I don't know!

Alternatively look for school with compulsory year 7/8 boarding. This will ensure plenty of company in the senior years.

Look at the things that will really matter: pastoral care and safeguarding would be number 1. Really drill down on this - different schools have different policies and you may be surprised what bothers you. For example I have worked in a girls school where men were not allowed in boarding - for example both the matron and a gap student had to supervise the plumber who came to fix a shower. At the other end I have seen schools where the head of junior boarding was a man who had unsupervised care over young girls.

Speak to any parents you can. Leavers' destinations are also very important - you want broad opportunities, year 9 will come faster than you know. Make sure you know the "pressure level" at the school. I have seen schools that publish weekly or fortnightly rankings of the class - alternately I have seen schools that won't even host an annual prize giving. And if your child has one or two hobbies they love, please pick a school that offers them - it's not like a day school where you can make it up in the evenings.

Check how the school functions - are girls and boys kept separate at co-ed preps? Are the sports options different - no point sending a cricket mad DD to a school where only boys are allowed on the team. No point sending your kids to a co-ed school to support each other if they are in separate houses and only see each from a distance. Also check on some things e.g. I have seen schools where the choir is almost entirely girls and this has put talented boys off. They may be better off in a school with less of a choir provision but a better boy/girl mix or boys only. Doesn't matter how good the choir is if your kid won't participate.

I would also say make back up plans. If your child comes home and says "Mum, I can't do this, I thought I was ready but I'm not and I don't want to go back." You need to have something in place. Reality can be quite different to what has been imagined. For your DD and Hanford, I believe they offer "one-term" places (or at least did before covid). Maybe your DD could try a term and if she isn't ready could come home again?

Not sure of your situation and what is possible for you. I have seen everything from international boarders who started at 8 and never left the UK again (parent was a judge in unstable developing nation with credible death threats issued against the children) right through to kids full boarding in the same village they lived in - by choice!

Don't be afraid if the school is not working out but they really can't come home to look at switching schools. I would say if something is terribly wrong take them out immediately, otherwise give it a full term at least but if it's been weeks and weeks and they haven't settled - have back up plans.

Good luck.