Looking for full boarding prep from Y3 recommendations

[LadyBugLovely]

Hi everyone,

First time boarding parent here. I’m looking for recommendations for full boarding preps (from age 7-13) for my DS and DD. Would prefer single sex schools for prep so would naturally need two different places... Is this going to cause me huge amounts of hassle?

Kids are bright. DS not super sporty, likes stem, tech building, individual pursuits in sport. DD more sporty and would like ponies at school, also v artsy.

I’m looking for:
Full boarding, pref 100% or a large amount of children doing full boarding.

Love international environments but don’t really want my kids to be the only ones not speaking mandarin or Russian etc. at the weekend.

Quite flexible with regards to area but would need to be ‘the south’. Quite close to Heathrow or Gatwick would be a bonus...

Schools would need to be within reasonable proximity to one another too I suspect to make this viable.

I’ve looked at Ludgrove but not sure if it is too much of a hot house and with competitive parents? I don’t drive a flash car etc. and don’t particularly entertain that type of pretension amongst parents and kids. Other options include Cothill and Horris Hill for DS. For DD I do quite like the look of Hanford but I’m not too sure if this is a bit too ‘informal’? These schools are nowhere close to each other either. I know it is much harder to find an all girls full boarding prep (and add in pony requirement to that) but would be grateful of ideas.

Are these ideas and criteria complete unrealistic?

Would paying for a private fostering arrangement be an option?

At least they would be together as siblings and could live a normal family life, albeit with different parents in term-time versus school holidays.

Forgot to add some other schools that are all -through girls (or majority girls) with junior boarding are Bruton School for Girls, Kent College, and Malvern St James but I can't speak for any of them.

@MrPickles73 Thanks for input. I haven’t decided on single sex yet and I am not 100% sure if it would be right for DD. I think I’m drawn to Hanford as it seems very far removed from phones and the social media type childhood.

@CakesOfVersailles This is so kind and extremely helpful. Thank you. So DS will start in Y6 although I am contemplating starting him last half term or so of Y5 to settle in a tad before a big move (not out of U.K.). With regards to DD I am thinking of starting her at age 8 (Y3) as we would potentially live close to school for that first year to do all Wednesday and Saturday sport afternoons etc. and ease it off with some week or flexi initially. I also think it might be easier on DS if they both went at the same time. If not she could start in Y4 age 9 but it might then mean we would live slightly further afield. Good point about the military children, I will keep that in mind.

Thank you!

As for the single sex or coed I think there are upsides to either system which makes me hesitant. I went to a coed prep, some girls were catty and bullish, boys flicked lighters under girls’ hair, sometimes grabbed us and touched us up. Commented on my flat chest and we’re physically intimidating and threatening. I did learn how to ‘handle’ (fight) boys after a while. Would have been nice not to have the stress and anxiety as an 10/11 year old though. It was a nice school in a great area.

Hanford has ponies and was my daughter's dream school. Unfortunately, I decided against it as we're in London and I didn't like the idea of her boarding so young. However, if she were to board Hanford would be my choice for DD.

@Xelam Thank you. It does seem lovely and a little world of its own!

Yes - it's lovely and have yet to hear a bad word about it. We met some staff from there and they were all incredibly friendly and my daughter was very close to moving there

I had two boys at Sunningdale from Year 3 onwards and it’s a lovely, cosy, traditional (as in no mobile phones etc) school

It does look super sweet @MummyPigRules thank you. I will contact them as well.

I now want to work at Hanford!

Look at Walhampton School near Lymington. My DDs went there (it's co ed) and I think it set them up wonderfully. They're adults now, so I'm out of the loop with the school.

Hanford is a really lovely all girls all boarding prep in the W country - not too bad for Heathrow. Previous PP is wrong to say boarding pre 11 is very rare for girls - it’s just that there are only a couple of all girls preps, most are co-Ed. I think Ludgrove and Summerfields are still all boys and all boarding, Pappewick still all boys but mix of full board weekly and day.

If you are living abroad really drill into the numbers of full boarders - schools are terribly dishonest about how many really stay for the weekend

@DressyNessy

Would paying for a private fostering arrangement be an option?

At least they would be together as siblings and could live a normal family life, albeit with different parents in term-time versus school holidays.

@DressNessy

🙄 As you must know the OP is trying to give her children and advantage in life by sending them to a top prep school, you also know fostering is hardly going to do that job. There is nothing wrong with saying you disapprove of early boarding, but an underhand comment like this is just bitchy.

Thank you @partyatthepalace - it just seems such a special place. I have understood they hugely inflate boarder numbers to include the odd flexi night etc. It now looks like we will be U.K. located for the next three years or so at least so Airport access might be less of a necessity for prep.

Partyatthepalace is quite right - there will be lots of upbeat marketing so you need to ask some specific questions about the number of children on a saturday night in specific years etc...

@MrPickles73 this seems to be the recurring message. With flexi and week boarding schools seem to roll it all into one higher figure.

Port Regis? Co-Ed and boarding starts from age 7, I think.

OP, I am not against boarding at all, but I do know that the research has shown that early boarding is on balance a negative thing for most kids.

Despite that every school that does early boarding will give you the success stories.

The recommended age is not before 10, and many schools, in response to that, only do boarding from year 5. There is a reason for that.

@steppemum

OP, I am not against boarding at all, but I do know that the research has shown that early boarding is on balance a negative thing for most kids.

Despite that every school that does early boarding will give you the success stories.

The recommended age is not before 10, and many schools, in response to that, only do boarding from year 5. There is a reason for that.

This. My ex boarded from young, he and his brothers would probably be quoted by the school as some of their "success stories' - and on a financial and status perspective they are, but their family unit is broken and they have huge personal issues.

I'd still consider it for a secondary child who really wanted it, but not for primary age children when you're based in the UK anyway. Very few children with local parents stay all weekend. You mention that you like the idea of them not having a 'phones and social media' type childhood, but at 7, unless there's something very wrong at home, they'll appreciate time with their parents and siblings more than any idyllic setting.

www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/08/boarding-school-syndrome-joy-schaverien-review

It definitely broadens the field if you're up for single sex of course, but if you're sticking to co-Ed I second Port Regis. Have family there who are really happy.

And boarding is completely child and school dependent, so 3rd hand negative stories (which are usually from another era when things were markedly different) are unhelpful in my humble.

Thanks @Legoninjago1 Port Regis might be an option and is geographically quite good.
I am very tempted by Hanford and a Boys’ school for DS (a couple of them located closer to London) but I am a little concerned about the geographical spread.

Lots of boys boarding preps around Berkshire. Aldro in Surrey also going coed actually. Not sure about their weekend boarder levels. I'd say the problem with choosing closer to London is that you'll probably get a higher proportion of London boys who flexi and weekly board. Except Sunningdale which is as a pp said is pretty full at weekends.

@Legoninjago1

And boarding is completely child and school dependent, so 3rd hand negative stories (which are usually from another era when things were markedly different) are unhelpful in my humble.

Why are they 3rd hand? My ex and I both boarded well into the 2000s, so are speaking from personal experience, and while things have changed in the past 15 years, I don't think it's 'another era', especially with many of the staff still the same, or at other similar schools around the country.

We did not have horribly traumatic experiences at the school itself - maybe DH a little more - but the structure itself is very traumatic for younger children, who fundamentally want and are biologically driven to be near their main carers. Boarding as an older teen had some big upsides, but as a young child, you're alone in a big place, if you are bullied then you are bullied in your home, and even if the staff are nice, they don't love you.

Weekday boarding maybe if needed, but weekend boarding for a pre-pubescent child is hard for me to understand, unless the family setup is so awful that it's an escape.