Is boarding school only for the wealthy?

[bigyellowballoon]

I am looking at secondary schools and would really like my only dc to board. She's confident outgoing intelligent all the things I wasn't and also being an only she does get lonely and I think it would suit her spending extra time with friends.
The thing is they seem to be absolutely out of bounds financially. Do 'normal' families go? We are at a prep at the moment but not at application stage for secondary yet.

If you go on "the student room, UK" there are many articles written by people - who have boarded very recently. Here is one:

" When I started boarding school. I knew very quickly I hated every minute of it. Told my family I was having the best time, trying to convince myself by telling other people that I was enjoying it all. I acc never wanted to talk about school unless somebody else other than me brought it up. I felt guilty if I told them. Cried every night, tried endless times to connect with other ppl and also felt different and ended up isolating myself towards the end. Despite all these feelings and other issues, I forced myself to complete the time I was to be there when I knew I wasn't happy... tbh quieting my emotions took its toll on me, i finished sixth form there with social anxiety and depression which i am currently dealing with."

I'm sure there are far, far more about state school. And it doesn't bother me, no, because I know and understand my own dd, amazingly I tend to make up my mind through personal experience, rather than through listening to randoms on the internet.

angell if you aren't contemplating boarding for your own children then it's probably time to stop trawling the internet for stories about boarding.

@trewser I know lots of people with personal stories too.

How can you say "you make up your own mind, and don't listen to randomers on the internet", when the whole premise of mumsnet , is "asking randomers on the internet" for advice.

@Trewser what does "not many people like talking about having enough money to beat the system" even mean?

My family had money. My dad went to boardingn school. I still think that the elitist system of schooling in the UK is awful.

I hate threads like these - I am sending darling dd to boarding school for 30 k , oh I am so poor earning 100 k a year.

When last week, I was out feeding the homeless on the streets in Liverpool.

But, hey I am a nice person .

But, hey I am a nice person

Yeah, so you've said on many threads.

angel

I'm sorry you had such a bad time, your parents have a lot to answer for.
I can tell by her actions how much my dd enjoys her school, I'm sure if she wasn't talking about it we would realise and find out why she wasn't happy and remove her from the school.
It's a shame you felt unable to approach your parents about your unhappiness.
Boarding school doesn't work for everyone

Well said LinnetBird.

My ex had a horrendous time being bullied at his state school which left him emotionally scarred for life (hence the ex). I dont assume all people who go to state schools are emotionally stunted or that we should close them all down.

@angell84 Maybe you should wait for other people to compliment you. Feeding the homeless is only selfless if you don't mention it at every opportunity (which has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand).

The issue is school fees and as someone who lives in London and also earns just over £100K a year, has a huge mortgage, school and childcare expenses - I could not afford to pay the usual boarding school fees (which is what this thread is about).

Having come from the German education system, I also think the English school system is insane, but this is the system we have.

Does she even want to board? You say you think she might like it, but have you actually spoken to her properly about it? I've watched documentaries about boarding school life and tbh it doesn't look that great.

There are several on youtube. The reporting may be biased in some cases, not in others.
Have a look at these and see how you feel, even with the best reporting they can't make the kids look happy. Here are a few.

Yeah,terrible,the children look really unhappy

nolan

I meant they are hardly going to look that happy, if they aren't.
The proof is in the pudding, it's even their own filming. Not like being put up to it for an official school marketing film.

But, hey I am a nice person .

I disagree Angell84. You certainly have a high opinion of yourself and you obviously get a kick out of virtue signalling, but I don’t think a nice person gratuitously criticises anyone who has different opinions.

Forces children get paid places. Parents just pay boarding fees. I did this, where I boarded I would guess about 85 percent were forces children, maybe 10 percent or more international students mainly from Hong Kong and I would say definitely less than 5 percent if that wealthy British students. Pretty much all the day pupils were from local wealthy families with the odd scholarship pupil.

Assuming budget is not massive, choices are state boarding school or a scholarship at a private boarding school.

State boarding schools are surprisingly easy to get in to and they don’t charge for lessons, only for the boarding and meals. It’s only £6,500 to £8,500 per year from memory and not much more than to would spend on them at home if you reckon it all up.

Scholarships also surprisingly easy if your child is good at sports, music or at academic stuff or both. Twist is that some pay up to full fees on a means-tested basis and others pay only a token 10%. Do the research.

I thought 100% scholarships don't exist anymore? Bursaries do, but are means-tested and very few schools offer them "means-blind". At some schools you can get 100% bursaries if you earn less than £30K pa.

100% scholarships don't exist anywhere we looked at. The only place that openly offered 50% was Millfield.

No. Theres tonnes of poor people in them 🙄

In lots of cases prep schools will be more monied as there are lots of parents that will just do private secondary - obviously that changes a bit when you look at the Etons of this world. The boarding as an option to provide childcare does seem a bit sledgehammer to crack a nut for a 13 year old. Would you consider a more local boarding school that has day school places with flexi-boarding?

Within 30 mins of me there are two public boarding schools that I’d not feel comfortable sending a pupil as a day (high percentage of boarders and extortionate day fees), two day only and two boarding schools with a high percentage of day pupils. My children are only small but I really like the latter two schools as the facilities are brilliant and both provide the option of occasional flexi boarding which would be helpful for occasional work travel.

I've known a few people whose children have boarded, I have to say I never thought about whether or not they were wealthy but they were obviously able to afford the fees. Some may have received scholarships or bursaries but I didn't ask, not my business.

There's a boarding school near where I live, I've known a couple of young people who went there as a day pupils. I looked up the fees for boarding:

Weekly Boarder
£10,320 per term

Full Boarder
£10,960 per term

That's quite a bit for most people to find, however they talk about a charitable trust that helps people less well off so there are ways and means.

There's state boarding schools where the education is free but you pay for boarding, some prioritise kids on islands/rural areas others accept any applicants but they attend normal state school. Why do you think sending her away will help her?

Just read the update, boarding is £30-40k so if you can earn £25k you could afford it but many boarding schools enter at 13 which means you could work for 3 years and save up

You could work for three years and save £200k 🤔

I found this about state boarding schools, apparently there are 38 of them in the UK. I had no idea there were so many.

www.ukboardingschools.com/advice/the-state-boarding-schools-association/#.XdCsojL7RAY

Thing is, are state boarding schools any better than a state day school? I honestly don't know.

Thing is, are state boarding schools any better than a state day school? I honestly don't know.

Most state boarding schools are also day schools too, so the normal situation applies, i.e. it depends on the school. You need to look at Ofsted reports, do the tours, do your own research, etc just like with any school. Few, if any, will be exclusively boarding schools and most will have most of their pupils as day pupils.

There are two near me. There's Dallam, which is a reasonably performing state comp and also LRGS which is a state grammar school. In both, the number of boarders is relatively small compared with the total pupil roll. At LRGS for example, there are about 25 boarders per year but about 150 pupils per year, so boarders are about a sixth.