will someone scold and spank me and remined me I am a stubborn socialist guardianista?

[twinsetandpearls]

I have always made my feelings clear about private schools but the family has been working on me again and have ordered a proespectus for a private school that I have been idly flicking through and I have fallen in love with it and even - and this is a big deal for me - looked at the website.

For me this is a huge step and I am feeling sick with guilt, so guilty in fact that I have just re planned all my lessons tomorrow for my classes as some kind of penenance.

I need other socialist guardianistas to take me in hand.

Sorry for gender change. Afraid when it comes to religion I have little helpful advice to offer and tend towards sacrilege

The prospectus may be lovely, but do you really want your dc's growing up mixing with an incredibly narrow section of society, accepting privilege as of right and treating the rest of the world like dust beneath their charriot wheels?

Bit extreme I know, but you needed taking in hand and shock treatment is soemtimes effective.

Hmm, the words "beat" and "jesuit" in the same sentence, Twinset...

Perhaps we could apply and they might spot my strange ways and not allow us in, after all they must turn some away.

twinset, embrace the dark side and think of the discount on dd's fees...

I think private ed is fab btw, am easily seduced by academic gowns, hockey teas, nice lawns...dh fortunately keeps me real

Sorry S&M isn't my forte either

duchesse I am catholic through and through

katelyle you are right of course I must stop this.

dh devoted antagonist of priv ed, btw...

Good on him

Once you start justifying your choice you have already joined the slippery slope

I love my school too much to turn to the dark side and to be honest I don;t think they would even consider me if I wanted a job.

But i am not justifying it , I still think it is wrong, but aren't most tempting things wrong?

lol dp is now having a wobble, he thinks that dd would be the poorest kid there! He is the one who has been nagging for years about sending dd to a private school.

Sorry - didn't mean justify, I meant qualify. You said the school better meets your faith requirements.

Most of my friends send thir kids to private school, I dont, we dont have the money, and I wouldnt want to either. I really dont think my son is getting much worse education than them. He gets lots of outings, have made good friends, has lots of different children from relatively different backgrounds in his class (though it is fairly middle class), children from different nationalities etc. I would not want him to socialise only with really rich kids, I would worry he would be teased, or feel bad that we have less.

Well, I am going to play devil's advocate here. I used to be dead set against private education. Being at state school good enough for me, good enough for them, rah rah foam at mouth, fall over backwards

Then I realised after working in some state schools that my son in particular would not do well anywhere, that he would either sink without a trace or turn his powers to evil in the absence of 1) regular physical exercise and 2) intellectual exercise. The choice kid of made itself at 7, when his only option was a class of 35 in a school without outdoor playtimes, whose only sport was cross-country running. 1) won it for me. That and the long holidays away from the daily grind (I actually like having my children at home. I'm weird like that.).

I don't think of private school as schools for the rich, although obviously the very destitute are not going to be represented in them, because I know that loads of private school parents sacrifice loads of other things to pick what they think is the right school for their particular child. One size does not fit all, the national curriculum is a straight-jacket, and "standard" teaching methods do not suit every child. Most of the children I taught in the private school I worked in thought I was utterly mad when I deployed the very PC inclusive teaching methods I use in state school. It doesn't move fast enough for them, they don't need a lot of repetition, and they actually prefer to learn via the written word. I ended up teaching in a way that would get me blacklisted in a state school, but it was right for the situation and the children.

That's why I think it's horses for courses. Choose the school for the child, not for the other potentially attractive things such as teas and gowns.

yes you are right plummy mummy I even found myself imagining dd making her first holy communion in the chapel.

I passionatly don't want dd to only mix with rich kids, I have worked so hard to give ehr a normal life in difficult circumstances that I would be throwing all that away.

I am not interested in gowns as I said it is the spirtual side of the school and the discipline as dd has the potential to go off the rails in a dramatic manner.

Dd also has lots of boffin traits, for example she squealed with delight when she saw the observatory and she ahs inherited her mother's fasicination with catholicism

I work in a state school and a very challenging one, dd would do well at my school but we could not offer her what this school does, but does that matter in the long term?

Well you are obviously a devoted mum and I'm sure you will make the right choice. Don't beat yourself up about it too much

No I will beat myself up about it whatever I do, at present i feel guilty about the fact that I did not send dd to the school she wanted, that I put my principles before dd and that I have sent her to a church school knowing that other children are at worse schools and that the catholic schools in my town make it dificult for the non faith schools. I am in an eternal state of guilt.

You are a perfect Catholic in that case. I am a lapsed one but retain the guilt - wtf?!

Oh no, I said that bit about the gowns in reaction to something someone said further down. At my children's school they don't even wear gowns except on very special occasions such as founders' day. I think it's the history and perceived stability of deep-rooted traditions that attract people. In a constantly changing world, it's nice to have something dependable, that hasn't changed much for generations (in a good way hopefully...).

I don't want to subvert your OP, Twinset, but I was wondering how those of you who are seriously anti-private school (and I don't say that with any pejorative connotations) feel about schools such as Christ's Hospital, King Edwards School, Wymondham School or Anglo-European College, all of which are either private or state boarding schools that help entire families through difficult times and massive upheaval. I'm just interested because you essentially get the same at these as you do at private school, but are either free or at very reduced means-tested fees.

We are amongst the less well off at an independent school (compared to other parents who have 5 racehorses and have just knocked down a £2mil house to build a new one) and TBH it isn't a big problem at the moment.

We don't spend Autumn hols in Dubai, winter Skiing and Summer hols od at least 4 weeks as many of the class do. Although, obviously we are not destitute. A gf made a bitchy comment about 'not everyone can afford school fees' but she smokes 20 - 40 per day that's a terms fees per year. I know what I'd rather spend my money on.

Most families buy uniform at the school second hand shop so the fact that my dd has mostly pre worn items does not matter.

My dd (and ds for that matter) would be lost in a larger class. I send her to the village brownies and she has many friends from differing financial/family situations.