will someone scold and spank me and remined me I am a stubborn socialist guardianista?

[twinsetandpearls]

I have always made my feelings clear about private schools but the family has been working on me again and have ordered a proespectus for a private school that I have been idly flicking through and I have fallen in love with it and even - and this is a big deal for me - looked at the website.

For me this is a huge step and I am feeling sick with guilt, so guilty in fact that I have just re planned all my lessons tomorrow for my classes as some kind of penenance.

I need other socialist guardianistas to take me in hand.

I don't know many Catholics with just the one child - will you be able to afford the fees for the other 4 or 5? .

Our local Catholic prep school (Deo Gloria) has a fee scheme which definitely works in favour if larger families - essentially regardless of the number of children in the family you never pay for more than two sets of fees. My non-Catholic friend with one chld who goes there was a bit put out to realise that she was subsidising the families with 4 or more children.

I can't have any more children, so I have not looked into the pay structure for larger families.

Of course if I could have more children I would be reproducing like a rabbit on heat, that is all us catholics are good at, except those really clever ones who go to Eton.

If you're really going to live just next door and you save the state £5k a year and you devote your life to the state system the only reason I can see not to send her is because it looks bad to your colleagues but if Ruth Kelly can do it and Blair can get tutors from Westminster etc I don't see why you can't. It's a none issue.

Why not leave it in the hands of God by letting her sit and if God thinks it's fine she'll get in and if she doesn't that's fine too.

looking bad to my colleagues is not an issue as I would say half the staff use private schools.

It is looking bad to myself that I worry about

But surely a well educated daughter can go forth and forge a successful life and will be more likely to be able to enter the cabinet, lead BP and help the poor than someone who is more likely to do badly at school and unlikely to lead the nation so surely by educating her well but on sound moral principles you enable her to give back to society more than if she is reduces her chances of success in this society we live in.

god i feel your pain

I went to something at Millfield at the weekend and now want dd1 to go there

surely it is everythign I despise

That is not something you can change that easily then.

I think that you need to be able to summarise your position in one or two sentences - whilst you have argued very well on this thread I'm still not sure that I come away with the single principle that you stand for that would justify this decision to your family. But once you have that summary then you need to persuade your dh to back you in this - it is a significant decision for your dd and you must be in agreement on it.

My prejudices are coming aout again, I read you post as lead the BNP!

I am not so keen on Millfield. It's known as the place you go if you're not that clever but good at sport. Too many damaged children is my general view of it and I've seen the end products too. I still think the day private schools have the upper hand on most bases unless I suppose the child would be abused at home and boarding is needed as a refuge.

How do you know all this XEnia?

Millfield is the name of a local veryscary secondary school which has just come off special measures, which clouds my judgement somewhat.

sounds perfect for dd1 then xenia

But it does have a bishop and a man that looks like Frank Butcher in a pastel blue suit.

it isnt that bad xenia I know plenty of nice kids that go there (day kids) times are changing and boarding is not so popular anywhere

Xenia! LOL at leaving it in God's hands. Have you not loaded the dice there?

and Tony Blackburn went to Millfield surely that can make up for all the thick sporty types.

ok let us know the name of your preferred choice twinset I can take the piss out of it for you

Millfield is what MIL wants for ds. Her friend's grandson goes there. For the fencing apparently

fencing is great

I know. I used to fence. But why they would think that a plus for ds, 5, poor hand-eye coordination, is beyond me...

don't be ridiculous Xenia of course you're not "saving" the state £5k a year. and I don't think it is a non issue, if the middle classes all opt out of the state system then of course it will affect the state system and the education for the vast majority of the children in this country and have a knock on effect on the economy and the social structure of the country.
what individual politicians choose to do is neither here nor there

But the middle classes aren't all opting out of state education. Middle classes who live in middle class areas are usually very happy to use their middle class state schools. 7% of kids are meant to be in private schools - these aren't all the brightest by any means - some of them would be below average.

Ok, I am clearly not as clever as you eloquent and very well informed and well thought through people (I mean it, not tongue in cheek, I have very little backround in the socialist reading materials and principles and -isms in general), but Twinset, does it really boil down to this:

EITHER provide your very obviously intelligent and possibly gifted dd with an education that can only fuel her learning and rocket her further in her educational and social development at a school that is superior, BUT not look good to yourself for doing so;
OR leave her at a perfectly adequte school which for sure will not leave her at a disadvantage as she is a clever and well brought up child and look good for yourself as you are true to your principles of schooling.

BUT is it so that you are not true to your principles of schooling anyway, as you already have doubts as you are considering this school? IF you truly believed that your child was better of in the state sector you would not even look at a private school? OR could it be that you ARE true to your principles in YOUR everyday life and work but cannot inflict those principles on your child until she is old enough to have a debate with you and decide for herself.

Are you really just scared that you will be classified as a certain type of parent for doing so? Who cares? You can afford it! You are already doing so much in the state educational sector, you dont have to educate your own daughter there! Yes state education can be good, but without teachers who realize it could be better (like you) there would be no improvement, so really, it is a good sign that you are sending your dd to private school. It means you are a truly commited teacher in the state educational sector who recognises room for improvement and hence, send her child where she can get the best possible education. It is NOT saying state is not good enough, only that it can be improved and YOU take part in that improvement. Every day.

(am I fishing for a reason for you?)

They do fencing at my ds's (state primary) after-school club. The infant fencing is particularly cute -- a bunch of little 5yo with plastic masks and little foam foils.