DS was the only child in his class who didn't go to grammar/get a scholarship :(

[KnifesHope]

DS is doing okay at his new school (state secondary) but feels a bit crap that he was the only one who didn't get a 'better' offer.

There were 15 children in his prep school, 8 went to grammar schools and 6 received scholarships.

The other years, there were normally at least a couple of children who went to a state school/paid to go privately again. I can't believe how many got places!

Oh well, just feel bad for DS :(

no it really isn't.

You see education as a commodity that can be reduced to value added and profitability - as in likelihood to get into a "good" next school/college/uni. Which is why you told the OP she had wasted her money in sending her child to a prep school since he didn't get into a grammar or a private secondary.

I don't. You can certainly tell me that I feel and act the same as you but that doesn't make it true.

Mrz an independent school doesn't have to follow the NC, nor does it have to give this year's SATS papers or any other SATs papers.

But what it may choose to do is use previous papers to give both school and parent a guide in where they would be if they had sat SATs papers.

I can well believe a prep school would give a child an exam paper that contained level 6 questions that were given in previous years. And say they were able to complete level 6.

Also re sport I do not know of any state primaries that provide timetabled 1.5 hr sport every day Mon, Tues, Thu and Fri and 3hrs Wed. Plus hour optional activity 3 days a week as all the independent schools do by me.

So I'm not sure what you are accusing the op of lying about.

Where did I suggest they did? The OP stated her child achieved level 6 in SATs tests I merely pointed out that there isn't a level 6 this year or any level 6 questions.

I should hope the OP didn't pay someone to administer out of date tests

You can always join grammar school late aged 13 or 16 or whatever. He's obviously bright enough but needs a less pressurised environment

Anyway the comp is outstanding? Is the grammar outstanding?

Sounds like the school made the right choice and he's in the best environment.

My DN was tutored at prep for grammar, which they got in to but then struggled the entire time with anxiety, the pressure and generally not being able to cope. It was bloody horrible to watch.

Poor thing really suffered with their mental health, found it hard to make friends and generally had a terrible time. Not worth it IMO.

He will probably feel better when he make good friendships

What's the big deal with going to the grammar? I have three sons, one opted not to go straight away and has just started uni after doing very well in a levels (studying architecture) , one chose not to sit the test and one went and absolutely hated it and moved within six weeks and is flourishing.
It's not the be all and end all.

Rather than just giving last year's or this year's paper or a paper from five years ago, I suspect the school has created their own internal exam and is an amalgamation of all tests available.

Surely a child with level 6 SATS is bright enough to pass the 11+?

It's not a matter of pass or fail. There are limited number of places at selective schools, so it comes down to the top 100 or whatever, so it's simply competition (just like real life). If the prep school knows that the area is either super-selective or otherwise very high marks are required to gain a grammar place, then even level 6 SATS may not be a high enough ability. Quite simply, level 6 will be good enough in lots of areas, but not in others.

"Rather than just giving last year's or this year's paper or a paper from five years ago, I suspect the school has created their own internal exam and is an amalgamation of all tests available."

Except the OP said they paid for their child to take the SATs privately.

Oh ok that was my misinterpretation I thought Op meant sat them privately as in at the independent not as a private arrangement.

My eldest got level 6 says, didn't pass the 11 plus but got top grades at GCSEs, it's not the end of the world.

The one thing that puzzles me, op, is that you must have known your DS would end up feeling left out when all his cohort went to grammar or independent schools at age 11. It seems this prep school didn't have a y8 CE preparation and this would possibly have been a better route. Alternatively, why did he not go to one of the independent schools with a friend? Would this not have been easier for him so that he felt the same as the other boys?

Changing schools again at 13 absolutely will not help with anxiety. If he has made friends and is happy, just stay put. There was also no need for any Sats testing. A comprehensive will do their own testing and they do not rely on Sats results, up to date ones, or otherwise. I am surprised the prep school was not aware of this.

There are lots of children near me who go to prep schools but don't get a grammar school place or even a place at the local independent secondary schools if they don't pass the entrance exams. Even children at the prep department of the independent senior school near me are not guaranteed a place if they do not pass the entrance exam. Clearly not all children at preps are bright so sometimes the local secondary school is the only sensible option unless boarding is considered. With an anxious child, obviously this would not be a good idea. However, often smaller classes, more sport, better music and drama and fitting in make the prep school fees worthwhile. Not everyone pays for pure academic results. If they did, some senior schools would be half empty!

Be positive about the school, op, and your DS will settle in.

Yes, I think you need to be positive about it yourself. It seems to me that he's at the best school for him. Grammar would have been horrible for him - explain to him that he may indeed have passed the entrance exam, but that you felt that was not the best option. Be careful not to project your own disappointment onto him over this, because you'll have him wishing he was a different kind of child. You will damage his self-esteem.

It seems to me that he's a really bright, really promising child, who does not need the pressured environment of a grammar or any kind of selective school really, and will hopefully do really well at his wonderful, outstanding, fully inclusive, non elitist, non-selective school where everyone has a chance, not just the rich ones, or the ones whose parents are switched on, and where students get to meet other children from all walks of life, which gives them a much broader experience of life paths to choose from. A selective school where everybody's daddy is a banker is only going to breed feelings of failure when one finds one doesn't enjoy the banking environment. At an inclusive school, you would know that there were endless other possibilities and opportunities.