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Original poster

DS was the only child in his class who didn't go to grammar/get a scholarship :(

141 replies

KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 14:45

DS is doing okay at his new school (state secondary) but feels a bit crap that he was the only one who didn't get a 'better' offer.

There were 15 children in his prep school, 8 went to grammar schools and 6 received scholarships.

The other years, there were normally at least a couple of children who went to a state school/paid to go privately again. I can't believe how many got places!

Oh well, just feel bad for DS :(

OP posts:
elastamum · 16/09/2016 16:32

I think school are right. Anxiety can be crippling and where he is now he is likely to be close to the top of his sets, so that will help his confidence. Your DS might be able to resit an exam but he cant resit his childhood. Take a step back and help him settle and be happy where he is. Smile

Naicehamshop · 16/09/2016 16:34

Thank you for your abuse Dixie.
A lot of private and grammar schools put huge pressure on children to achieve - if your child is already anxious this sort of pressure will not help.

Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:34

Omg! I have already said it is my son that is upset about it. Bloody hell.

There was extra questions which were the equivalent to the extra level 6 paper you used to get

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Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:35

Well, not the exact equivalent, but that was the idea

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Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:36

Naice, and you know my son's prep school do you? They're the last people to be giving pressure, honest. Hence they suggested we didn't go for the 11+

You seem to be very bitter about private education

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DixieNormas · 16/09/2016 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladyvimes · 16/09/2016 16:41

There is no such thing as levels in Sats anymore and no such thing as extra tests. All children do the same test and get a score which then tells schools whether they have reached expectations or not.

Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:43

Lady, I literally just said that.

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ladyvimes · 16/09/2016 16:43

Oh and they absolutely cannot be converted because levels no longer exist!

Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:46

Lady, you're completely missing what I'm typing Hmm they can't officially be converted, no. However, it really isn't that difficult to say roughly.

I never said he sat an extra paper, I said they used to do an extra Level 6 paper, but there were questions designed for kids who used to do level 6.

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Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 16:47

Quite frankly, I didn't realise how much people pick things apart! I thought it would be so much easier than just writing his scaled scores (1. Looks a bit gloaty 2. Not everyone knows about them)

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Canyouforgiveher · 16/09/2016 16:49

So you have spent a shed load of money to produce a child with severe anxiety issues?
Well done.

What an absolutely horrible thing to say. I wonder how you would manage to blame me for my daughter's depression.

TrinityForce · 16/09/2016 16:52

Jesus wept, the twats on here surprise me every day.

OP, anxiety is an awful beast to deal with, cunts like that have no right to blame you for it.

LIZS · 16/09/2016 16:54

What made you sit him for SATS?

ladyvimes · 16/09/2016 16:54

Most of the old level 6 objectives have been removed from the new curriculum so your son won't have been tested on them so cannot be awarded level 6 (even equivalently). It's all about broadening knowledge rather than extending now.

Even perfect marks would not be equivalent to an old (and now redundant) level 6!

treggle · 16/09/2016 16:55

Don't worry. In a year he won't care any more. I expect it still feels a bit raw.

Fwiw I moved my dd to a state 6th form from private. All her friends moved to whizzy private schools. We couldn't be happier with her new school Smile

Can he do his sport out of school still?

multivac · 16/09/2016 16:57

naicehamshop You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/09/2016 17:00

I have an anxious ds and I know how hard it is op, you have my sympathy Flowers
It's great to hear he is at an outstanding school and I hope he is getting some decent help with the anxiety - my son has and it has been wonderful to see the change in him.
Onwards and upwards and I hope he will thrive in the less competitive environment of his new school. Despite the disappointment it could well turn out to be a far better environment to help him grow and be happy and achieve what he is capable of.

Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 17:03

Okay, well maybe it isn't technically a level 6 then... The point was, the prep have been good and he's bright! The prep said "it's pretty much a level 6".

Thanks everyone... I put this in education hoping I'd get less people with something bad to say.

We did SATS so he wouldn't stand out on paper at secondary school. We didn't know how he would be treated. I know on file it still has his prep school report but he can be put into sets by his SATs results, just like all the other children.

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bomfunk · 16/09/2016 17:04

I don't even understand the threads on here about grammar and prep etc. It must be very different in other parts of the country - I'm in s.wales and you go to your catchment school (you can choose Welsh or English medium) and then onto the feeder comprehensive / community school. It sounds like madness to me - 'prepping' very young children Confused there is one private comp that I know of, but there just isn't this huge pressure to make 'decisions' educationally speaking, and most primaries are 'good' or 'outstanding', as are most comprehensive schools. Sorry to derail with my musings...it just continually boggles me reading about it!

As a by the by - I honestly think how well a child does is down to support at home. You said your DS is sport and you support him in following those interests. School is school!

WomensNet · 16/09/2016 17:05

Naiceham You're doing really well showing yourself up as an ignorant buffoon. An anxiety disorder is not something created by the school. Go and do your research.

Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 17:07

Bomfunk, our local school was an inadequate school, which had started on needs improvement and went down. It was something ridiculous like 15% of children getting national average. It was awful, classes didn't have their own classroom, they had to share and so children were often doing nothing, while the other class got to use a classroom. We couldn't have sent him there. We didn't get our first choice of school, which was the 2nd closest school but out of catchment. We were giving the local awful one, I just couldn't send him there.

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Original poster
KnifesHope · 16/09/2016 17:08

We also thought DS would benefit from less pupil teacher ratio, which he has :)

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WomensNet · 16/09/2016 17:10

Bomfunk You're a very lucky person indeed. Doesn't work like that down here. School is not just school Wink

BombadierFritz · 16/09/2016 17:26

i'm never convinced by the 'not suitable for grammar' thing, top set of an outstanding comp is going to be fairly pressured, perhaps more so even? but it is said so often on here maybe it is true. was it a super selective grammar? I cant say my super selective ever seemed pressured. the pressure was from sitting the exams themselves. anyway op you actually sound like this school is exactly what you and your ds both wanted so, courage of convictions, just remind him of all the reasons why this school is a great fit for.him