DS was the only child in his class who didn't go to grammar/get a scholarship :(

[KnifesHope]

DS is doing okay at his new school (state secondary) but feels a bit crap that he was the only one who didn't get a 'better' offer.

There were 15 children in his prep school, 8 went to grammar schools and 6 received scholarships.

The other years, there were normally at least a couple of children who went to a state school/paid to go privately again. I can't believe how many got places!

Oh well, just feel bad for DS :(

If he doesn't fair so well under pressure then I would have thought Grammar isn't the place for him anyway.

The best thing you can do is tell yourselves that the Outstanding secondary school he is at now is where his natural talents will show themselves and with hard work will give him the best start in adult life that any school can provide.

If he doesn't fair so well under pressure then I would have thought Grammar isn't the place for him anyway.

The best thing you can do is tell yourselves that the Outstanding secondary school he is at now is where his natural talents will show themselves and with hard work will give him the best start in adult life that any school can provide.

he'll soon get over it, but was wondering too how well prep had done for him, except confidence.
Will his secondary be able to keep up the standard of music and sport he was used to or will you be paying for private lessons? We found even the best comp couldn't provide what a private school could in terms of extra curricular.
Kids are resilient and he'll soon make new friends though, and certainly keep reinforcing that it wasn't because he wasn't clever enough.

oops didn't mean to double post.

So you agreed he wouldn't take 11+ exams  but why then do sports scholarship prep if he wasn't entering the relevant entrance tests.

Gilly, the prep are really amazing. I can't fault them at all, he's intelligent, sporty, great at music, etc. they were great with his anxiety, and due to smaller classes, that helped him.

The secondary is good, he is coping well and he has a card that allows him to take a time out if the stress gets too much. Lots of sports teams, he also gets free music lessons, as he passed the music assessment to play with their band, which means they get free lessons. I'm very happy where he is at, I think.

LIZS, he didn't do the prep, I did say that... I said they offered, but then he was diag used with anxiety disorder, so decided against it, as he was having a rough patch

Did you try for a music or sport scholarship? Lots of private schools offer these, although if you are happy where he is, that's all that matters.
If you are sure he's in the right place there's no need for you to be sad for your ds, surely.

Sounds tricky - for what it's worth my son is at a prep which goes until year 8 my son in year 6 was bottom in everything - had he moved to senior school then he wdnt have been grammar material at all or scholarship either. In one year he turned it around bit of tutoring = more confidence and now he is doing the higher CE paper and has a substantial bursary offer. Is it worth keeping your options open op and pushing on with the sport for entry at 13 and helping with his anxiety to manage it better ? I would feal the same as you and you can only do what you see as the best ? X

Well sounds like school is a good match so not sure why the sadness nor why he thinks he could have got a better offer?

Gilly, we did and the school said they would help prep him for them (we only looked at sports)

We may look at them again for 13+

It seems a bit odd to be worrying/talking about this at the start of Y8. Can you really not let it go?

Well, he is at the start of Year 7? It's still new and I wanted to talk about it

Did he take his SATs in Y5, then?

Sats are in year 6

How can he be at the start of y7 if he got L6 in his SATs?

Did he take SATs in y5 then? This year's SATs weren't levelled.

No? He sat them in year 6

The state grammars round here have a 12+ to 'mop up' the kids who slipped the net the first time round...is that an option for him? If not, I think you just need to work on his self-esteem until he's enjoying the new school so much he wouldn't want to be elsewhere.

Yes, but they can be converted, roughly

Naice - DFOD, his anxiety has nothing to do with his school, a private school can't prevent someone from having anxiety

How did he get level6 sats results when there was no level6 sats paper?

No they can't, not really. And why convert? You are on the education pages, why not just give his SATs scores. It would save all this confusion and misunderstanding.

For goodness sake - stop putting pressure on your poor son. Let him relax and enjoy school without you breathing down his neck and being disappointed for him.
You may find in future that this was the best thing that could happen for him.