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Private schools (!!!)

143 replies

Anthony71 · 18/03/2016 13:05

First-off, I'm a dad not a mum. I hope that's allowed.

I have become something of an expert at private schooling in the last 12 months having come to know four local private schools intimately. My kids all attended an excellent school that closed due to financial trouble last year. So many people have said to me "it can't have been that good if it had to close" but trust me it was an outstanding school. In fact its closure was really down to the fact that the school could not find a buyer because it was too expensive to buy as it owned all it's own property without mortgage/lease etc. So it was rather a victim of it's own value. (The prospective buyers instead purchased a hugely indebted school just down the road with a low-cost leasehold at a bargain price - I mean it was cheaper to buy that school than it was to buy my house...)

Anyhows, our school closed and my three kids were all effectively "dumped on the street" looking for new schools. My eldest child (DC1) is year 10 so was a GCSE priority - we immediately put DC1 into a supposedly "outstanding" school. My middle child DC2 in year 8 is dyslexic and my youngest DC3 is a bright year 6.

For DC2 we looked at all options - state and private. DC2 was offered bottom-set classes in a number of state schools though each of those schools warned us that the experience would be far removed from what they were used to. We were permitted to covertly observe the relevant classes in those state schools and identified disruptive, aggressive and disinterested children. So these schools were our last resort "back-up-plan".

We took DC2 to three (purportedly non-selective) independent schools for 'taster days'. The feedback from two of these schools was that DC2 was simply "too weak" (exact words) and, in one case, "simply the most academically challenging child we have ever encountered". Trust me, DC2 isn't that bad!

One independent school offered DC2 a place mainly because they need the numbers. Never a good reason to go to a school but families can take advantage of these schools in the circumstances if they are happy to take the risk of the school going-under.

My youngest DC3 went to a supposedly outstanding independent junior school.

The reason for my post? Frankly it boils down to the cynical and farcical way these independent schools are run. My year 10 DC1 has studied triple science quite satisfactorily for months only to be told they was no longer good enough for that in the new school. I objected and have struck a deal where DC1 might possibly study triple science if they can prove themselves in the year 10 exams and that will require me (dad) teaching and supporting her to coach her through those exams (the school will not do any more than they are doing). DC2 has been told they might not be able to do GCSE maths unless they get extra help from home (me again, dad) to get them up-to-speed. Notably, neither of these schools believe that the children are incapable of these exams, more that they won't support them taking the exams unless their results improve markedly.

Anyhow, my observation is that I pay handsomely for these kids to attend these schools, I hold down a full-time job and I now find myself having to teach them myself! I mean there are teachers whose actual job is to teach these kids to get them up-to-speed - they have the time and training to do it (especially in independent schools) yet it falls to me to do it without teacher training and with much less time.

My point is: I have got to know a lot of independent schools through this process - I mean really got to know them. I know how they think, I know how they work and I know what drives them. If we had our time again I would not use independent schools full stop. This is not an extreme reaction to a school closure, and it is not limited to any particular type of school. We are talking about small intimate schools, a huge independent grammar school, a GDST school and a Cognita school. They are all the same. I am a product of state schooling and I would definitely work hard with even the most speculative of state schools before going through this crock of crap again.

OP posts:
SAHDthatsall · 30/03/2016 10:21

Always hilarious when someone says that even if they had enough money they wouldn't go independent! Yeah right! It's like the muppets that win the lottery and say it won't change me, I'll be back to work on Monday etc etc. Yeah right... Hmm Hmm Hmm By Tuesday they've left their cleaning job... Wink Wink

jimmyjoejamtoe · 30/03/2016 13:49

Well we have the money bit still chose our bog standard comp. Some people compromise their beliefs when they have children, others don't. I believe in some faint hope of a meritocracy. Life is not fair. Of course. But when has that been a bar to trying to create a fairer society. You have to start somewhere.

Gruach · 30/03/2016 13:58

Well we have the money bit still chose our bog standard comp.

So ... I guess you make sure never to buy books or visit a library, never expend money on fuel or public transport to take your DC to a museum, theatre, gallery, refuse all requests for extra-curricular activities, keep them in dirty, worn out clothes and discourage friendships? All in the name of ensuring your child gains no advantage over the least advantaged in this society?

SAHDthatsall · 30/03/2016 14:23

And maybe you should move to one of those roads you roads you said I wouldn't touch with a bargepole in the shithole aka Thornton Heath? Just to even things out of course. Not that you'd want to give yourself any benefit or advantage of living in a 'better' road...

MinecraftyMum · 03/04/2016 14:37

Always hilarious when someone says that even if they had enough money they wouldn't go independent! Yeah right!

Hmm

That is sometimes the case though. My dc's Primary (state) is outstanding - in the literal sense, not just because Estyn (Wales) says it is. Their future comp is within the top 10 schools in the Country with results far above the UK average.

I've got no desire for them to go anywhere else. There are many things i'd do with a lottery win - paying for schooling isn't one of them.

MumTryingHerBest · 03/04/2016 15:11

SAHDthatsall Wed 30-Mar-16 10:21:56 Always hilarious when someone says that even if they had enough money they wouldn't go independent!

There are plenty of parents who can afford private education opting for selective state schools.

bojorojo · 03/04/2016 17:07

I see quite a few new Range Rovers at my local secondary modern. There are people there who could afford private but prefer a local school that is good enough. Obviously it is not a grammar school and offers less than the local private schools on many fronts.

However I think they like the fact they appear wealthy at the local school. They would not be different to any other parent at an independent school, but at the local sec mod they are the rich few. It suits them!

Iggi999 · 03/04/2016 17:22

Taking your dcs to the library is hardly the same in leg-up terms as paying for them to go to Eton. Hmm
The OP certainly clears up why private schools often have such good exam results - they won't let you enter unless you're going to pass!

teacherwith2kids · 03/04/2016 17:23

Iggi, the same is often true of selective state schools too. I know that one local to me boats English and Maths A* to C as 100% at GCSE ... because the children likely to fail are not entered for the exam by the school, but instead have to enter via another route.

Iggi999 · 03/04/2016 17:25

...no wonder my own results are not "outstanding" then! Shock

LittleBearPad · 03/04/2016 17:26

There are plenty of parents who can afford private education opting for selective state schools.

The key word being selective.

teacherwith2kids · 03/04/2016 17:36

We could afford private schools ... but are financially risk averse, and frankly the local private schools are mainly second rate.

My children passed for selective state schools...

But we send them to the local comprehensive.

I would, however, be the first to admit that this is all about the individual schools involved, and my particular children, rather than because we would never, given different schools and different children, choose the selective schools instead.

MumTryingHerBest · 03/04/2016 18:21

LittleBearPad The key word being selective.

And the reason some children move from private schools to state selective schools?

The reason some children move from state selective schools to private selectives?

Whilst I agree that some may do it for financial reasons, are you saying all do it for this reason?

teacherwith2kids · 03/04/2016 20:31

Round here, a fair number move from private primaries to state comprehensives... sometimes for financial reasons, sometimes because the plan on entering the private primary was to coach them for the state selectives but it becomes apparent over time that the child in question isn't going to make it ...

Sometimes just because the state comprehensives are better than the private secondaries on offer locally, but the parents wanted e.g. a smaller class size for the primary years, as almost all local primaries are running at 30 in Infants and 30+ in KS2. Or sometimes because they moved during the primary school years and failed to get a decent local primary place because classes were full, but can apply for the comprehensive at Y7 with everyone else.

proudmom135 · 04/04/2016 15:04

The school environment matters but I think, the child, too plays a special role to keep going. School educates while parents mold children.

Wink
LittleBearPad · 04/04/2016 17:14

No. I'm saying that where people move their children to state schools when they can afford private (barring risk aversion) they do so to selective schools (which may well be better than the local private school) not the local sink school.

teacherwith2kids · 04/04/2016 17:42

But LittleBear, the choice is not always (away from the fevered world of MN) between selective and sink.

Depending on the child, and the area, the choice can be between:

  • Excellent but too selective for the child private school vs slightly less selective state school.
  • Excellent but too selective for the child private school vs extremely good comprehensive.
  • Excellent but too selective for the child private school vs less good but less selective private school.
  • Adequate private school vs selective state school.
  • Adequate private school vs good comprehensive.
  • Poor private school vs selective state school
  • Poor private school vs somewhat better comprehensive...

and that's before you get into the permutations of specialist schools for particular skills / interests (e.g. the only reason you would want to attend our local private instead of the local comprehensive is if you were very good at rugby)

Yes, there are areas where the choice comes down to adequate private school vs selective school vs not very good on paper school (e.g. in a wholly selective area like Kent), but for a child e.g. with a SpLD, then the not-very-good-on-paper school may in fact be the absolutely perfect fit, much better than either of the others.

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2016 23:14

No I don't think it is. It was a quick comparison.

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