New. At boarding prep school

[Willsoonbesummer]

My 8 year old has just started full boarding at prep school.The feed back has been so negative so far from the school.He is not organised enough etc.Now we feel we have made a mistake and not sure what to do.Any advise from mums who have been through this type of school would be very much appreaciated.

Mum

Is there any reason why they couldn't do the same in a school that does offer boarding facilities?

The sons of friends who are at boarding school in the UK and the also friends who sent their sons when lived overseas are the the most impressive young people you could meet.They lo've their school and have made such wonderful friends.The thing thatt also strikes you is haw kind they are to each other.Bullying that is allowed to go on in day schools is really frowned upon there.That's what we will hopefully be able to give our children.

Summertimeinthecity Thu 25-Feb-16 10:07:42 It seems to me that the thought of the OP's DS being such an impressive boy has upset so many of you.

Can I suggest you read the posts again. No one has suggested that they are upset that the OPs DS is such an impressive boy. However, I do question this claim in the context it was given.

As a parent with children at boarding school, does Pm1234's post sound completely credible to you?. Do parents really marvel at the sight of a DC and how wonderful they are or would an 8 year old really go around introducing themselves to all the parents present and converse intelligently to them. Bear in mind OPs DC has just had an incredile blow from the school which will have done very little to help his self confidence.

Personally if OPs DC has brushed it all off and is now very happy moving forward then I think it is great it is working out.

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 10:15:23 Is there any reason why they couldn't do the same in a school that does offer boarding facilities?

Is there any reason you have asked me this question?

Summerinthecity - pm's post is a wind-up - Come on! There is no more chance she would have any grounds for recognising the OP's son, than I would have for spotting your DC in the queue in Tesco!

Londonmumof4 interesting that you know so many people with DCs at boarding school.

I have to say, I only know one person who went to boarding school and all I can say is that he comes across as just normal. His DCs go to a state primary and he doesn't plan on sending them to boarding school. However, no conclusions can be made about that other than it is a choice he has made.

the the most impressive young people you could meet

In what way?

They are very articulate confident young people.I thinks it's because of the quality of the teaching.They can speak so eloquently,they know what's going on in the world.As I 've before they are such kind thoughtful children. I think that an American would probably stand out these school are quite small really.Our friends who send their children are from Spain and the Far East.More Russian parents are sending their children these days too.I know there are a few Americans at one of our friends schools but not many,so a new eight year old from New York would probably stand out.

The OP way back in January asked for advise from mums who had children at one of these schools.Also from parents who had gone through this system.I hope some of the advise has been helpful to her.Parents who don't agree with boarding school or private school in general for whatever ever reason are not really of any help to her.

MumTrying

Didn't you ask why they couldn't do this in a school that didn't offer boarding?
So why not?
I think people who chose boarding do so because it's what they need/want, so why would they look at a none boarding school?

London

There is a very rich Russian child and several eastern children at dd school.
The nature of the school though sees children from all kinds of backgrounds and cultures. The Russian lad is quickly learning Wiganese from dd and he is teaching her Russian
I'm not sure if his parents will appreciate him saying what's up cock?

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 11:24:14 I think people who chose boarding do so because it's what they need/want...

Londonmumof4 Thu 25-Feb-16 09:04:46 He sounds like such an impressive little boy, although many of the boys at these schools are. Which is why we want to sent our children when they are older.

Mum

London has given her answer though, because they are impressive children, it's obviously the school that nurtures this, and it's a boarding school.
There are huge differences in the way boarding schools operate to day schools not offering boarding.
Well, in our experience anyway. The children care for each other, look out for them, become like siblings in a way.
In a day school the dc may have good relationships, but obviously they go home to parents where boarders have all the time in the world to bond and nurture relationships.

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 11:52:25 Mum London has given her answer though, because they are impressive children, it's obviously the school that nurtures this, and it's a boarding school.

Actually, I do believe Londonmum put it down to:

Londonmumof4 Thu 25-Feb-16 10:49:36 ... I thinks it's because of the quality of the teaching.

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 11:52:25 There are huge differences in the way boarding schools operate to day schools not offering boarding.

And your point is?

Well, in our experience anyway. The children care for each other, look out for them, become like siblings in a way.

...boarders have all the time in the world to bond and nurture relationships.

I didn't realise that what Londonmumof4 actually meant by impressive was bonding with strangers. How exactly does that result in them being "very articulate confident young people."

Mum

It gives them confidence to communicate with all sorts of different people, learn about different cultures, hence other parents can see this.
Some state/ day private schools aren't able to encourage this.

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 12:19:51 Mum It gives them confidence to communicate with all sorts of different people, learn about different cultures, hence other parents can see this. Some state/ day private schools aren't able to encourage this.

Why are they not able to encourage this?

He's probably the only actual american 8 year old boarder that any prep school mums have or will ever encounter. - except he is not American? His father and grandparents are British, not sure we established the nationality of his mother? Which makes PM1234's post all the more bizarre. Unless he was wearing a t-shirt with the MN logo on?!

He is from the US and is a US citizen with his family living in the US. I'm not sure how much more american you can be. His mother is american - she says so. His family live in NYC. He speaks with an american accent. He was in a NYC day school until now. My children's parents have both parents who are Irish but I assure you they are US citizens from birth, speak in american accents and as 8 year olds they completely identified as american and were immersed in that culture.

This boy is as clearly identifiable as from the US to any prep school mum at a match tea as a child from Japan is identifiable as being from there.

The likelihood of there being more than one US 8 year old (not a british child whose parents have gone to the US for a job while he is in boarding school but a child who is being reared in the US) in a prep boarding school is tiny. It is just not something that would occur to US parents even those who plan on their children attending boarding school for high school. It would be culturally shocking. So yes I do believe PM1234 might have identified the boy. Still creepy though.

Mum

Because they have children who live in the same town, street, same socio group, parents working at same place, having attended the same school themselves,doing same activities, hanging on same street corner etc and not experiencing anything outside this narrow little area.
I'm sure others could come up with more to add to the list.

NewLife4Me Thu 25-Feb-16 12:47:09 Because they have children who live in the same town, street, same socio group, parents working at same place, having attended the same school themselves,doing same activities, hanging on same street corner etc and not experiencing anything outside this narrow little area. I'm sure others could come up with more to add to the list.

Can I just ask what planet you actually live on where you think a mixed race family living in a neighbourhood with a highly diverse range of ethnic/cultural mix would be unable to acquire the confidence to communicate with all sorts of different people and learn about different cultures?

Do you honestly believe that this scenario is only evident in boarding schools?

That is definitely not true for the London day prep schools: mix of parents, nationalities, cultures, languages and postcodes.

triplespin fully agree. It's not even true of a lot of state schools due to the influx of immigrants etc.

I am starting to suspect that the very small children at boarding schools turn out so well because they have been removed from the influence of some quite frankly barmy parents.

Loads of different religions, cultures, languages at my dc's school. No Russian oligarch though.

We can only speak from our own experience, imo.
The state schools our children have attended have all been as I described, you are lucky if you have had a good experience of state schools.

Mum

I'm sure that scenario happens in schools where you are, but the scenario where I live is the one I described above, hence the word some, perhaps SOME needs capitals.

My ds1 school was a sink estate school, there were 4 dc who didn't live on the estate spread throughout the full school.
This school is gone now, but the primaries and secondaries round here, serve a few streets, perhaps a wider spread for some secondaries but no different socio economic groups, most parents work in same area, jobs etc.
My apologies if this isn't what some others experience.
We have a very small minority of immigrants, they tend not to live in our town.

NewLife4Me I note the emphasis on state schools. However, you make no mention of private day schools.

I am also guessing that, given the complete lack of diversity on any level, you live in an very remote area.

Mum, we don't have grammar and the only private school is in the next town and similar to what I described. It does however, have a better mix of diversity, but there again they are all English speaking second or even third generation and the same socio economic group.
Further up the county there is a grammar with the same type of diversity, but I only know this from websites and hearsay tbh.
We are not renowned for good schools, some are ok but like elsewhere they are full within a few streets of the school.
Most schools both primary and secondary are never over subscribed, there were 22 children in dd year at state primary.

My DC are at a selective independent in West London where yes, there are children of Russian oligarchs mingling with a significant proportion of pupils on full or partial bursaries, alongside those who struggle to pay the fees and those who don't. Culturally it is very diverse - children with two "white British" parents are definitely in the minority. But I'm still fully aware that we live in a bubble - a diverse bubble though it may be.