New. At boarding prep school

[Willsoonbesummer]

My 8 year old has just started full boarding at prep school.The feed back has been so negative so far from the school.He is not organised enough etc.Now we feel we have made a mistake and not sure what to do.Any advise from mums who have been through this type of school would be very much appreaciated.

I was replying to the posts who said it was child abandonment and why bother having them in the first!

Sorry cut myself off,I think you will find londonmum was replying to the usual abuse of It's child abandonment and why bother having them in the first place!

Yes,Thank you I was.

My DS has been boarding since he was eight, no school where we live could offer him what he gets there.We want him to have the best we can give him and in our opinion a boys boarding prep school is doing that.

Actually the best schools in the UK are day schools, public schools yes but not boarding. Children do not have to be sent away from home to have an excellent education.

And in second place in the Times A-level league table for 2015 was, brace yourself, a state school.

The old school tie is increasingly an anachronism.

London has great day schools ,some other areas do too.My son's school is by far the best option for us,way ahead in every way than any independent day or grammar we have locally.Surely people have the right to make the choice they think is best for their child.I know well which are the highest achieving schools and work very hard to send my school to one of them.

My DS has been boarding since he was eight, no school where we live could offer him what he gets there.

Where is he, Hogwarts?

I hope the little boy in the OP is home and happy.

The OP was coming to England.I'm sure it all sorted out by now ,I bet the little boy has settled in and is enjoying his school.

Query

Rightside
And no school could give an 8 year old the love of a family.

We recently moved back to the US from a European nation. Our youngest is our DS age 9. We are a very close family and I am a sahm but DS misses his previous country, friends, school sooooooo much he is always asking if we can move back and we have been here 9 months. I am also very homesick for our previous life and we all have lots of friends here.

I just can't imagine an 8 year old going through this alone. This seems totally unnecessary please bring him home! No status is worth it.

Rightside - genuinely interested to hear in what aspects your son's prep is better than the London day schools such as Westmjnster Under and Colet Court?

I didn't say it was better than those schools.My son wouldn't be able to travel to either of them each morning.So his current school was the best option for us as it is used to sending boys to our choice of senior school.He loves it there, so it's working out very well.The pastoral care is outstanding and so are the academic results.

My three DS's are at boarding prep.the eldest moves on to senior school this year.They all love boarding even though they have very different personalities.They don't lose the love of a good family,we are very close.They are wonderful boys and this is only enhanced by their school.

Notattigermother
May I ask how often you see your boys?

They have exeats every three weeks We attend matches concerts and plays and lots of other events.When they first started boarding we lived overseas but we are confident we made the right decision for their education.

I am trying to understand what boarding offers over and above the top day schools. So are they only an option when one is not local to these schools? I checked the entry criteria at say 8+ to some of these boarding schools and it seems less onerous and demanding than the process for WUS/CC.

If you got divorced you'd still expect to see your dcs more than once every three weeks. There must be some part of my brain that just can't compute this being a "choice".

The boys make really good friends from all parts of the world.They go on to senior schools together.It might be for all but my boys love it.We sent them well prepared and they threw themselves into everything the school had to offer from the start.They will carry on boarding for senior school but a small number of boys decide on day school at that stage.

My son is at Oxford now and would still say his days at boarding prep were wonderful.He made great friends and was able to visit their homes in various parts of the country and overseas.The teaching he received was second to none.I remember him saying after his first term aged nine,the biggest difference was the way the boys treated and supported each other.We have a very close relationship today and he really appreciates what we have done for him.I am sure the OP's son will be having a great time now he sounds like a smashing little chap.

I still want to hear from a child who boarded at 8 that it was a great experience and that they are really glad that their parents sent them away. Funny how on the whole, they are pretty hard to find. Parents saying on here that their child loved boarding from an early age doesn't really cut the mustard - my parents would have said I loved all sorts of things that I really, really didn't. And which parent is really likely to say 'well actually, I sent them away at 8, but it was utterly the wrong decision, they are emotionally scarred by being sent away at an early age and we now have no contact'? No, that's right, none of them, because if they had the insight to realise that, they wouldn't have sent them away.

I went to boarding prep so did my brother and sister.We all have happy memories of our days there.We made great friends most of whom are our closest friends today.Our children are there now and we are delighted to be able to give them the same experience.

My relationship with my parents has always been strong as is my husbands(he starting boarding for prep too)Maybe if you visited one of the super preps we have you would see for yourself what a fantastic experience children can have there.

Zoe, I boarded from 9. It was mixed. I was very homesick at the beginning of each term and on exeat weekends, but compared to the absolute daily misery of most of the other schools I had been to, it was bliss. Socially, academically, in terms of extra curriculum activities. Compared to how I felt in the day school I had just come from, I was in heaven, a transformed, happy child. I can remember the relief.

I am really glad my parents sent me there.

But I knew why. And I knew I was loved at home, which if you read Joy Schaverien, is one of the critical things.

And most, not all, but most of the people I have met who went to that school believe it was very good.

There was one other school, a day school, in Australia, where I was happy both at home and at school, where the teaching esp in maths was outstanding and the social side nice.

The other four were dreadful.

As was the ( boarding) school to which I went later.

So not 8, and I was homesick. But I am really grateful to my parents...

Hi OP,
I just come from watching my DS and your DS play rugby this afternoon,well I'm pretty sure it was your DS.He was playing away at my sons school school.My goodness OP what a handsome,intelligent and engaging boy he is..All the mums were blown away by him at the match tea which followed the game.He has certainly made friends and not just at his own school.You must be so proud of him and you would have to be a wonderful mother to have brought up a boy like that.The world's his oyster I would say.I will PM you too.Best Wishes.Xxx