Can we have a not-too polarised discussion about Eton, Harrow and Winchester?

[needtothinkaboutseniorschools]

I need to choose a senior school by the end of this year. We're looking at these three after discussion with school. Ds is only 9 so it's difficult to know what he'll be like in 4 years but right now he likes quantum physics, Lego and Dr Who and is very musical. He would be aiming for a music scholarship or exhibition and I trust the advice from the school as they clearly have a lot of experience in recommending senior schools.

I'm amazed we're even thinking about these schools and think all of them look amazing, but I've trawled through other mn threads and seen that some posters have extreme opinions about some of these schools. I'm thinking surely they can't be so different, as they all look great and they take boys from similar prep schools.

So please could I have some informed views on what the schools are like, without it getting too polarised? We will look at all three, but I know that the view you get on an open morning or tour isn't the same as the day-to-day experience.

We are also considering some state schools near to us, as those are good too, but clearly offer a very different experience.

Fizzy was definitely a good description of DS at that age!

Mmm ... We have one of those bright boys who aren't necessarily enamoured of academic work and I'm relieved that he ended up at the school he's at. At the moment he sees (most) work as something to be done as quickly and efficiently as possible so he can spend more of the day with a houseful of new friends and innumerable activities. Which is very much what his new housemaster wants. He quite liked the look of W when we visited but he would have been miserable if asked to make intellectual endeavour his sole priority. And, although naturally gregarious, he does like his own space.

Personal space didnt seem to feature in the house,the prep room(mugging hall?) was basically an arrangement of small desks around the outside of the room,a couple of shelves and a curtain,that in the 21st century is not something we think is acceptable, likewise we found the attitude to laptops and phones to be rather odd,not the school for us,but as its oversubscribed clearly many people are very happy with it.

Wurzel I was only joking about the school trying to put you off, of course you are in the position of choosing the school.
The div has been excellent in all years for my DS and completely different from other schools since history, English Lit and RE are not taken as public examinations but are taught in an eclectic cross curricular fashion according to the penchant of the don.

YahYah all the DCs who get into these schools are very efficient at doing their academic work. They otherwise could not be able to enjoy everything else that is on offer. I really do not think there is as much difference as people seem to think between the opportunities and engagement of boys in activities outside of lessons.

outside of lessons compared to E and H.
They are all excellent but I accept that what makes Winchester particularly excellent in our eyes is not well marketed.

I would have thought that E and H were fairly indistinguishable, but we have friends with a DS at each, so they clearly spotted some difference between the two. You usually know what will be best for your own child.

You may well be right about efficiency Temporaryusername - but this particular boy could happily pick out others who are considerably more studious.

I gather that years ago at E (late 70s say,) it was possible to avoid a huge amount of sport by sloping off to the computer room. But vigorous participation in everything seems to be the mantra now. Any F blocker looking for a quiet, gentle time finds himself volunteered for stuff.

Opting out of sport is not a possibility for first years at W either. The ethos for all these oversubscribed full time boarding schools is vigorous participation whether a boy is 'fizzy' or 'quirky'. Perhaps W is different in allowing boys as they get older to choose what they want to participate 'with vigour' in (might be something like chess or art as well as rowing) and sideline the others. Drama and music, art and sport all occur as a variety of house activities and competitions so it would be difficult for particularly a junior boy to opt out of those activities even if he wanted to at W.

(Yay!)

(Ignore.)

Definitely fizzy ...

to Gruach and previous alias

Indeed ...

Some boys can be fizzy and quirky which might have to change this into a Venn diagram

I think my DS is probably at the fizzier end of the spectrum but a bit of a perfectionist in what he really cares about and likes thinking deeply about things.

"The ethos for all these oversubscribed full time boarding schools is vigorous participation"

which is kind of the whole point of boarding school - to groom boys to become institutionalized/corporate.

[Sigh]

Thankfully the school I'm referring to seems quite keen on boys who make their first internet billion before they've left school or who miss their A' Levels to pop off to Hollywood. They're certainly not being encouraged to become identikit anything.

Temp I tried to build a deep thinking perfectionist. Utterly failed. He makes up for it in native wit and the odd flash of staggering brilliance. Oddly he expects perfection from cartoon film franchises and deep thinking from Dr Who ...

OP - one thing; I do have the feeling, from what I'm observing right now, that the school near Windsor does require a degree of robustness. I don't know quite how that compares to Winchester.

Robustness in managing their timetables but an ethos of encouraging kindness, acceptance of differences and lack of arrogance despite the banter between the boys. I suppose that means that boys are n't left to feel uncomfortable from sustained borderline unpleasant teasing.

I quite enjoyed this piece by Ivo Delingpole about Eton life from the boys' perspective link.

"which is kind of the whole point of boarding school - to groom boys to become institutionalized/corporate." - This I disagree with Bobo - but you will have your own experience

Ah, thanks Indrid, that was nicely written. (Though I could have done without the sepia photo and the rather similar-looking alumni ...)

But, as I know I've said before, every single E and OE I know or have known was like that before they went. Charming, persuasive ... Perhaps at another school other aspects of their character might have dominated, who knows.

• Sorry, The Archers called me.

Meant to say - I'm not convinced that the school effects some miraculous change in its pupils. I think (contrary to the professed belief of several MN posters) they are careful to select boys who will do a particular thing and then just let them run with it.

My problem with charm developed to persuade is that it in some people it comes across as for purpose rather than genuine. I would rather work with some-one less charming and more upfront. I think reasons for why there are so many Etonians in the public office etc include that they are often very able, have a sense of the importance of public roles and power plus come from well funded family backgrounds that support the risk of doing less well funded but public jobs. Also with such a huge school there are a lot of OEs so that increases the chances.

That's a slightly cynical viewpoint Temp! All he's actually saying is that Eton (in this case - other schools are available) is very good at teaching boys to go out and ask people for help in a polite yet assertive manner in order to get stuff done. You make it sound like some kind of weaselly deception .

Not 'weasely deception' but sometimes superficial and not from genuinely being interested in people. BTW this is not specific to Etonians. All these schools require similar characteristics for boys to have a good relationship with their teachers etc. Some might not bother and prefer being a bit rebellious.
I tend to agree with Gruach that innate charm is probably there at the start for many.

Dont think the third to last para rings true(or have we missed something?)
www.thedp.com/article/2015/11/who-is-lorenzo-bonfilgio

Perhaps the English students they interviewed were OEs or OHs ....