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Original poster

pupil leave of absence to attend out wedding DENIED!!

76 replies

ApollO88 · 19/10/2015 16:16

so me and my sons father our finally getting married in November. more out of courtesy more than anything, we put in a request for our son to have the day of the wedding off and had this in response:

^"I am afraid the, following direct instructions from the government, we are no longer permitted to authorise any term time holidays/absence unless exceptional circumstances can be demonstrated.

Unless you are able to demonstrate that the absence is related to exceptional circumstances, i am sorry to say that i can't authorise the absence request and if your child doesn't attend on these days it will be recorded as aunathorised and in certain circumstances you may be liable to a fixed penalty notice. Kind regards. Mrs HeadTeacher"^

My son will be absent the day of the wedding, no ifs or buts. I should add also that my son is in the reception class(so its not like hes missing any important GCSE preparations) and he has so far had 100% attendance.

what can i do oh wise mumsnetters?

OP posts:
bexcee8 · 19/10/2015 16:18

Is he under 5? If so education isn't even compulsory so they certainly can't fine you.
Two options;
You take him out of school for the wedding.
You change the day of your wedding to a weekend/school holiday.
I know what I'd do Wink

Arfarfanarf · 19/10/2015 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shitebag · 19/10/2015 16:22

I just phoned in a Sickie for my son when we got married and the school were fine with that... unfortunately I didn't realise that he had already informed his teacher about our upcoming do but no one ever mentioned it, oops :o

ooerrmissus · 19/10/2015 16:23

A) yes Mrs headteacher the circumstances are exceptional on account of the fact I only intend to get married once.

B) please see news reports on the recent court case with regard to the interpretation of 'regular attendance'. My DS does attend regularly according to the law.

meditrina · 19/10/2015 16:23

You won't get fined for a single day's unauthorised absence; and you can't be fined at all if he's below compulsory school age.

But it will be unauthorised, unless you have an exceptional reason for choosing term-time.

GinandJag · 19/10/2015 16:24

Send him in for registration and pick him up by break time?

SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2015 16:24

I would take him out but was there any reason why you chose up have your wedding on a school day? From your OP it sounds a very low key, perfunctory affair.

JeffsanArsehole · 19/10/2015 16:31

I'm sure you can manage to pay the £50 fine if they do decide to fine you, just add it to the cost of the wedding

Have a great time Smile

patterkiller · 19/10/2015 16:32

I do think the world has gone mad that someone would put a day of reception above a wedding especially for the child's parents.

Can you imagine in twenty years time when said child asks why he wasn't there 'well, the head teacher said it was important to attend your very important class, missing one day of reception would of sent your eduction into an ever decreasing circle'

Congratulations, take your DS and enjoy your family day.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2015 16:33

Still not sure why the OP would have chosen to have her wedding on a school day, regardless of whether the school should authorise it or not.

PerspicaciaTick · 19/10/2015 16:48

The HT is being an arse, it is absolutely within her power to grant your DS a day's exceptional leave. She is just choosing not to, either because she is a coward or because she is lazy or because she is on a power trip.

Snossidge · 19/10/2015 16:50

You won't get a fine for one day. I'd just take him out.

Stillunexpected · 19/10/2015 16:51

Still not sure why the OP would have chosen to have her wedding on a school day, regardless of whether the school should authorise it or not.
Possibly because that was the only date they could get with the registry office/church/reception venue? Popular venues get booked up months in advance - unless it's Don't Tell the Bride where they seem to be able to magic the whole thing up in three weeks!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/10/2015 16:52

I suspect had it been another close family members' wedding it would have been authorised. Because it's your wedding and you could have chosen a non-school day to get married they are interpreting that strictly. That said I wouldn't worry if the date can't be changed just take him out.

PGTip · 19/10/2015 16:52

It's a standard letter the school has to send to say authorised absence has been denied. Doesn't mean you can't take him out just that they can't say it's ok. Please bear in mind that this is but the schools decision it is the governments. Whether or not a fine is given tho is down to the school head.

ScienceRocks · 19/10/2015 16:53

I don't read your interpretation at all. It looks like a bog standard letter to me, stating that schools are no longer able to authorise absences for pretty much any reason, and warning you that therefore there is a risk that the LEA will levy a fine.

I think it highly unlikely that the latter will happen, but the school is merely stating its position, which is that it can't authorise any absence at all, and all absences, for whatever reason and regardless of whether the parent has explained the circumstances, will be marked in the register as unauthorised.

Enjoy your wedding day with your ds in attendance and don't give it another thought!

Youarentkiddingme · 19/10/2015 16:54

What is exceptional leave then And how do you demonstrate it?

That's what I'd be asking in response!

TeenAndTween · 19/10/2015 16:54

I'm not convinced this counts as exceptional under the new guidance. The guidance has been tightened up and defines exceptional.

The OP for reasons best known to herself has chosen to get married in term time rather than the 14 weeks of holidays / half terms / INSETs.

So I think the HT is pretty much forced to deny, whatever they may actually feel. Extremely unlikely to be fined for 1 day off though.

DancingDinosaur · 19/10/2015 16:55

I chose a week day to get married so I could get the venue I wanted. And it was loads cheaper. I'd just take the day anyway op.

DameMargaretOfChalfont · 19/10/2015 16:57

You will not be fined.

To be fined your child has to have 10 unauthorised absences for a leave of absence which the school has declined (ie 5 consecutive school days).

Enjoy your day.

SoupDragon · 19/10/2015 16:59

So I think the HT is pretty much forced to deny, whatever they may actually feel.

I agree with this.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 19/10/2015 17:02

Unless your child's parents get married on a regular basis I would say that was exceptional.

As to what I would do? Wrote a slightly snotty yet polite letter back explaining that it is of course exceptional and that he will not be attending that day regardless so if they choose to record his absence as unauthorised, when they had the chance to authorise this exceptional circumstance, that's their perogative.

Then think no more about it and have a lovely wedding!

GlacindaTheTroll · 19/10/2015 17:04

To be grim, exceptional need would be terminal illness or imminent military deployment, both of which mean you really don't have much scope to choose dates.

If you're finally getting round to marrying a long-term partner, it sounds as if there was plenty of scope.

But as your DC is in reception, it's totally understandable that this might not have occurred to you at the time of booking. Check your LEA policy, because most only fine after one long absence or repeated shorter ones. And as pointed out by others, you can't fine for a child below compulsory school age anyhow.

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