pupil leave of absence to attend out wedding DENIED!!

[ApollO88]

so me and my sons father our finally getting married in November. more out of courtesy more than anything, we put in a request for our son to have the day of the wedding off and had this in response:

^"I am afraid the, following direct instructions from the government, we are no longer permitted to authorise any term time holidays/absence unless exceptional circumstances can be demonstrated.

Unless you are able to demonstrate that the absence is related to exceptional circumstances, i am sorry to say that i can't authorise the absence request and if your child doesn't attend on these days it will be recorded as aunathorised and in certain circumstances you may be liable to a fixed penalty notice. Kind regards. Mrs HeadTeacher"^

My son will be absent the day of the wedding, no ifs or buts. I should add also that my son is in the reception class(so its not like hes missing any important GCSE preparations) and he has so far had 100% attendance.

what can i do oh wise mumsnetters?

[nowirehangers]

it's a standard letter, it's not a problem. it will say on your child's report he had one day of unauthorised absence, end of story, if there were 29 days then people might start asking questions. Forget about it, enjoy your wedding.

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

your mistake is to REQUEST the day off.

I just sent in letters telling the head where the children would be

....she said once she was sorry she couldn't give permission for their absence (family wedding on a Saturday, 600+ miles away), and looked most perturbed when I told her I was not asking for her sanction, merely informing her (as a courtesy) where MY children would be.

Have a great wedding day and do not let the school bother you a jot!

[tabitha8]

I just wouldn't accept the refusal on this. I would have a meeting with her and point out her error - if the child doesn't have to be in school, then how can she refuse to authorise the absence? She should have written back to you to say that your child doesn't have to be there at his age.
Congratulations, by the way!

[mumeeee]

OP as your DS is only 4 he doesn't have to be in compulsory education So you can take him out without worrying about fines or anything.

[FrancesNiadova]

As well as your DS only being 4,
A wedding is a religious observance and has to be treated as such, ie authorised. (Even if not a religious ceremony, it can be classed as a Humanist one).

[Floggingmolly]

Can you imagine in twenty years time when said child asks why he wasn't there
What unutterable bollocks

[roundtable]

I once had a child in my class who wasn't invited her mum and step dad to be's wedding. Or her other siblings. They had to come to school and then be picked up by their dad after school.

Now that I was about.

It's a shame it wasn't authorised but don't worry about it. Enjoy your day and congratulations!

[StillRainingInMay]

I might be remembering wrongly, but I'm sure that one family won a court hearing about taking their child out of school to take them for a few days to a family funeral abroad. They won on the basis that their child had a right to a family life. Wouldn't this come under that too?

I do think that the whole attendance thing has gone a bit crazy if any school even thinks of keeping a child away from their parents' wedding! It sounds like that's their stock response and they're trying it on (wrongly and possibly illegally if your child is only 4).

Enjoy your day!

[neolara]

That's ridiculous. Take him out of school for the day. Don't give it another thought. Nothing will happen.

[LaCerbiatta]

Some responses here are totally insane. So what if there's an unauthorised absence?? We've had a few, we don't even ask for authorisation, we just notify the school. We're foreign and if we didn't travel by a day or so outside of school holidays we just would not see our families - I sure know what's more important.

I wonder if the realisation from the recent court case that only regular attendance is compulsory will change people's extremism....

[CremeEggThief]

How ridiculous. Just phone in sick.

[WellyMummy]

He doesn't HAVE to be at school. Take him out for the day and if you want to be courteous then write a note the day before informing them of the absence - rather than asking for it.
Don't escalate the situation in advance or you'll get a reputation for being THAT parent. If further action is taken afterwards, which I think is very unlikely, then you can kick up a fuss if you want.

[prh47bridge]

I wonder if the realisation from the recent court case that only regular attendance is compulsory will change people's extremism

The recent court case was heard by magistrates. As such it does not set a precedent. The LA could appeal this decision. If they do they have a good chance of winning.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

I think I read last week that the LA are appealing the decision. I'm not sure anyone will change their policy until a final decision is made.

[Donnerwetter]

The Head could easily find this to be exceptional circumstances. I've had far less exceptional reasons for absence approved, recently. The Head is taking a harder line than is necessary. I may be wrong, but I think they only fine you for absence beyond the first 5 days in the year?

[prh47bridge]

I think I read last week that the LA are appealing the decision

They indeed lodged an appeal late last week.

[d270r0]

My sons school states theybcan only give time off for religious festivals. Many weddings are religious festivals. So whether yours is or not, (they're not going to check whether its at a church or not!) write a letter back stating it is important he attends for his religious education. I think they are more likely to let you go then.

[caravanista13]

You chose to get married on a school day. What did you expect? School is a commitment not something you dip in and out of.

[southeastastra]

one day off is not dipping in and out. lots of weirdos on this thread really

of course they should be allowed one day off the whole system is wacko.

and someone up thread said it didn't matter for four year olds .,,

[Aussiemum78]

The amount of time educators are spending on this ridiculous bureaucratic nonsense must be costing millions.

I think they should have a number of absences due to illness or family events that are not required to be authorised ie the first 5 just require a parent note. After that they can chase up approvals....and identify students with real attendance issues.

But that would be common sense wouldn't it?

[NadiaWadia]

Oh, for goodness sake!

[NadiaWadia]

That was to caravanista btw

[chantico]

I think keeping track of a number of days etc would be more bureaucratic than the current system. Which is essentially the same as it has been for a generation (all they did was remove explicit mention of holidays, and change the word special to exceptional).

It's all down to your HT, and no amount of Government fiddling is going to standardise all of them or ensure that school governors only appoint people with common sense.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

That's what I think is happening anyway Aussie mum. I'm not aware of any LA that is fining for all unauthorised absence even where the child's attendance is 100%. There may be one though.
And if they aren't fining, then it doesn't make much difference to the parent, it's just the schools figures that look bad.

[Youknowit]

It's the school decision how they record the absence, i suspect the school said no because there are 190 days the child has to go to school and 175 they don't and they will say the wedding could be on one of those 175 days. Regarding the potential for a fine, you need to check your local authorities FPN policy document, they all have to publish one if they are using them. It may tell you if there is a minimum number of days before they will consider fining you. In our local area, 1 day off would not get a fine.