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Original poster

pupil leave of absence to attend out wedding DENIED!!

76 replies

ApollO88 · 19/10/2015 16:16

so me and my sons father our finally getting married in November. more out of courtesy more than anything, we put in a request for our son to have the day of the wedding off and had this in response:

^"I am afraid the, following direct instructions from the government, we are no longer permitted to authorise any term time holidays/absence unless exceptional circumstances can be demonstrated.

Unless you are able to demonstrate that the absence is related to exceptional circumstances, i am sorry to say that i can't authorise the absence request and if your child doesn't attend on these days it will be recorded as aunathorised and in certain circumstances you may be liable to a fixed penalty notice. Kind regards. Mrs HeadTeacher"^

My son will be absent the day of the wedding, no ifs or buts. I should add also that my son is in the reception class(so its not like hes missing any important GCSE preparations) and he has so far had 100% attendance.

what can i do oh wise mumsnetters?

OP posts:
Original poster
ApollO88 · 19/10/2015 17:08

DS is under 5. Wedding was booked before son started in reception class, at the time he was in nursery so it hadnt occurred to us to schedule our special day around term dates. The wedding is very small, with just our immediate families and a best friend each. so it seemed ridiculous to have to wait 9 months for a weekend day and knocked over £300 off the fees for the day.

OP posts:
youngestisapsycho · 19/10/2015 17:09

I'm sure schools can't authorise any absences any more? My DD is having 2 weeks out of school. The headteacher wrote to me to say he couldn't authorise, but unofficially he accepts she will not be in school and hopes we have a wonderful time on our trip.

TeenAndTween · 19/10/2015 17:11

This link may be interesting to those wanting to clarify the definition of 'exceptional'.

Asteria36 · 19/10/2015 17:15

When we took the dsc out of school early for a wedding they were clear that they couldn't authorise the days off but they couldn't turn us away if we arrived to collect the dsc from school. Just take him out for the day - they will not get it very far if they decide to take the matter further (high is really unlikely).

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/10/2015 17:16

It might be worth writing back and explaining that and the head may agree it is actually exceptional. Perhaps they didn't notice it was for a wedding. If he's under 5 there's no question of a fine anyway so I wouldn't worry anyway.

DameMargaretOfChalfont · 19/10/2015 17:24

Just take the day off - there will be no consequences due to:-

  1. Your DS's age - he legally doesn't need to be in school until the term AFTER he turns 5.
  2. The fact that it's one day.

Don't worry about it.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2015 17:52

Still not sure why the OP would have chosen to have her wedding on a school day, regardless of whether the school should authorise it or not.
Possibly because that was the only date they could get with the registry office/church/reception venue?

Oh, ok. I got the impression from the OP ("finally getting married ... more out of courtesy more than anything") that it was a quick visit into the registry office and out again.

Branleuse · 19/10/2015 17:56

theyre not allowed to authorise stuff anymore, so just pull a sickie. Less paperwork for them

NoahVale · 19/10/2015 18:04

but not only is it a school day, i assume it is a work day and thereby inconveniencing most people?
anyway, your choice,
just ring in sick on the day OP
i expect the head teacher's hands are tied.

Thankfulforeveryday · 19/10/2015 18:05

I just got a day authorised for my DD to attend my DH graduation ceremony and she is at high school, I'm glad her HT has some sense, unlike yours!! Just ignore it and have a great day ??

MrsUltracrepidarian · 19/10/2015 18:36

When we applied for permission take our DC out, the HT sad she couldn't authorise a non-illness related reason - hinting heavily that illness would be acceptable. We took the hint.

SouthAmericanCuisine · 19/10/2015 18:45

A single day for a parents wedding is unlikely to warrant a FPN, but if your DS has further time off through the year, the school can, and might, revisit this absence.
I wouldn't lie about illness - they will know it's not true, and they might have a policy of insisting on parents providing evidence for further sickness absences when it is suspected they have lied in the past.

5madthings · 19/10/2015 18:45

Oh this is daft, take him.out, they won't fine you.

With regards to wedding choice of day etc. Dh and I got married this may after 17 yrs, obviously the five madthings came. We got married on a Thursday at 11am because it was the cheapest time the registry office did. Weekends or even a week day but after school time were way more expensive, and also booked up. We booked in Nov? For a wedding the next may. Basic registry office wedding, not at all fancy. Luckily the thu we got turned out to be in My half term. As it was my eldest son still ended up missing Extra sessions his high school chose to put on in the half term and they were funny about him missing them and asked if he really needed to attend the wedding!

pictish · 19/10/2015 18:47

I agree. Keep him off...no doubt about it. He's 4 and his parents are getting married!
Silly school.

Hulababy · 19/10/2015 18:52

Just take him out for the day. Don't lie about it - far too often children let it slip anyway so no point. Just take him out, have it as unauthorised and then forget about it.

One unauthorised absence won't make a blind bit of difference to your child's education, nor that of any of his classmates, ime anyway. And it would be a very rare occurrence for you to receive a fine for one day's unauthorised absence.

TeenAndTween · 19/10/2015 19:28

The OP has also had 5 years to get married before her DS started school, so I'm not surprised it's not authorised.

Hope you have a lovely day though OP.

pictish · 19/10/2015 19:48

Oh give over do.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 19/10/2015 19:51

The HT can authorise absence for this, and many have done. Either he has misunderstood the new regulations or he is choosing not to authorise it and blaming the government.

They can't fine you until any absence after the beginning of the term he turns 5, so I would ignore the letter and enjoy your day.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 19/10/2015 19:55

I got the impression from the OP ("finally getting married ... more out of courtesy more than anything") that it was a quick visit into the registry office and out again.

The more out of courtesy refers to informing the school rather than getting married, I think.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2015 19:58

Mis-read that one Blush

heheheheheheh · 19/10/2015 20:04

The relevant information here is that the child is under 5. This means he will not reach compulsory school age until after Christmas.

The Schools Admissions Code allows parents of children under compulsory school age to decide whether their child attends part-time or full-time.

The OP has a right to send her ds to school that day or decide not to. The headteacher is not just unreasonable, they are also wrong.

OP, pm me if you need specific references to the legislation.

nephrofox · 19/10/2015 20:13

He's 4. Just take him out of school. For the day, or the week, whatever suits. Noone is going to prison and his gcse performance will not be affected.

apple1992 · 19/10/2015 20:53

I am surprised it has not been authorised, I would have thought this counts as exceptional, but it depends on the LA. I know the only holidays that should be authorised, following new guidance, is for those with a parent in the armed forces.
Whether or not you could be fined depends on how many sessions your child has missed within a 10 week period. In our LA, you can be fined if the child misses more than 8 in a ten week period (1 session = half a day. So 8 sessions = 4 days). The fine is £60 per parent per child.

apple1992 · 19/10/2015 21:09

Just saw that he is 4 - hooray for the OP!

hellsbells99 · 20/10/2015 04:51

Our school authorised a day off for my teenage DDs to attend their cousin's wedding last year as bridesmaids. Got the normal blurb letter about how important attendance was but as these were exceptional circumstances, they would authorise it.